01-18-01

 

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Thursday, January 18, 2001 

Well, Katie asked for Henry's help in coming up with a plan to keep Simon, and today she got it!  Henry suggested she tell Simon she's pregnant, and desperate Katie agreed. 

The conversation between Henry and Katie in the garage continues from yesterday's show.  Henry had just told Katie he has an idea, so she asks him, "You've got some brilliant idea?  You mind telling me about it? How do I stop Simon from pining after Lily and get him to realize what's right in front of him?"  Thinking that sounds awfully familiar, Henry asks, "Did I not hear that same desperate plea not too long ago?  'Oh, Henry, how can I get Holden to want me more than Lily?'  What is it with you, are guys just interchangeable?"  "You don't really have any suggestions for me, do you, you just enjoy torturing me."  Finally Henry shares his plan with her.  "OK, OK, ummm...  Are you listening?  I can guarantee domestic... well, bliss would be asking too much.  I can guarantee that your husband will not stray if you can answer me one question.  Is there any chance that you could be pregnant?" he asks, with a smirk on his face.  Katie seems shocked, "How stupid do you think I am?"  Henry retorts, "On a scale of one to ten?"  Katie patiently explains that if she were pregnant, she wouldn't be worrying about how to keep Simon.  "Miss the point, why don't you.  You don't have to actually be pregnant Katie, there just has to be the possibility that you could be.  In other words, is it all longing looks like it was with Holden, or has Mr. Down Under actually been down under?"  Of course, explains Katie defensively, they're married.  "Yeah, well forgive me for not recognizing the signs of a true love match.  All you have to do is tell him that mama kangaroo has got a little joey in her pouch."  Katie seems confused and asks, "What?"  "You've got a bun in the oven.  A tiger in your tank."  Katie continues to give him that blank look and Henry tells her, "You've gotta get out more, Katie."  Katie says she understands, that if she tells Simon she's pregnant he'll probably stick around.  Henry agrees, saying, "Mr. Frasier strikes me as the, ah... excuse me as I gag, the noble type. [Henry twangs the guitar for emphasis.]  and noble types always do the right thing in these sorts of situations, even if it's killing them.  That's what makes them such easy marks."  Katie protests, saying, "For you, maybe, but I'm nothing like you."  "No, of course not, you would never lie or cheat or connive to get anything."  Katie agrees that she will lie one more time, but after that she will swear off lying for good and make Simon so happy he'll forget all about Lily.  She looks at a calendar and says she'll just have to convince Simon she's 2 1/2 months pregnant and didn't know. Henry says, "You don't have to make yourself that pregnant.  Or do you? Do you mean to tell me that it's been nearly 2 1/2 months since you've been to bed with your so-called husband?  Oh you poor thing!"  Katie tells him not to feel sorry for her, that that night was the most amazing night of her life.  "That night?  That one night?" asks Henry in disbelief.  Katie snaps back, "At least I've had one night which is more than I can say for you."  Henry asks Katie to take a good look at herself.  She's slept with Simon once and now she's maneuvering to keep him married to her.  Henry asks the question we've all been thinking, "How desperate are you?" 

Thinking his work is done, Henry tells Katie, "As much as I'd love to hear the tidbits of your special relationship, I've gotta get going." Katie stops him, saying, "No, no, not so fast, buster!"  She tells him she needs his help pulling if off, including getting a doctor.  With that devious smile on his face Henry says, "I love to play doctor, but I don't think anyone's going to buy me as an MD.  You're going to have to hire your own quack."  "From where?  I'm sure they're not listed in the yellow pages under Q." Again she asks for his help.  Henry turns her down, saying, "I can't help you, sorry kid.  The team of Coleman and Peretti has had its last hurrah.  You're on your own."  Katie reminds him about Chris' investigation, and that he asked Katie to help him avoid it.  "It doesn't look like today is the day to say no to Katie, is it Henry?"  Henry agrees and tells her he'll get back to her with the doctor.  "Just someone who will, umm, look the other way.  Oh and Henry, thanks for stopping by.  On a scale of one to ten, you're off the charts!"  Henry gives her a fake smile and leaves. 

Later when Simon comes home, ready to call off the marriage, Katie does what Henry told her to do.  She makes Simon believe she is pregnant and he doesn't end the marriage... yet.

 

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