Henry Recaps

Thursday, January 16, 2003

After almost a month, Henry returns to our screens today. Mike is at Java Underground to meet Jack for a drink when Henry walks in with a red-headed woman. Henry is trying to explain something to her and she squeals, "I'm done buyin' what you're sellin'!" Henry asks her to keep the decibel level below stadium level. "I want my money, Henry!" she demands. Henry responds that they all do, but "the bears are running and the bulls are out to pasture." He tells her to look around and see all the has-beens in the bar, "misery loves company, sweetheart." He asks her how she tracked him down, er... found him, and asks the bartender for "two martinis, and don't spare the gin." Henry tries to talk her out of her demands for money, saying, "Why are we arguing over spilled mutual funds, when what we should be doing..." He spies Mike sitting at the bar and glaring at him, and suggests to his friend that they leave.

Mike starts to approach Henry and he toasts him, saying, "Here's to short memories and long life. Hope everything's OK with the little woman." "Give me one reason not to rearrange your face," demands Mike. "That Picasso thing is so overrated," says Henry. Mike grabs him and accuses him of messing with his life for a few lousy bucks. "Be careful, that tie is pure silk!" begs Henry. "Good, I hope they bury you in it!" threatens Mike.

Henry's friend decides it's a good time to get out of there. "I'm glad she left," says Henry, "I wouldn't want her to see me beg for mercy, which I do very well. Would you like a sample?" Mike points out that Henry didn't show him or Molly any mercy, he would trash anyone's life for a price. "Not any price," clarifies Henry. Mike tells him he's had this coming for a long time, and warns him not to mess with Molly again. "Molly who? Or is it whom? I never can tell," quips Henry, trying to lighten the mood.

Fortunately Jack walks in and pulls Mike off Henry. "What the hell is going on here? Why are you wasting your time with this wannabe?" "That guy is scum!" says Mike angrily. Jack agrees but adds that he's not worth spending a night in jail. "Don't worry, slugger, I won't press charges," says Henry, suddenly brave. Mike goes after him again but Jack stops him. "C'mon, what the hell is going on here?" Jack asks again. Mike says they have unfinished business, and Jack asks Henry what business. "Ask him. I was just minding my own business when a drink turned into fight night at Vegas with me as the main event," answers Henry. "Do yourself a favor, Henry, get the hell out of here," suggests Jack. "My pleasure," says Henry. "And hey, Mike, you might want to lay off the protein shakes." He leaves and Mike says he should've decked him. Jack asks why, and Mike asks why not. Jack offers to lean on him, but Mike tells him to forget it and drink his beer.

Today’s episode was directed by Greg Saccaro and written by Judith Donato.

Transcripts from TV Megasite

Mike: Need a couple beers. Meeting a friend.
Henry: I know that, precious. I have another investment --
Redhead: Save it, Henry! I'm done buyin' what you're selling!
Henry: All right, can we just keep the volume, the decibels down to below stadium level, please?
Redhead: I want my money, Henry!
Henry: I know, I know, I know. We all do. But the bears are running, and the bulls are out to pasture, sweetie. Look around you here. You've got plenty of company. This place is full of has-beens and coulda-beens and almost and were oh-so-close-to-millionaires. Misery loves company, sweetheart. Um -- tell me, how exactly did you track me down -- find me? Hey, two martinis, please. Don't spare the gin. Binky, binky, here you go. Why are we sitting here arguing over spilled mutual funds, huh? When what we really should be doing -- you know, this place really is starting to attract the dregs. I -- I know a private little place we can go to that you will simply adore.

Henry: Here's to short memories and long life. Hope everything's okay with the little woman. Please tell me you're still taking those tae kwon do classes, huh? Hey, you know what? The next beer's on me. Mike, you know what? I went by the new burn unit and, man, do you have a way with a cement mixer or what?
Mike: Give me one good reason why I shouldn't rearrange your face.
Henry: Um -- you know, that Picasso thing is so overrated.
Mike: You messed up my life for a few lousy bucks!
Henry: You know, be careful here. That tie is pure silk.
Mike: Good. I hope they bury you in it.
Henry: Um --
Redhead: See you around, Henry! Well, maybe.
Henry: Well, I'm so glad she left. Because I didn't want her to see me begging for mercy.
Which I do very well, by the way. Would you like a sample of that?
Mike: Did you give me or Molly any mercy? Huh? You'd trash anyone's life for a price, wouldn't you?
Henry: No, not just any price.
Mike: But you've had this coming for a long time.
Henry: Wait a minute, Mike, okay?
Mike: Don't ever mess with Molly again.
Henry: Molly who? Or is it whom? You know, I never can tell.
Mike: You know what? You tried to ruin my life.
Henry: What do you mean, ruin --
Jack: Hey, hey, hey! What the hell's going on here?! Why would you waste your time with this wannabe?

Jack: What the hell was that all about?
Mike: That guy is scum.
Jack: Yeah, exactly. Don't let him cost you a night in jail.
Henry: Don't worry, slugger. I won't press charges.
Jack: Hey, mike, come on! What the hell is goin' on?
Mike: A little unfinished business here is all.
Jack: What business, Henry?
Henry: Oh, ask him. I was just minding my own business when a drink turns into fight night at Vegas with me as the main event.
Jack: Here. Do yourself a favor, Henry. Get the hell out of here.
Henry: My pleasure. And, hey, Mike, might want to lay off the protein shakes, huh?
Mike: I shoulda decked that guy.
Jack: Why?
Mike: Why not?
Jack: Listen, I'm not a huge fan of Henry Coleman's, either. If you want me to, I can lean on him.
Mike: No, thanks. I can handle it. Drink your beer, all right? Forget about Henry.

Previous Recap Back to Recap Page Next Recap