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Thursday, January 8, 2004 Katie's plan to make Henry a permanent third wheel for her and Mike doesn't last long, as he leaves them alone at the cottage.
Katie is making the bed in the guest room (who knew that little cottage had 3 bedrooms upstairs?!) for Mike and daydreaming about him. She hears his car drive up and runs downstairs to meet him. He asks her if she's sure she doesn't mind him staying there. She replies, "A three-ton tree crashed into your living room. I'm not gonna let you stay somewhere else. I would never forgive you." "Good. 'Cause there's nowhere else I'd rather be," says Mike. Katie tells him there's plenty of room, and Mike asks, "How much room do we need? It's just you and me." As he starts to get uncomfortably close Henry walks in and Katie pulls him over, saying, "And Henry makes three! Come on over here. We are gonna have a blast."
Katie comes out of the kitchen with a can of coke for each of the boys. She tells them the pizza's in the oven, they should go to the mall and pick out some action-adventure movies. "Sounds great," says Mike. "Sounds like hell," says Henry. At a look from Katie he corrects himself, "The fourth circle of hell, which I believe is very beautiful this time of year. You know, as wonderful and as thrilling as frozen pizza and superheroes sound, I have plans." He puts on his coat and heads for the door. "Where are you going?" asks Katie desperately. "Out. I have a date. And it's gonna be a long, long, long, long night. So you kids have the run of the place. Enjoy yourselves. And if the little romp that I witnessed is any indication, I'm sure that you will. And something should be done with that," says Henry, pointing at Mike's bag on the couch. Mike asks where he should put it and Katie tells him to put it in the guest room, first door on the left at the top of the stairs. Henry points out that it's the room right next to Katie's as Mike heads upstairs with his bag.
Henry tries to leave again but Katie stops him, "Where do you think you're going? I told you, I cannot be left alone with him." "Listen - listen to me. Wait a second, sweetheart. Okay, bubbles? You're ready. I know your head is saying, 'no, no, no, no, no.' But your body is saying 'yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.'" says Henry. Katie says she can't, and Henry tells her she can. "Listen, kid. Simon was a great guy. All right? He was, but - but it's time. You know, you're - you're free. You should...." Henry sniffs and Katie cries, "Oh, my God, the pizza! Stay! Do not go anywhere." She runs into the kitchen as Mike comes downstairs, asking if there's a fire that needs to be put out. Henry laughs and says, "It's funny you should mention that. Okay, we don't have much time. All right? Katie wants me to be the third wheel." Mike, confused, asks why. "Because she's afraid of you. Oh, no, no. She's - she's afraid of herself when she's alone with you," explains Henry. Mike says that's crazy, and Henry says, "All right, shut up. Just listen to me for a second, okay? She's hot, she's single, and she's willing. And there's no better combination of three words in the English language, all right? But just a little piece of advice - back off. Let her take the lead. I know, I know, I know, I know, I know. I know, this is none of my business, but I think the girl deserves a little bit of happiness in her life, and..." Katie calls out for Henry from the kitchen. Henry hurriedly continues his plea, "You don't seem like such a miserable excuse for a human being, so - hell, you might even deserve her. I don't know." Katie calls out again. "All right, okay. This is all you, all right? I'm out of here. Don't blow it!" he adds as he heads out the door.
Today’s episode was directed by Ellen Wheeler and written by Lynn Martin.
Transcripts from TVMegasite Katie: Yes. Oh, don't leave Yes. No! [ Car approaches ] Katie: Mike? Mike: You're sure you don't mind taking me in? Katie: A three-ton tree crashed into your living room. I'm not gonna let you stay somewhere else. I would never forgive you. Mike: Good. 'Cause there's nowhere else I'd rather be. Katie: Well, there's plenty of room. Mike: How much room do we need? It's just you and me. Katie: And Henry makes three! Come on over here. We are gonna have a blast.
Katie: All right. I've got a pizza in the oven, and I was thinking the three of us could go down to the mall, pick out a couple action-adventure movies. It'll be fun. What do you think? Mike: Sounds great. Henry: Sounds like hell. The fourth circle of hell, which I believe is very beautiful this time of year. You know, as wonderful and as thrilling as frozen pizza and superheroes sound, I have plans. Katie: Where are you going? Henry: Out. I have a date. And it's gonna be a long, long, long, long night. So you kids have the run of the place. Enjoy yourselves. And if the little romp that I witnessed is any indication, I'm sure that you will. And something should be done with that. Mike: Oh, that's -- that's mine. Sorry. Is there some place you want this to be? Katie: Oh, yeah. The guest room -- it's the first door on the left at the top of the stairs. Henry: Yeah, it's the room right next to hers. Well -- Katie: Where do you think you're going? I told you, I cannot be left alone with him. Henry: Listen -- listen to me. Wait a second, sweetheart. Okay, bubbles? You're ready. I know your head is saying, "no, no, no, no, no." But your body is saying "yes, yes, yes, yes, yes." Katie: I can't. Henry: Yes, you can. Listen, kid. Simon was a great guy. All right? He was, but -- but it's time. You know, you're -- you're free. You should -- [ Katie sniffs ] Katie: Oh, my God, the pizza! Stay! Do not go anywhere. Mike: Is there something down here on fire, something needs to be put out? [ Henry laughs ] Henry: It's funny you should mention that. Okay, we don't have much time. All right? Katie wants me to be the third wheel. Mike: Why? Henry: Because she's afraid of you. Oh, no, no. She's -- she's afraid of herself when she's alone with you. Mike: That's crazy. Henry: All right, shut up. Just listen to me for a second, okay? She's hot, she's single, and she's willing. And there's no better combination of three words in the English language, all right? But just a little piece of advice -- back off. Let her take the lead. I know, I know, I know, I know, I know. I know, this is none of my business, but I think the girl deserves a little bit of happiness in her life, and -- Katie: Henry! Henry: You don't seem like such a miserable excuse for a human being, so -- hell, you might even deserve her. I don't know. Katie: Henry, I need you. Henry: All right, okay. This is all you, all right? I'm out of here. Don't blow it!
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