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Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Despite Simon's warning, Henry convinces Clarissa to let him take part in her con.  He's doing it to help Katie, and Clarissa suspects that what he feels for her is a little more than friendship.

Today’s episode was directed by Habib Azar and written by Susan Dansby.


Transcripts from TVMegasite

Henry: Wait. Why are you leaving? What's wrong? What, you didn't like the Australian accent?

Clarissa: Too subtle.

Henry: Wait -- wait a second. The -- the point is to pretend to be Simon. He hardly has an accent at all anymore.

Clarissa: Well, that just shows you how much you know. He lays it on really thick when he talks to Mr. Lee, because it's all part of the --

Henry: Part -- part of the con? Is that the mark's name, Mr. Lee?

Clarissa: Okay, forget that you ever heard that. I'm not going to settle for you when I can have Simon.

Henry: Yeah, but Simon's not gonna help you.

Clarissa: I'm going to convince him to reconsider.

Henry: Why? Why stake all your planning and all of this preparation on a reluctant partner? Listen, Clarissa, I'm eager, all right? I'm not a reluctant partner. I want in on this.

Clarissa: A very wealthy gentleman is prime to turn over an extremely sizable sum to a Simon Frasier. No Simon Frasier, no extremely sizable sum. I know Simon Frasier, and you, my friend, are no Simon Frasier.

Henry: Wait, listen. You know you can't do this job alone, and you know you're not gonna do it with Simon. Ergo, you need a Simon. Ipso facto, you got me.


Clarissa: What makes you think that you've got what it takes to be Simon Frasier?

Henry: Well, I've done a con or two.

Clarissa: Successfully?

Henry: Oh, yeah.

Clarissa: I'm beginning to think that you might be useful --

Henry: Use me, baby.

Clarissa: In convincing Simon to do the deal with me.

Henry: That's not gonna happen.

Clarissa: Damn it, I need him.

Henry: Well, he's not -- he can't get involved in anything illegal, okay?

Clarissa: Because of his devotion to truth and justice?

Henry: No, because -- because he is on the lam, and he is known in this town. The police are watching him. I, on the other hand, am an upstanding citizen. I am above suspicion. So, let me help you do what you need me to do. Just leave Simon out of it.

Clarissa: You won't get a full cut.

Henry: I'm fine with that.

Clarissa: Let's go somewhere private and talk further.


Clarissa: I'll invite Mr. Lee to lunch.

Henry: Lots of drinks. Loosen him up.

Clarissa: Yes, exactly. And after that, he'll probably want to see the land on which we supposedly construct the buildings. What?

Henry: Uh, uh, just the way you're standing reminds me of my ex.

Clarissa: And what exactly does that have to do with the multimillion-dollar payday of which I peak?

Henry: Nothing, nothing. Not a thing.

Clarissa: Exactly. Focus, please.

Henry: I am focused. Uh, Mr. Lee, food and drink. Uh, field trip to the construction site.

Clarissa: Right. Now, you are going to need to look at the blueprints to familiarize yourself with them. And then we'll go over Mr. Lee's favorite bells and whistles so you can bring it up in conver --

Simon: Clarissa.

Clarissa: Simon -- what is he doing here?

Simon: Uh, what am I doing here? Uh, I'm staying here.

Clarissa: You're roommates? Well, that's convenient.

Henry: Yeah, but he was just leaving. Aren't you, Simon?

Simon: No, I wasn't, not until you tell me what you're doing with her.


Clarissa: Are you jealous?

Simon: No, more like curious. What the hell is going on here?

Clarissa: Well, you left me high and dry with Mr. Lee ready to bite, so I just had to replace you.

Simon: [Laughs] Okay. And did you go looking? Did you volunteer?

Henry: It's more than a job. It's an adventure.

Clarissa: And a very profitable one. I'm gonna go and get the plans, now, so you can look over them. See you later.

Henry: She wouldn't take no for an answer.

Simon: No, no, no, no, no. I do not care. Drop out. Tell her you changed your mind.

Henry: I can't.

Simon: Why not?

Henry: Because she'd be all over you. This way, the job gets done, she leaves town, and you can focus on Katie.

Simon: She doesn't want me anywhere near her. That whole thing -- I'm wasting my time.

Henry: What are you telling me? You're just giving up?

Simon: No, I'm giving her some space. That's exactly what she needs right now.

Henry: What, are you nuts? No, no! If Katie pulls back, you've got to crowd her. You've got to crowd her with love!

Simon: Okay, mate, mate, off-topic, by the way, remember? Now, tell me what you were thinking, getting involved with Clarissa?

Henry: I was thinking of you. I was thinking of all the hard work you've done to prove yourself to Katie. You can't let Clarissa blow that.

Simon: I can handle her.

Henry: This way, you won't have to. If she accepts me as a substitute for you, the job gets done, and she leaves, mission accomplished.

Simon: You're a good friend.

Henry: Yeah, well, walk on the wild side -- that's in my playbook. [Laughs] Just, uh, good luck with Katie, huh?

Simon: It'll kill her if anything happens to you, and then she'll kill me, okay? So just watch your back.

Henry: Always.

Simon: And be prepared to cut and run if anything -- anything goes wrong.

Henry: Like a gazelle.


Clarissa: This one -- the cut is more European.

Henry: Uh, which?

Clarissa: Oh --

[Henry sighs]

Clarissa: What?

Henry: No one's picked out a tie for me since my girlfriend left.

Clarissa: Well, don't get any ideas. This is strictly professional, yes?

Henry: Yes, yes, yes. Of course it's professional. Cufflinks?

Clarissa: Yeah, let me see what you have. So, um, tell me about this woman that Simon gave it all up for.

Henry: Katie?

Clarissa: What makes her so special?

Henry: What did Simon tell you?

Clarissa: That she was work.

Henry: Yeah, yeah. She is that. She's also, uh, amazing and adorable. She's smart. She's very funny. Did I mention adorable?

Clarissa: Is that why your girlfriend left you?

Henry: What? What are you talking about?

Clarissa: Well, you know what? I -- I was trying to figure out why you would want in on a con with somebody you barely know. It wasn't for the money.

Henry: I have my reasons.

Clarissa: Yes, you do. Yes, you do. And -- and she's funny, smart, and ooh, did you mention adorable? Please.


Henry: You're -- you're being ridiculous.

Clarissa: And you protest too much.

Henry: Katie is a friend.

Clarissa: Oh, right.

Henry: Yes, right. And, I'm very protective of her because she's been through a lot lately.

Clarissa: Oh, yeah, and you really enjoy helping her cope.

Henry: Simon will make her happy.

Clarissa: Only Simon?

Henry: I thought you said we need to focus on that meeting tomorrow.

Clarissa: Are you focused, Henry?

Henry: Like a laser. So, let's get back to work. I need to practice that accent.


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