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Thursday, January 10, 2008 Today it's Brad's turn to go to Henry for advice. Henry tells him not to push too hard with Katie, and soon Brad doesn't have to because Katie calls him. Today’s episode was directed by Michael Eilbaum and written by Leslie Niplow.
Transcripts from TVMegasite Henry: Good morning, sunshine. What can I getcha? Brad: Table for one. Henry: Okay, here you go. Do you want coffee or just straight hemlock? Brad: Love bites, man. Love bites. Katie's dating other guys. Henry: Well, you two were never officially dating in the first place. Brad: She just never wanted to admit it, Henry. But, you know, things were going great most of the time. Until she met the fireman. Henry: The fireman? Oh I am so sorry. Women love firemen. It's a law of nature or something. Brad: You know, if you're not going to help me, you can leave. Henry: I'm trying to be empathetic here. Brad: I need ideas. Not pity. Henry: What -- what kind of ideas? Brad: I'm not giving Katie up without a fight. Henry: Got it. Okay, I have something in the kitchen I need to take care of -- Brad: No man, no. You can't leave me alone in this condition. Henry: I really do have something -- Brad: I'm freaking out here! No, I need an idea guy. You need to sit your butt down and start brainstorming with me. Now!
Henry: I refuse, Bradley. I will not use another person's identity to stalk Katie in the blogosphere. Brad: See how you just did that? Blogosphere. Identity theft. You're a born cyber-stalker, Henry. Come on. Come on, show me how to start a blog. Henry: No, no, no. You do not want to do this. No. Brad: I am fighting for Katie. Henry: It's not going to do you any good if you end up in Statesville for fraud and god knows what else. Brad: See, that's why I need you. You are so much sneakier than I am. Henry: Read my lips, okay? Do not interfere. If you do, if you do -- Katie won't like it. Ergo, she will not like you. Brad: Did I mention that he was Mr. February? Henry: That's the guy she's dating? Brad: Mm-hmm. Henry: Wow. Yeah, I saw the calendar. Brad, listen to me -- listen to me, Bradley. I've been in your position before, okay? I was in love with Katie. I even managed to marry the girl. She was not into me. Brad: That is you! That is you! Henry: No, no, no, no. That is Katie. That is Katie. No matter how much I -- what I did, how much I loved her, she could not love me back. Some things aren't meant to be. Brad: So what are you saying? Henry: I'm saying that you don't want to push this girl. Brad: Okay, so you think I should play hard to get? Henry: I think you shouldn't play at all! Brad: No, okay, you know what? I like the blog idea. I'm a doer. So let's just start blogging. Henry: No, no, no, no. I will not let you use the internet to perpetrate some kind of crime. No! Brad: Come on, live dangerously, just for once. Henry: I live with Vienna, don't you think that's dangerous enough?
Henry: I think you killed it. Brad: I'll buy you a new one. Henry: What about the files that were on here, brad? Brad: We'll get one of those geeks that rescue the files. Look, this is important. We need to stop Katie from hooking up with Joe the speed dater. I mean, they had breakfast at the Lakeview. What if she takes him upstairs for brunch? Henry: That's not her style. Brad: Oh, yeah? You remember the elevator? Henry: Oh, lord. Do you have to remind me of that? Brad: I've got to get over there. Henry: Wait. No, no, no, no. Brad, brad, hold on. Wait a second. Wait, stop before you break anything else. Brad: Why aren't you taking this serious? You know, forget it. Where's Vienna? She'll know what to do. Henry: She's off today. I'm covering for her. Brad: Then why don't you help me, man? Henry: Why do you want me to help? Why do you want me to help you? I didn't think you guys were right for each other in the first place. Brad: Okay, well opposites attract. Who thought that Vienna the hottie would fall for you, the penniless, poker-playing chauffeur? Henry: I have unplumbed depths, brad. Brad: So do I. Henry: My point is, I did not make Vienna fall in love with me. It happened because it was right. Now, if it's right for you and Katie, it will happen. But you cannot force it. Brad: Okay, the difference is, in our case, Katie's trying to force it not to happen. So I need to do something before Katie rides off on the back of Joe's fire engine. If I don't do something, I'm going to lose her for good.
Henry: Katie, Katie, Katie and a dead guy named Joe? You've got to snap out of it, buddy. You're going to get your heart broken. Brad: I'm gonna get Katie back or I'm gonna die trying. Henry: Yeah, yeah, I've been there, done that. It's no fun. She doesn't want you, brad. Get over it.
[ Cell phone rings ] Brad: It's Katie. Hey, what's going on? Katie: Hey, do you have any free time before we have to go to work? Brad: Yeah, what happened with your date? Katie: That didn't work out. Brad: I'm sorry. Katie: It's okay. But I'm really in the mood to pulverize you at the video game you got me. So you up for that? Brad: You got it. All right, I'll be right over.
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