Thursday, February 1, 2001
In today's show, Henry dresses up as a pregnant woman to
help Katie with her fake pregnancy scheme.
Katie and Simon walk into a doctor's office in Peoria.
The waiting room is empty except for a woman reading the newspaper. The
office is shabby and 
dirty, and Simon has a hard time believing Katie would see
a doctor in such a place, saying, "You won't even step into the loo at the
garage without a wetsuit and gloves." Katie insists that it's not
that bad, last time she was there it was overflowing with people and she didn't
even notice the mess. Simon tries to convince her to see a doctor in
Oakdale but Katie says she doesn't want her family to try to run her pregnancy.
Simon's not convinced, saying, "This place looks like a breeding ground for
every mutated virus since the black plague!" The woman behind the
newspaper interrupts them, saying, "I hope you don't
mind, I couldn't help
overhearing. Don't be fooled. Modest facilities, true, but they
don't make them like Dr. Early any more. He's the answer to a mother's
prayers." Katie looks shocked, she recognizes the woman as none other
than Henry! But Simon doesn't seem to notice the similarity.
"Henrietta" is wearing a short black wig, glasses, and a denim dress
with a flowered cardigan. He/she goes on to say that Dr. Early is more
than a doctor, he's like a member of the family. She's recommended him to
all of her friends, and there's "not a disappointed mama in the
bunch." "You don't say," says Simon. 
The woman tells
them that the first time she and her husband came into the office, they were
"as nervous as you two seem to be." The office may not be the
best, but she as soon as she met him knew that Dr. Early was right for her.
Simon asks if he's delivered her other children and she says, "All four of
my little angels!" Simon asks her if the condition of the office
bothers her and she responds, "Oh, honey, talk to me after your fourth.
Trust me, nothing bothers this mama any more."
Katie asks Simon to take her coat and he leaves to hang it
up. Katie goes over to Henry and says, "Do you have any idea how scary you
look, Henry?" Still in character, Henry complains about swollen
ankles, "Enjoy those lovely little pumps as long as you can, honey, because
by the ninth month it is Birkenstocks and orthopedic loafers." Katie
asks if he's talked to the doctor and gotten everything set up. In his
normal voice, Henry asks, "Have I ever let you down before?"
"Let me count the ways." "Well you better count five
hundred samolions." Katie tells him that she doesn't have five
hundred of anything right now. Henry says that he warned her, "He's not
going to compromise his hypocratic oath just for the fun of it."
Katie seems shocked that he even took an oath, judging by the state of his
office. "Well, look who's become a choosy little beggar."
Katie says she just hasn't time to come up with the money. "Oops, I
guess you're fresh out of luck then."
Simon returns and motions Katie to sit by him. In a
hushed voice Katie tells Henry to do something. Henrietta says, "Oh,
don't mind me, you go join your
handsome husband. I can think of a lot of
women who'd love to steal that one away! Nothing like a baby to seal the
deal, I always say." Katie goes to sit by Simon and he asks her what
that was all about. She says it was just girl talk, and he again tries to
convince her to see a doctor in Oakdale. Katie agrees that next time Simon
can pick the doctor, after all, marriage is all about compromise.
Henrietta gets a call on her cell phone and gets up to
leave, saying, "That was 
home, i've got to go." Katie tries to
stop her, she hasn't even seen the doctor yet. The woman says she'll
reschedule, one of her kids is sick and she needs to go. Katie again tells
her not to leave, they were just starting to get to know each other, and she was
hoping to get some advice. "You'll do just fine. Now don't
go
hog wild when it comes time to get maternity clothes, OK? Be selective,
comfort, that should be the first consideration. And get yourself a
haircut. I just had mine done. I told my girl, I said, 'Make me look
like Barbara from one of my favorite stories.' What do you think?"
Simon agrees that it looks nice, and Katie says that she has so many more
questions. 
"That's what Dr. Early is for. Maternity wear,
section B, take a look," she says, pointing to the newspaper. "It's what every new mother needs. And you spoil her rotten, she deserves
it." Simon nods and wishes her luck. She says that she doesn't
need luck, she has Dr. Early, and leaves the office. Simon points after
her and says, "well, talk about the effect of mutated viruses!"
The doctor comes out, saying it's nice to meet
Mr. Frasier and good to see Mrs.
Frasier again. Katie tries to stall because she's afraid of what the
doctor will say when she doesn't have the money. She remembers what Henry
said and grabs the paper out of another woman's hands. She finds the money
he left for her and mutters, "Oh, thank you Henry." She goes
into the examination room with the doctor and Simon, who seems to be satisfied
that Katie is really pregnant. Henry's plan is working, so far.
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