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Thursday, April 5, 2007 After finding Vienna (innocently) in bed with Brad, Henry decides that she could never be happy with him. But his friends Katie and Jack convince him otherwise, and the lovebirds make up. Today’s episode was directed by John O'Connell and written by Elizabeth Page.
Transcripts from TVMegasite Vienna: Tell him what happened? Brad: You sure? I mean, most men would rather not know. Henry: Yeah, I'm one of them. Vienna: But nothing happened. You left to buy that gorgeous ring and then he came and knocked on the door with an inferior bottle of champagne. Brad: That hurts. I spent a lot of money on that champagne. Vienna: And I thought it was you, so I went to open the door -- you know how you keep forgetting your key -- only it was him and he barged in and he tried to make love to me -- Henry: Oh, I don't need the blow by blow. Vienna: No, but it's all true! Tell him, Brad! Tell him how I tried to push you away and we fell on the bed! Brad: There is nothing like a soft landing. Vienna: But nothing happened! Tell him! If you don't tell him the truth, I will call -- I swear, I will call Katie and tell her what you've done! Brad: Oh, whoa, Katie! Oh, yeah, hey, got me licked. I confess, Henry. She's right. Nothing happened, yet. Vienna: And nothing will happen because I love -- I love Henry and Henry loves me and we are getting married! Right, Henry? You believe me, don't you? Brad: Sure he believes you, he's in love. Vienna: Don't use a word you don't understand. Henry and I are engaged. Brad: Henry, let me be the first to congratulate you. Job well done. You took a world-class flirt off the market. Vienna: I am not a flirt. Brad: No, no, not anymore, now that you're taken. You know, Henry, I don't know how you did it and I mean that sincerely. I really do. When I first met Vienna, I mean, I got to admit, I was a little intimidated. I mean, look at her. She's gorgeous and rich. She's been with movie stars. I mean, I think her last boyfriend was like a count or prince or -- Vienna: He was a prince, except he wasn't a prince. Brad: You see? Vienna: Henry is the only man who has really, really understood me. Brad: You believe that, Henry? I mean, come on, you really believe that? I mean, not that you aren't a real interesting guy. I'm sure if I dug deep down, I would find a thing or two that would hold my interest, but, oh, man, let's be honest here. You're you and Vienna's made the rounds, but hey, if you two got it going on, who am I to argue, right? Vienna: Made the rounds? How dare you! Hit him, Henry. Henry: Hit him? Vienna: Yes, hit him. He just called me a slut. You have to defend my honor. En garde, Brad!
Brad: Whoo, whaw! I admire you, Henry, willing to die for the woman that you love. Henry: Die? Brad: Whaw! Vienna: You're the one who's going to suffer, Brad, for your insolence. Any time you're ready, Henry. Brad: My insolence? Vienna: Any time you're ready, Henry, before he breaks something, quick. Henry: Hey, I'm sorry. This is just not my style, okay? Brad: See, that's the spirit. What do we say we shake hands? Vienna: Shake on what? Brad: Huh? May the best man win? Vienna: Well, the best man has already won. Henry: Why don't you get out of here, Brad, before I call security? Vienna: Yeah, take that, you cad. Brad: Cad? Okay, all right, you know what, Henry? No hard feelings. You definitely have your hands full. Vienna: He is so obnoxious. Henry: He certainly got a rise out of you. Vienna: You're mad at me. Henry: No, at you? No, I can never be mad at you, no. Vienna: Then, what is it? Henry: Let's not spoil this, okay? We've had a great time, but Brad has a point -- you are way out of my league. Vienna: No, no, don't be ridiculous. You're a gentleman. Henry: According to whom? Vienna: I don't care how many titles a man has. If he's a bore, he's a bore, and Dali -- he was the most selfish man I've ever met in my entire life. It was all about him. He even used to watch himself in the mirror when we were -- Henry: Yeah, that's overshare, overshare, overshare, sweetheart. Vienna: But you are -- are wonderful and generous and caring and loving -- Henry: I know, I know, I make a great best friend. Vienna: No, I don't need a best friend, I need a husband -- you. Now, give me that ring. Henry: Yeah, why not? You paid for it. Vienna: Aren't you going to put it on my finger? Henry: Oh, honey, I'm crazy about you, but this is never gonna work. The wedding is off. Vienna: No, wait! Henry, come back! I won't let you! No, Henry! Henry?
Katie: Henry? Henry? Are you okay? Henry: Hey, sorry. I didn't see you guys over there. Katie: What's going on? Why don't you come join us? Henry: I don't want to rain on your parade. Jack: What happened, Henry? Katie: You were supposed to give Vienna the ring that we picked out. Henry: Yeah, that was the plan. Katie: So what happened? Henry: Well, what happened is I went home and found her in bed with Brad. Jack/Katie: What? Henry: Yeah, so it just sort of sucked the air out of the old balloon, you know? Katie: Oh Henry, I'm so sorry. Henry: Don't be, don't be. It's for the best. I don't know who I'm kidding. I can't keep a woman like Vienna happy, so I'm just gonna quit while I'm ahead.
Katie: What exactly happened? You went to buy Vienna the ring, you came back and she and Brad -- Henry: Were in bed together. Jack: Oh. Katie: I cannot believe he would go after your fiancée like that. That is just so -- Jack: Brad. Katie: Yeah, it is him. Are you sure that Vienna was buying what -- Jack: What he was selling? Henry: Yeah, she said that nothing happened and that she just tripped and he happened to fall on her. Jack: That's classic Brad, though. You gotta believe her, Henry. Henry: It doesn't matter what happened or didn't happen, okay? The fact is I am no match for the Brads of this world. Katie: Oh, come on, Henry. You're a million times better than Brad Snyder. Henry: You may think that and Vienna may even think that, but what about the Brads that are CEOs or making movies or don't have to work at all, better yet. I can't compete with that. Katie: She loves you. Henry: You loved me too and look how that turned out. Katie: That was different and I still love you. Henry: Yeah, just not that way. Look, this is what I learned from you, okay? I am a girl's best friend and that is not going to satisfy a woman like Vienna. Sooner or later, someone like Brad is just gonna come along. Katie: And she will be smart enough to kick him to the curb. I know you've had your share of disappointments, Henry, and it's made you a little gun-shy, but Vienna's all over you all the time. Henry: Okay, I can let her have her way with me as long as it lasts, but it won't. Brad proved that. Katie: Oh, this is all my fault. I was giving Brad a hard time at the studio today. He kept going on and on about how he was irresistible, and I said that Vienna had no problem resisting him. Jack: Like waving a red cape in front of a bull. Katie: Exactly, so he started saying that he could get her back anytime he wanted. [ Jack scoffs ] Katie: It is all my fault. I goaded him into doing this to you. Jack: You are not to blame for my brother being a jerk. Waitress: Here we go. Jack: Great, yeah, what do I owe you? Katie: Wait, you're not going to stay and eat? Jack: No, I gotta go take care of a little something. I wouldn't worry about Brad, Henry. He's not going to be a problem.
Katie: You know, when mike left me, I couldn't really eat for days. Henry: Yeah, well, Vienna was not the great love of my life. Besides, she ate my breakfast. She's cute. I'm trying to forget that. Excuse me? Hey, hey, thanks. Could I get another burger -- make it a cheeseburger with some bacon and some fries and then a mocha milkshake and a slice of apple pie. Katie: Since when do you drink mocha milkshakes? Henry: Vienna makes them, actually. She takes the coffee from breakfast and throws in a couple pieces of chocolate, then half a glass of milk. Katie: Ooh, and she can cook, too. Who knew? You want to marry her, Henry. Henry: I don't want to marry anyone, Katie. Katie: You want to marry her. Stop denying it. Henry: Look, okay. Do I enjoy the attention and the sex and the money? Yes, of course. What man wouldn't? Katie: You enjoy the mocha milkshakes and the pillow talk, which I'm sure is very juicy considering all the jet- setting she's done. Henry: Yes, she's fun. What do you want me to say? She smells good, too. Katie: And you want to marry her. Henry: Okay, all right, fine, say I want to marry her. Fine, Katie. What then? She catches the eye of some professional linebacker or a senator. Better yet, another prince, and then she's off, and I'm left just a bleeding wreck and it takes me two years to drink myself back to sanity and another year to hold a pool cue and another five years to bluff. I've got my career to think about here. It's not worth it. Katie: Henry, listen to me. I know what it's like to lose someone. It hurts really bad, but I would never take away any minute that I had of any relationship, because it's not about the pain, it's about feeling alive and sharing that feeling with someone. You know, Vienna's not my favorite person, but I'm starting to see that she does care about you, and you obviously care about her. You guys have a lot in common. She likes to get dressed up and drink champagne, go out and gamble. I think you two were meant for each other. So just take the risk, okay? It doesn't matter how long it lasts, it's worth it. Henry: You'll be there for me when she walks out? Katie: You know I will. Go on. Come on. Henry: All right, all right. Katie: Go get her, tiger. Henry: Tiger? Thanks.
Henry: Vienna? Oh. Vienna: Don't ever do that to me again. I never thought you were coming back. Henry: What? And leave my lucky shoes? Not on your life. Hey. Vienna: Are those for me? Henry: Yeah, yeah, these are yellow because I'm a coward, and roses because you smell so good. Vienna: Are we getting married? Henry: Yeah, if that's what you want. Vienna: Of course I want it. But you have to want it too or it won't work. Henry: You really want to marry me? Vienna: Yes, I do. Henry: You put the ring on? Vienna: Because I knew you were coming back. Henry: Did you? Then what's with all the tears and everything? Vienna: In case you weren't. Henry: That's my girl, always hedging your bets. Vienna: It's a beautiful stone. Henry: You bought it. Vienna: Well, you picked it out and that's what counts. Don't ever do that again to me, ever. Henry: Buy you a ring? Vienna: No, walk out on me like that. Henry: Okay. Vienna: Do you know how it feels to watch someone you love just walk away from you? Henry: Yeah, I do.
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