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Thursday, March 12, 2009 The baby-making has officially begun and Henry feels a bit left out in the cold. Today’s episode was directed by Jennifer Pepperman and written by Gordon Rayfield.
Transcripts from TVMegasite [Henry thinking] Katie: Okay, Vienna, that's right. Breathe! Oh, you're doing great! Vienna: It's coming! I can feel it! Katie: Okay! One more push! Vienna: I want Henry to catch it! Henry: What me? [Vienna breathing heavily] Vienna: Yeah, please! I want you to be a part of it! It would mean the world to me! Henry: No, no, no. We need like a doctor or nurse or something like that! [Vienna grunting] Katie: Oh, we don't have time for that now! Henry: Yeah, but, but -- Katie: Do it! Henry: You know, okay, okay, what do I do? Katie: Catch it when it pops out. Henry: That's it? Katie: Yes! But make sure it doesn't slip through your fingers! Henry: Okay, okay, okay! Okay. I'm ready! Katie: Okay, Vienna! Push! Vienna: I'm pushing! [Vienna grunting] Brad: Whoo! Hello, sucker! [Henry screaming] Vienna: Henry. Henry: What? Vienna: What's wrong? Henry: What? What? Vienna: I'm ready. Henry: For what? Vienna: To go to the hospital. Henry: Okay. Um, I'll see you later. Vienna: You don't want to go with me? You don't want to be there when Brad gets me pregnant? Henry: Of course I do. Where else would I want to be? Vienna: Well then, let's go. Let's go.
Katie: Hey! You're here! Oh, I don't know how we are ever going to thank you. And you, too. Henry: I'm just the chaperone. Vienna: So what do we do now? Brad: We find a doctor. All right. We'll be right back. Vienna: Okay. Henry: It's not too late to change your mind. Vienna: Why would I do that? Henry: Oh, I don't know, uh, morning sickness? Swollen feet? Walrus waddle? Vienna: Well, you're forgetting the enormous breasts. Henry: Yeah, well, there's good and bad in everything, I suppose. Vienna, look, I still don't understand how you can have his child in you for nine months, and then just give it away. Vienna: Why do you keep harping on that? Henry: Because you're about to do something really huge, and I just want to make sure you don't have any doubts. Vienna: I don't have doubts, but clearly you do. I think, once -- once I get pregnant, and you'll see how happy everyone is, you'll get over it. Henry: Let's -- let's hope so. Vienna: Listen, if you want us to back out, this is your last chance to say so. Henry: We promised Brad and Katie. Vienna: No, they'll understand if you can't make yourself go through with it. But this is the time to speak up -- or forever hold your peace. Katie: Okay, what's wrong?
Katie: Is there a problem? Vienna: Henry? Is there? Katie: It's okay. I think it's perfectly natural for you to have second thoughts. I mean, what we're asking you to do is huge. So, if you can't handle it, we'll call it off. We don't want anything to happen to our relationship. Henry: Doubts? Second thoughts? Moi? Brad: You sure about this, bud? 'Cause I'm with Katie. You know, the friendship, it's more important. Henry: You know what your problem is, you two can't take yes for an answer. Vienna: Well, we just want to make sure that you're being perfectly honest with us. Henry: Okay, um, to be brutally honest with you. Uh, yes, I've had doubts, a million doubts, a billion doubts. I mean, who wouldn't? Brad: Well, we all would. Henry: I mean, the love of my life is about to carry another man's baby. I just -- I just think that what we're doing is wonderful. And Vienna's being incredibly generous. Brad: Amen to that. Henry: I think this will bring us closer together. And so I'm fully on board. Okay? Katie: We could not have two better friends. Nurse: Ms. Hyatt, we're ready for you. Vienna: This is it. Henry: Yeah. Nurse: These are for you, Mr. Snyder. Katie: Oh, you're going to have fun. Brad: No magazines necessary. Just -- Katie: Why, are you going to think of me? Brad: Of course. Nurse: You sure you don't want the magazines, just in case? Brad: Look, I've never had trouble before. All right, this is it. Let's set out to sea, men. Katie: So, Henry -- anything new?
Katie: Thank you, Henry. Thank you so much. I know you're not crazy about all this, but I appreciate you letting us do this. Henry: You're just lucky I'm crazy about you. Brad: Uh, hey, can you come over here just for a second? There seems to be a problem. Katie: Oh, you want me to get you the magazines? Brad: No, no, no, that's not it. Just the whole business. I don't know why, but it's not working.
Henry: Is there a problem? Brad: No, everything is fine. Everything is fine. Couldn't be better. Henry: Okay. So, what's the hold-up? Brad: There isn't any hold-up. Henry: Uh -- Brad: Uh, no. That's not what I meant. Katie: Please, Henry. This is hard enough. Henry: Well, then there shouldn't be a problem. Katie: You know all those nice things I just said about you, I take them back. Henry: Okay, all right, I'm going. Brad.
Brad: Mission accomplished. Katie: The nurse just took the sample to be washed. Henry: Why washed? Vienna: Well, they have to wash the sperm because -- Henry: Never mind. Never mind. Doctor: We're ready. Henry: Okay, well, I guess we should leave them to their work. Vienna: No! I want everyone here. Henry: Shouldn't this be a private moment? Vienna: No. We're all in this together. We're ready. Henry: No, we're not. Vienna: Well, Henry. Henry: Um, you. I need you to come over here. And turn this way. And stand right like this. And don't move, okay? Um, okay, we're ready. Doctor: Now you might feel some cramping when I introduce the syringe. Vienna: Okay, doctor, if it's okay, um, I'd like Henry to do it. Henry: What? Vienna: If anyone's going to inject me, it should be you. Doctor: This is a medical procedure. Vienna: Please, doctor. Brad: Swim for it, boys! Henry: Oh, would you please. [Tray hits the floor] Vienna: Oh! Henry: I'm so sorry. Katie: It's okay. It's okay. We'll just do it again. Brad: Excuse me? Katie: You'll be fine. You can do it. Brad: Not without you, I can't. Let's go. Excuse me.
Vienna: It was an accident. Right? Henry: What? Vienna: Just tell me that you didn't knock the tray on purpose. Henry: Of course not. I would never consciously do something like that. Vienna: What do you mean? Henry: I can't be responsible for my subconscious. Vienna: Oh, I just wish I knew what has gotten you so scared. Henry: I don't want to lose you. Vienna: Why would you lose me? Henry: You're having another man's baby. Vienna: Oh, it's a medical procedure. It's not a love affair. You shouldn't be jealous. Henry: What, of Brad? Of course not. Vienna: Then what? Henry: The baby. Vienna: You're jealous of the baby? Henry: I think I am. Yeah. I think I am. Vienna: Well, it's not even born yet. Henry: I know. I know, sweetie, but -- when it's growing in you, you're going to be spending so much attention on it, how can I expect you to have any leftover for me? Vienna: Oh, Henry. Nothing will ever replace you in my heart. Nothing. Brad: We're ready! Doctor: And can I make a suggestion? This time let me do it, alone? Vienna: That's a good idea. Henry: Yeah. Brad: That means you, slippery Pete. Katie: Good luck.
Brad: The doctor said we could go. It's celebration time. Katie: Whoo! Henry: Oh, hey, that's my idea of a celebration. Balloons and cupcakes. Vienna: Well, I'm starving. I don't know why I have this craving for sugar, but I do. Henry: Sweetheart, sweetheart, you can't be pregnant yet. You know. Vienna: Well, why not? Maybe little Sven or Inga is already down there. Katie: Sven or Inga? Brad: Wait, Vienna, you do know that you don't get to choose the name of the baby, right? Vienna: Why not? I'm going to carry this baby for nine months. I want to be able to talk to her. Brad: Yeah, I mean, of course you do. Vienna: Then when she's born you can name her whatever you want, but I need to call her something. Brad: I know. I know. Vienna, but -- Katie: Brad, no, I think it's really great that Vienna wants to talk to our baby. It's part of her body right now, and so she can call it Sven, or Inga, or whatever she wants. Brad: You sure? Katie: Positive. Henry: Well that's settled, let's get out of here. Katie: Oh, wait, here, let me help you up. Brad: Yeah, here. Vienna: I'm fine. Brad: Oh no! Not when you might be walking for two. Vienna: Mm-hmm. Okay.
Vienna: Guys, come on. I'm not sick, you know. Katie: I know. But the doctor said you shouldn't move anymore than you have to, just for a little while. Brad: Yeah, give my boys a chance to close the deal. Henry: Oh, can we put an end to the metaphors, please? Vienna: Oh, come on, there's nothing to worry about. Oh, it's happening, Katie. I know it. You want to feel? Katie: Oh, yes, I would love to. Okay this might just be the power of suggestion, but I actually feel something. Henry: That would take some awfully big molecules. Brad: Well, this is my boys we're talking about. Sorry. Sorry. Vienna: Brad? Brad? Don't you want to feel your baby, too? Katie: Yes, yes, yes. Brad: Okay. Henry: Yeah, why not? Sure. Go on. Katie: Can you feel it? Brad: You know what? I think I do. Vienna: Oh, Henry? Come on. Come on. Henry: Can't say I feel a thing. Katie: We should all say a prayer. Brad: Do you mind if I do it? Do you mind if I do it? Vienna: Oh, good. Brad: Please. Can I do it? Vienna: Go ahead. Brad: Okay, this for you, Sven or Inga. Um, you have nine months to get here. So, I want you to read lots of books, study for your SATs, and put all your pieces in the right places. And may god deliver you to us, safe, healthy and happy. Vienna: Oh. Katie: Amen. Vienna: Amen. Brad: Amen.
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