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The Real Stalker Appears (Mar. 24, 2000) 

Katie (opening her apartment door): Oh.

Henry: Well, it's good to see you, too.

Katie: You might as well come on in.

Henry: Hmm. Poor baby, we were expecting Holden?

Katie: Why don't you get a life, Henry -- please?

Henry: Well, not until I'm done helping you with yours. You know, you shouldn't fling open the door like that without knowing who's on the other side, especially dressed so provocatively, when you're supposed to be worried about a stalker.

Katie: Well, Henry, we both know that there is no stalker. It's all just a product of your warped mind.

Henry: My point is that we've put a lot of work into creating this game, and we don't want to mess it up by acting like there's nothing to be worried about, especially now.

Katie: Why now? What happened?

Henry: Well, my source at "The Intruder" tells me that someone's been asking questions, and that they probably know that the pictures of Molly and Chris came from an inside source at WOAK.

Katie: You're just telling me this to scare me.

Henry: Oh, afraid not.

Katie: Henry, what are we going to do?

Henry: Peretti, don't worry about it. That's what Uncle Henry is here to tell you.


Henry: If Chris Hughes keeps chipping away, he's bound to bump into some piece of the truth -- even if it's by accident.

Katie: I just wish I never would have gotten involved in any of this, Henry -- the pictures, this phony stalker -- none of it!

Henry: What, you'd rather still be fetching Holden his coffee instead of being on the receiving end of his personal star treatment?

Katie: I would have made it on my own, without all of your plotting.

Henry: If you believe that, I have a bridge to sell you.

Katie: We've got to lay off this whole stalker thing. It's getting way out of hand, with the police involved.

Henry: What, are you nuts? Look, this mysterious stalker is our best creation to date. As long as you play the damsel in distress, you're sympathetic. If Chris makes some accusations, it makes him look like he's beating up on Bambi. It's golden.

Katie: I just feel like I'm getting sucked in deeper and deeper, and I --

Henry: God, I love it. That pinch of desperation, a dash of panic. A little quivering tear in the voice. Mmm.

Katie: Oh, you're disgusting.

Henry: It's a nice touch. You know, you play the victim well, Peretti. Keep it up. The better you are at playing your part, the longer you'll stay on top.

Katie: I just hate this! I hate this! And I'm beginning to hate you!

Henry: What? After I brought you a housewarming gift and everything. Well, I am crushed.

Katie: Henry? Am I gonna come out of this okay?

Henry: You're gonna come out smelling like a rose. Enjoy your present.

Katie (opening the present): "Pretend it's an Emmy, and fake it till you make it."  Very subtle, Henry.


Katie (answering the phone shortly after the real stalker called and threatened her): Hello?

Henry: Hey, I just wanted to give you a heads up. I just finished pitching a public service special on stalking to Holden, with you as moderator. But I told him it was your noble idea, so back me up, okay?  Katie, you there?

Katie: Two can play at this game, Henry.

Henry: Is this a riddle? I hate riddles.

Katie: You need me just as much as I need you, and I'm telling you to lay off the stunts!

Henry: You've lost me, Katie.

Katie: Don't play dumb with me, Henry. I know it was you on the phone pretending to be the stalker.

Henry: Well, it wasn't me. Are you gonna help me out with the special or not?

Katie: Somebody called me and whispered that he would "get me" and then started laughing.  Henry, I know it was you.

Henry: Well, you're finally taking my advice and getting into this. Way to go, Peretti.

Katie: Ha-ha.


Katie (calling Henry): Henry! Henry, there's a man outside my window! He's wearing a ski mask!

Henry: Oh, that's nice delivery. Maybe we can use it in the special. I gotta go.

Katie: Wait -- Henry! Henry!


Katie (on the phone): Holden! Thank God you answered! There is a man outside my apartment wearing a ski mask. Somebody called and said they were going to get me. He's serious. Holden, this is real!

Holden: Call the police and lock yourself in. I'm coming over now. Henry, call the police and get them over to Molly's apartment right now!

Henry: What happened?

Holden: Katie's stalker is there!

Henry: Way to go, Peretti. I didn't think you had it in you. Nah, what's the rush? She's earned a few moments alone with her boss.


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