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Thursday, January 4, 2007 Henry arranges for Simon talk to Carly using a ruse about a vase and some disposable cell phones. But Katie is not happy when she finds out what he's up to! Today’s episode was directed by John O'Connell and written by David A. Levinson.
Transcripts from TVMegasite Katie: Yes, I'm calling about Simon Frasier. How can you be having so much trouble finding him? He's an extremely tall man. Australian accent. Kind of stands out around here. Ohh, am I glad to see you! Henry: Oh, I wish I could stay, but I can't. Katie: Of course you can. I'll spring for coffee while we figure out how we're going to find Simon. Henry: Okay, would you please tell me what it is you have against the police, huh? Katie: I just spoke with them on the phone. They're hopeless. Besides, no one knows how Simon thinks better than you and me, right? Henry: I can't. I can't -- I can't -- I can't-- I can't watch you go down this path again. Katie: What path? Henry: You don't think I see the stars in your eyes? You think if Simon ends up behind bars, that Mike is just going to come running back to you? I can't watch you break your heart again, sweetie -- Katie: All right, we need to adjust your attitude. Forget the coffee, I'm getting you a martini. Henry: No, no, no, it's too early for me to drink. What are you doing? Katie: You never turn down a martini. Are you feeling okay -- Henry: Get your hands off of me! I can't drink because I have to drive. Katie: What? You're chauffeuring again? Henry: Yes. And, so I need to get upstairs and dust off the old uniform. Katie: Who's your passenger? Henry: Oh, you don't know him. I mean, you don't know her. She's a she. Just a reference from an old customer. Katie: Where are you taking her? Henry: I'm not sure. Katie: She didn't say when she made the reservation? Henry: No, that's not what I mean. I know -- I know where I'm taking her. I just wrote it down, and it slipped my mind. Anyway, I need to get out there. Look out world, Coleman's back on the road. Katie: God help us all. Henry: Oh, bubbles, you have no idea.
Simon: Henry, come on. Come on. Come on. Henry: Freebird. Freebird. I thought we worked out a code. Simon: And I thought that you would bring me up a coffee. Where is it? Henry: The dining room was a little occupied right now. Simon: Police? Henry: Peretti. I don't know which is worse. Simon: Okay, she didn't follow you up, did she? Henry: No. You know what? I'm getting a little tired of lying to her, though, Simon, okay? She's one of the very few semi-functional relationships I've been able to maintain. I want to keep that going. Simon: Okay, all right. What about the other thing? Were you able to talk to Carly? Henry: Well, I got a little problem there, too. It seems that Jack has put the entire place under surveillance. Including a cop parked at the end of the driveway. Simon: All right, listen, we got to find a way around that, Henry. I really need to talk to her. Henry: All right, well, I wouldn't bother calling her. I'm pretty sure Jack has got the phone lines tapped as well. Why don't you try smoke signals? Simon: All right, I can light the fire, Henry. I just need you to blow the smoke in the right direction.
Carly: Hello? Henry: Hey, Carly. It's Henry. Carly: Oh, my God. Henry: Just listen to me, okay -- Carly: I cannot believe you're calling here! I know what you did. Now, you listen to me. Henry: Uh, you know what? Now, would not be a good time to get into specifics -- Carly: You know what I think of the way you treat people? I think it stinks. And I think it makes you a creep and a lousy friend! Is that non-specific enough for you? Henry: Hey! Now, wait a second. That's not true. I'm trying to help you here, okay? I'm on your side. Carly: Really? Well, that's the last place in the world I would ever want you to be! Now, don't you call here again! Henry: Wait a second, Carly. Carly -- she hung up on me.
Carly: Hello? Henry: Look, please, just give me a chance to explain -- Carly: I'm hanging up now. Henry: No, no, no. You can't. Mimi. Carly: What? Henry: The vase that you bought for the model apartment. You named it Mimi, right? Carly: Yes. Yeah, I remember. How would you know about that? Henry: Well, I know a lot of things. I know that when the vase broke, you were devastated. Carly? Carly: I'm here. Henry: Well, I stumbled across another vase. One I think you'd be interested in. But obviously, I can't bring it to you in person. So, if you would like to meet me at Java, I will bring you a brochure and then you can get in contact with the manufacturer. Carly: Yeah, I'd like that very much. The place isn't the same without it. You said you wanted to meet me at Java? Henry: Yeah, as quickly as possible. It's a much sought-after item. So, I wouldn't want you to miss out.
Henry: It looks like that actually worked. Carly -- well, she didn't hang up on me this time. So, I'll go down to Java and maybe she'll actually show up. Simon: All right, you got the phones? Henry: Yes. I've got the phones. I've got one for you, and I've got one for Carly. And this -- there you go. This way you'll be able to talk as long as you want without fear of rollover charges or wiretapping. Simon: Good, good, good. You're a good man, Henry. Excellent work. Thank you. Henry: I may have not been the world's best private eye, but you got to love the toys. Simon: Okay, listen, after you see Carly, you can just leave me back here alone, you know, give me time to talk to her? Henry: Yeah, is there anything else you need, Simon? Anything else I can do for you? Do you have, like a sword, you need me to throw myself on, huh? Hide me from the police, get me coffee, get a message to Carly, get the hell out of here? You know what? I had to turn down a martini this morning. You're starting to wear on me. Simon: I'm sorry, all right? I hate to do this to you. You know I do. The scary thing is, you're the only person I trust right now. Henry: Gosh, you know, when I dreamed of the time that someone would say those words to me, she didn't look like you. Simon: Yeah, well, I don't want to trust you. I should be stringing you up for selling me out to the cops like that. Henry: Yeah, yeah, fine. Whatever. Okay. I'll give you as much time as I can. Simon: Hey, whoa! Aren't you forgetting something? Henry: I don't know. My spine, my will to say no to you? Simon: Brochure, Henry. Listen, make sure the cop that Jack has following Carly doesn't see the exchange. Henry: That's just insulting. Simon: Look, I'm serious, all right? I don't want Carly to get in any more trouble because of me. Henry: Don't you think we're a little beyond that now? Simon: Just be careful. Henry: Yeah.
Carly: Medium hazel nut, milk, one sugar please. Henry: Oh. Carly: Oh, let me help. Henry: Oh, no please don't. Please don't. I've got it. There you go. Carly: Well, I really appreciate you finding that vase for me. Henry: It sort of found me. Carly: Funny how that happens. Henry: It's always the last place you look. Anyway, I'm glad I could help. For a change. Carly: So am I. That piece -- it has sentimental value. Henry: I'm so sorry that it broke. Something so rare. I hope you can fix it. Carly: Me too. Henry: Well, you've got about 10, 15 minutes before the store opens. Carly: Right, right. Thank you for this, Henry. Henry: Who am I to stand between a woman and her vase?
Henry: "Who's laughing now" in the fourth. That's cute, I like that. "Payback patty" in the fifth. Whoa. Katie: What do you think you're doing? You lied to me, Henry. You're not working today. At least, not as someone's chauffeur. I know that because I've been following you. That's right, I followed you. I want to know what the hell you just said to Carly. Henry: Now, I -- Katie: No, don't even -- don't even think about lying to me, again. 'Cause I know what you said to Carly. There's only one thing you could have told her to get her to run out of here like that. You know where Simon is.
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