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Tuesday, March 6, 2007 Katie tries to convince Henry that Vienna doesn't really love him; that she's just using him. But Henry tells Katie that he deserves to have fun and be happy for a change, with someone who wants him, however long it may last. Today’s episode was directed by Jennifer Pepperman and written by Elizabeth Page.
Transcripts from TVMegasite Katie: You're in love? Vienna: Yes, truly, madly, deeply in love. Katie: Really? Since when? Vienna: Tell her, liebchen. Tell her how much we love each other. Katie: Well, you obviously don't know anything about Henry, because if you did, you would know that he can't stand to have his ears touched, he's very sensitive. Vienna: Yes, I know that. Katie: Don't pay attention to her, Henry. She's obviously lost touch with reality. The stress of her royal ex suing her for every penny she's ever had has sent her over the edge. Henry: Katie, Katie -- Katie: What? And don't worry about letting her down gently. The girl was built to bounce. Henry: That's enough. Katie: Yes, it is enough. Get your tongue out of his ear, you skank. Henry: Hey, hey! You're talking to my girlfriend!
Katie: Your girlfriend? Vienna: Mon amor. We're lovers. Katie: You're lovers? Henry: What's so funny? Katie: Nothing. Nothing's funny. I'm just a little surprised. Somehow, I don't see the two of you having a lot in common. Henry: Sometimes, opposites attract, Katie. Vienna: Henry and I are made for each other. He knows me without even trying. He knows everything. Katie: Except how to get himself out of something he shouldn't have gotten himself in in the first place. Vienna: Oh, she's jealous. But then I knew this would happen. Katie: Jealous? Vienna: Yes, you're afraid that now that Henry loves me, he won't care about you anymore. But you're his best friend. And I'm sure he'll keep a tiny little spot in his heart for you. Besides, now you have me. And you'll see, it'll be just like having a younger, prettier, little sister. Henry: Don't you have those lawyers to talk to, sweetie? Vienna: Yes, darling. You talk to Katie and I'll go get the papers. Henry: Okay. Katie: What papers? Vienna: Proof of my devotion to your dearest, oldest friend. Henry: Careful. Don't hurt those legs. Katie: Hey, snap out of it. Henry: Give me one good reason why I should. Katie: She has you wrapped around her finger, or this is one of your schemes. Which one is it? Henry: Not guilty as charged. Katie: Henry, you're talking to your ex-wife and your soon to be ex-best friend. Henry: Oh, come on. We'll always be best friends, Bubbles. Katie: Not unless you don't start telling me what's going on. Henry: There's nothing going on. Katie: No, nothing going on? Henry: No. Katie: Canoodling with the cannoli? Henry: I think she's Swedish. Katie: She's a barracuda. Henry: Yeah. Katie: Henry? Yesterday she was going to be deported. She was freaking out thinking that she would have change her identity and disappear forever. And now she's licking your ear and talking about making it legal? Henry: Legal? What legal? Oh, you mean the papers and the lawyer, yeah. Katie: I mean, what happened between now and then? Besides that. Henry: I don't know. I don't know, Bubbles. I guess -- I guess she just got me.
Henry: After I sign the papers -- Katie: Wait, wait, hold on. You're telling me that after one night in the limo -- Henry: And a morning. Katie: I've been in the limo, Henry. Yes, it makes the earth move, because it's on wheels. Henry: You're jealous. Katie: I'm not jealous. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make that sound like it was an insult, you are an amazing lover, but -- Henry: Oh, that's big of you to throw me that crumb. Katie: I'm just trying to point out that it's a little weird, don't you think? She's signing her entire fortune over to you based on sex. Henry: It's not just sex. She trusts me. Katie: She's using you. Henry: Of course she's using me, and I'm using her. With all that money, I can take care of a little outstanding debt, and then I'll still be on top of the world financially. Plus, she's fun and it doesn't hurt my image to walk into the casino with a woman like that on my arm. Katie: And how long is this going to last? Henry: As long as it lasts. A month, a week, a day, as long as she needs me. Katie: Yeah, and what happens when she doesn't need you, Henry? Henry: Ciao, bella. Katie: I thought she was Swedish. Does it bother you that there's an entire country that's suing her? Henry: Oh, it's a small country. Katie: Who could end up suing you -- Henry: Not if they can't prove fraud. We genuinely like each other, Katie. Katie: The only genuine thing about that woman is her nerve. Henry: I wouldn't take that bet if I were you. Katie: Stop smiling like that! Henry: Oh, I see what's bothering you. I'm happy. Katie: No, Henry, I want you to be happy. Just not with her. Henry: Why not? Katie: Because she's going to use you and dump you and leave you with a bunch of problems. Henry: Or maybe, just maybe, after everything's she's been through, she is looking for someone like me, Katie. A nice person. A kind person. Someone who knows how to have fun, and yes, can make her toes curl. And what is it to you? If just for once, I get to feel a little less overlooked and a lot less lonely? Katie: I am lonely and lost, too, Henry. I'm just trying to let you know that -- I'm trying to change, you know, I don't want to keep making the same mistakes. And you shouldn't either. I don't want to go for the first thing that comes my way -- Henry: Right, you're lonely, Katie, that's a joke. You're lonely? You know what? As soon as you get over feeling sorry for yourself, the men will be lining up at your door. Katie: I am not feeling sorry for myself. I just want you to know that I know how you feel. I'm with you. Henry: No, you're not. No, you're not. You're not me, you're even close to me. You're a gorgeous blonde, you've got this great TV job, and you got a whole big family that loves you. Katie: Well, you have me and Maddie. Henry: I have you and Maddie. Now I have Vienna. Katie: Damn it, Henry, she's not worth the risk! Henry: Who is worth the risk? Do you see a lot of people lining up to claim me? Do you? Vienna: Here they are, my darling. Sign on this line and then everything that is mine will be yours. Katie: Don't do it, Henry. Vienna: Will you stop being such a party pooper? Sign the papers and let's go be happy.
Katie: Please don't do this, Henry. Vienna: Why not? Henry, what did she tell you? Henry: She gave me some advice on how to make a good decision. Thank you, Katherine. Vienna: You're rich, my darling, filthy rich. This calls for more champagne. Will you join us, Katie? Katie: I can't. Good-bye, Henry.
Vienna: To you, my darling. Henry: We already toasted to me. Twice. Vienna: Well, three's a charm. You're unhappy. Henry: Me? What are you, kidding -- no, I'm delirious. My banker's going to have a coronary over this, I think. And thanks to you, we get to have this really wonderful champagne. Vienna: But you barely touched it. Henry: Right, so, bottoms up. Vienna: No, no, no. Look at me. Henry, you can't fool me. I know you. You know, you're unhappy because your so-called best friend Katie made you feel bad. Henry: No, I'm not -- Vienna: No, yes, she said terrible things about me and she told you not to sign the papers, but you did anyway, and she got angry and stormed off like a little child. Henry: Yeah. That about covers it. Vienna: Well, you mustn't let her ruin this moment for us. No, she'll get over it. When she realizes that I really, truly love you. Henry: Maybe. Vienna: Okay, I'll go talk to her. Henry: No, no, no, sit down. No, you can't do that. Just let her calm down. Vienna: Okay. Henry: Are you okay? Did you have too much champagne? Vienna: Oh, I'm drunk -- Henry: Oh. Vienna: On your touch. Oh Henry, I need you. I want you, right now. Henry: Okay, if you want me right now. Fine.
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