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Tuesday, March 13, 2001 In today’s show, Henry is down and out at Yo’s.
He’s scruffy and tired looking, with no tie and an open collar.
His good friend Katie joins him and offers him a chance to help her
scheme, in exchange for a little something for Henry. Katie is seen at the garage leaving yet another message for
Henry, telling him, “I need you, your favorite words if I remember
correctly.” She tells him that
she needs his help digging up a little dirt on a friend, and just at that
moment, Simon walks in and overhears her. He
asks her whom she was talking to and about, and Katie makes up a story about old
friends from high school. Simon
doesn’t believe it, and observes that there has only been one friend showing
up lately. “That slick character,
your buddy the drag queen. You
know, that pregnant bloke from the doctor’s office in Peoria.” Katie says she hasn’t seen Henry in ages, and Simon warns
her that his life is off limits. Craig
walks in in the middle of their discussion, asking, “Trouble in fossil fuel
paradise?” He says that he wants
to speak to Simon alone, and Katie leaves. Henry is at the bar at Yo’s, looking through the want
ads. “Dirty martini, if you
please,” he says to the bartender. “I
think old Ogden Nash said it best, didn’t he?”
At the blank stare from the bartender he continues, “Not familiar with
Mr. Nash, are we? ‘There is
something about a martini, a tingle remarkably pleasant.
Yellow mellow martini, I wish I had one at present.’”
Henry looks rather pleased with himself but the bartender doesn’t seem
to care. He pours out the martini
and Henry asked, “What is that? A dirty martini is not a martini served in a dirty glass.
It’s not poured and splashed, it’s constructed.
It’s chilled liquor, a chilled glass, it’s sleek, it’s smooth,
it’s understated, and above all, it’s served in the appropriate, and I
can’t stress this enough, clean glass! And
don’t get me started on this miserable excuse for an olive.”
The bartender observes that “this ain’t the Lakeview, it’s Yo’s! You want the martini or what?”
Henry answers, “It’s satisfactory, for the time being.
When in Yo’s.” He takes a drink and makes a face. Apparently it’s not up to his high standards. Katie walks into Yo’s and sees Henry sitting at the bar.
She goes up to him and says, “Ooh, classifieds, huh?
Or are you checking for your name in the obituaries, you look like death! Oh, how the mighty have fallen.”
Henry looks none too happy to see her and responds, “Well if it isn’t
Katie Peretti Frasier, the woman who still owes me 500 bucks, who only smiles
when she thinks it’ll get her what she wants.
Why don’t you take it somewhere else, huh?” Katie tells him, “Don’t be so cranky!” He pushes her away, saying, “What is that?
I have a right to be, I give and I give and I give to you, and what do
you do? You turn your back to me in
my time of need. Go away.”
“Well I’m here now, aren’t I?
I’m sorry, Henry, this is a really rough time for me.”
Henry is unsympathetic, “Yeah, yeah, I hear that’s the toughest part
of a marriage, when the newlywed confesses that her expected bundle of joy is
just a figment of her overactive imagination.”
“By the way, did I mention that you look like hell?” snaps Katie. “Yeah thank you for noticing,” says Henry dryly.
“What happened to you?” asks Katie.
“Well I lost my job, I lost the 500 bucks you promised to repay me, I
guess I lost my will to groom, it’s called the snowball effect.”
“All right, you’re really creeping me out,” says Katie.
“If that’s your way of showing concern for me…”
“I only meant…” says Katie defensively.
“I know what you meant,” interrupts Henry.
“I’ll be the lead pup in the comeback trail.
I’ve just, I’ve got to get out of this place.”
“Yo’s?” asks Katie innocently.
“Oakdale!” responds Henry impatiently.
“But hey, enough about me, to what do I owe the honor of this dubious
visit?” Katie says she came to
ask him a favor. “Wow, what
now?” asks Henry, laughing. Katie
tells him that she wants him to look up somebody’s past for her.
Henry asks if it’s a specific somebody, and Katie responds, “My
husband.” Henry laughs. “The mission, should I choose to accept it…” says
Henry sarcastically. Katie tells
him she wants him to find out all about Simon’s past, jobs, women, business,
family, everything. Something is
keeping him in Oakdale, and Katie wants to know what it is.
Henry makes a guess, “Gee, that should be a tough one.
Her name is Mrs. Holden Snyder. There,
you’ve got your answer. Let’s
discuss the matter of my fee.” Katie
insists that it isn’t Lily. When
Simon went to jail for a “traffic violation,” Lily didn’t bail him out,
she went on vacation. Surprised,
Henry says, “Say it isn’t so! Congratulations,
or whatever you say in these circumstances.
You don’t think your husband’s secretly in love with you, do you?”
he asks with a smirk. “No,
that’s not it. He won’t tell me
what it is, and every time I ask he gets all weird and strong and silent.” “Oh, spare me,” says Henry, disgusted. Katie asks if Henry can help her. “Can I help you? Yes,
that goes without saying. Will I
help you? Well, business is slow,
I’ve got some time on my hands. Why
not?” Katie looks pleased and
starts to leave. Henry just looks
at her. “What?” she asks, and
Henry responds, “You don’t think I’m doing this out of the kindness of my
heart, do you? Incentive,
incentive, Katie. What’s in this
arrangement for me?” “What do you want me to do?” asks Katie. Henry names his price, “I want a letter of recommendation from your brother. I wanna get out of this town, jump start what’s left of my career.” Katie doesn’t seem to think that’s too hard, but Henry tells her, “It’s not as simple as it sounds. Craig Montgomery is not exactly my biggest fan.” “Yeah, well, that may be so but he is my brother, and getting people to do things they don’t really want to do is one of my specialties.” “Then you’ll get the letter?” asks Henry. “If you get Simon’s secrets.” “It’s a deal,” agrees Henry. They shake and Henry says, “Lets toast, I feel like celebrating!”
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