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Monday, March 15, 2004 Henry's newest alias makes an appearance today - Father Frank.
Katie has asked for Henry's help in finding out what's going on with Mike and the mysterious Pilar. She's eavesdropping on Mike and Pilar outside her hospital room when Henry approaches. "Henry, where have you been?" she asks. "Investigations take time, my little cherub. As requested, I got the lowdown on one Pilar Domingo," answers Henry. Katie asks him what he found out. "Well, it seems that she and Mike got close on the racing circuit. I never thought I'd see our mild-mannered Mr. Kasnoff strapped behind the wheel of a formula one," observes Henry. Impatiently, Katie says she knows that already and asks what else he has. "Well, they reunited in Spain, where according to all accounts, the engines overheated," says Henry euphemistically. "Does that mean they slept together?" asks Katie. "Um, Pilar is gorgeous, and Mike has a pulse. So..." answers Henry. "Yeah, well, you know what? It must not have been that earth-shaking, or they wouldn't have broken up," says Katie jealously. "And besides, Mike told me once that he and Pilar had no unfinished business, that he was sure in his heart that they were meant to be friends," she adds. "So, case closed. What's the problem? Let's go hit the snack machines, huh?" says Henry as he begins to walk away. "Unless," says Katie, calling him back, "Pilar had another idea. Like she's been pining after him this whole time, and this is her chance to make her move." "Do you think she would tell you if you asked her?" wonders Henry. "After all the questions I asked her last night, she's never going to talk to me again," says Katie, "But maybe there could be someone else to ask her questions, someone that she would trust." Henry thinks for a moment and then says, "You know, you're not going to believe this, but I know just the person."
Mike finally leaves Pilar's room, to go buy her some clothes to replace the ones soaked with blood from her stab wound. Katie follows him. Pilar is alone in her room when there's a knock on the door. A priest with a rosary enters and we see that it's Henry! "Good morning, my child. I thought you could use some spiritual comfort," he says sympathetically in an Irish brogue.
"The name is Father Francis Finnegan. But you can call me Father Frank. Or Father... or Frank. Whatever you like. I'm here to serve," says Henry. Pilar asks if she's dying. Unfortunately not. "One of the nurses told me what happened - mugged, left bleeding, lying there. It's all - I thought maybe you'd want to talk about it," says Father Frank compassionately. Pilar says she'd rather not talk about it. "Yeah, well, that's a dangerous attitude, my child. You see, the soul is, uh, - it's like a stuffy room. And sometimes you just have to open a window and air it out," says Father, sitting down next to Pilar.
"I've never thought of it that way," she says. "As I was saying in my last sermon, little lambs, if you want spiritual peace, you have to have the courage to reveal everything - your past, your hopes and dreams, where you came from, where you're going," advises the priest. Pilar responds that she's not much of a talker. "Well, that - that's because your spirit is hurting, my child. It's backed up like a balky sink, but it can be fixed if you unburden everything now," Father Frank encourages her. Pilar agrees and asks if he'll hear her confession. "Your - yes. Yes, of course. I would be honored. Tell me everything," offers the kind priest.
"I'm sorry, Father, but I'm not comfortable," says Pilar. "Oh, is it the pillows? Here, I'll rearrange them for you," offers Father Frank. Pilar says that's not it. She'd like the confession to be just like it is in church. "What do you mean, like one of those phone booths with the little mail slot in it?" wonders Henry, losing his accent for a moment. "I mean - I mean - I mean - oh, child - child, child - I don't think - I don't think we have room for that in here, no," he says, the accent stronger than ever.
"No, I mean, with the traditional prayers and procedures," says Pilar. "You know, it occurs to me that maybe I should make a little confession myself. I've never been very good at the old-fashioned ways. My style is more - spontaneous, more seat-of-your-pants, you know?" explains the new-age Father. Pilar asks if people mind. "Oh, they love it. You should hear some of the stuff they tell me. Not that I would, of course, ever reveal anything that was said to me. Of course not. It's just - they can be very intense," says Father. Pilar asks if he's sure it would be all right. "You have my word as a man of..." Henry looks upwards. "As a man. So, anytime you're ready, just let it out. Let 'er rip."
Pilar asks him to come closer so she can whisper in his ear. "Ah, see, now you're catching on. We can just make up the rules as we go along," says Father Frank, leaning in to hear her confession. "Bless me, Father," she begins, "For you have sinned." She grabs his collar and pushes him away. "You're not a priest. Who are you?"
Today’s episode was directed by Ellen Wheeler and written by Craig Heller.
Transcripts from TVMegasite Katie: Henry, where have you been? Henry: Investigations take time, my little cherub. As requested, I got the lowdown on one Pilar Domingo. Katie: Come on, come on. What, what, what, what, what? Henry: Well, it seems that she and Mike got close on the racing circuit. I never thought I'd see our mild-mannered Mr. Kasnoff strapped behind the wheel of a formula one. Katie: Yeah, right, they met racing, they met racing. Go ahead, what else? Henry: Well, they reunited in Spain, where according to all accounts, the engines overheated. Katie: Does that mean they slept together? Henry: Um, Pilar is gorgeous, and Mike has a pulse. So -- Katie: Yeah, well, you know what? It must not have been that earth-shaking, or they wouldn't have broken up. Henry: Of course, right. Katie: And besides, Mike told me once that he and Pilar had no unfinished business, that he was sure in his heart that they were meant to be friends, so -- Henry: So, case closed. What's the problem? Let's go hit the snack machines, huh? Katie: Unless -- Pilar had another idea. Like she's been pining after him this whole time, and this is her chance to make her move. Henry: Do you think she would tell you if you asked her? Katie: After all the questions I asked her last night, she's never going to talk to me again. Henry: Okay. Katie: But maybe there could be someone else to ask her questions, someone that she would trust -- Henry: You know, you're not going to believe this, but I know just the person.
[ In an Irish accent ] Henry: Good morning, my child. I thought you could use some spiritual comfort.
Henry: The name is Father Francis Finnegan. But you can call me Father Frank. Or Father or Frank. Whatever you like. I'm here to serve. Pilar: It's nice to meet you, Father, but -- I'm not dying, am I? Henry: Oh, no, no. One of the nurses told me what happened -- mugged, left bleeding, lying there. It's all -- I thought maybe you'd want to talk about it. Pilar: Not really. The less I say about that night, the happier I'll be. Henry: Yeah, well, that's a dangerous attitude, my child. You see, the soul is, uh, -- it's like a stuffy room. And sometimes you just have to open a window and air it out. Pilar: I've never thought of it that way. Henry: As I was saying in my last sermon, little lambs, if you want spiritual peace, you have to have the courage to reveal everything -- your past, your hopes and dreams, where you came from, where you're going. Pilar: I'm sorry, Father. I guess I'm not much of a talker. Henry: Well, that -- that's because your spirit is hurting, my child. It's backed up like a balky sink, but it can be fixed if you unburden everything now. Pilar: Maybe you're right. Will you hear my confession? Henry: Your -- yes. Yes, of course. I would be honored. Tell me everything.
Pilar: I'm sorry, Father, but I'm not comfortable. Henry: Oh, is it the pillows? Here, I'll rearrange them for you. Pilar: No, no, the pillows are fine. But confession is a serious matter. And I would like to do it exactly as I do in church. Henry: What do you mean, like one of those phone booths with the little mail slot in it? I mean -- I mean -- I mean -- oh, child -- child, child -- I don't think -- I don't think we have room for that in here, no. Pilar: No, I mean, with the traditional prayers and procedures. Henry: You know, it occurs to me that maybe I should make a little confession myself. I've never been very good at the old-fashioned ways. My style is more -- spontaneous, more seat-of-your-pants, you know? Pilar: And people don't mind? Henry: Oh, they love it. You should hear some of the stuff they tell me. Not that I would, of course, ever reveal anything that was said to me. Of course not. It's just -- they can be very intense. Pilar: Well, if you think it's all right. Henry: You have my word as a man of -- as a man. So, anytime you're ready, just let it out. Let 'er rip. Pilar: Would you mind coming closer? I want to whisper in your ear. Henry: Ah, see, now you're catching on. We can just make up the rules as we go along. Pilar: Bless me, Father -- for you have sinned. You're not a priest. Who are you?
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