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Tuesday, April 6, 2004 On today's show Henry chases Katie's mystery man to the Wagon Wheel Motel, and gets a kiss as a reward! Katie and Henry are at Al's and Katie has just described the man she saw talking to Pilar to a sketch artist. "Yes! Oh my God, that's him. That is amazing. How can I ever repay you?" asks Katie. The sketch artist says, "Fifty bucks is the usual fee," and Katie asks Henry to pay. "What? Katie, that's, like, five martinis plus tip!" complains Henry, putting down his hamburger. Katie promises to pay him back, so Henry pays the artist and he leaves. Katie thanks him and plans to pass the sketch around to see if anyone recognizes him. "Right. Let's say we find someone who has seen this man talking to Pilar. What then, Katie? Hmm? Do we find out if he's a good conversationalist?" asks Henry sarcastically. "We find out where he lives. Then we stake out the place," plots Katie. "And we stake it out because..." wonders Henry. "Because sooner or later, Pilar's going to show up there. And that way I can prove to Mike that whatever she's cooking up, they're in on it together," says Katie. "You know, I can't believe I spent $50 - and broke my diet before I remembered," observes Henry. "Remembered what?" asks Katie. "That you are so obsessed with Mike Kasnoff that it is driving you crazy. Baby, give up the chase. You're running for all the wrong reasons," advises Uncle Henry.
Henry hands Katie his cell phone and tells her to call Mike and tell him she wants him back. "Get it through your head. I am just trying to protect someone I care about. Period. Pilar is out to hurt Mike and I'm not just going to be like that woman in France who, while everybody was getting their heads chopped off, just sat around with a couple of knitting needles and a ball of yarn!" says Katie. "Why Katherine, I had no idea that your interest in Mike had such historical resonance," says Henry.
Katie is annoyed that like Margo, Henry is just humoring her. She storms off angrily to the bathroom. "Bubbles, bubbles!" Henry calls after her. Bored, he picks up the sketch and wonders, "Let's see what this guy would look like with an eye patch." Just then a man who looks like the sketch walks into Al's and sits at the counter. "Hello!" says Henry.
Henry is watching the man and wishing Katie would return. When she doesn't come back before the man leaves, he writes her a note and follows the man. Katie comes back from the bathroom and finds the note, "Stay put. I'll call. Henry." She notes that it might be difficult for him to call her since she still has his phone. Henry has followed Pilar's friend to the Wagon Wheel Motel. He shows the sketch to the manager who confirms that he's seen him. "You have? What's his name?" asks Henry. The manager says he doesn't know because the room is not under his name. Henry suggests that it's under the name Pilar Domingo, and the manager wishes him a nice day and walks away. "Oh, ye of little brain, thank you. Wait'll Katie hears this." He reaches for his phone and finds it missing. "Damn it! Where's my phone?" he says, frustrated.
Katie is talking to her sundae at Al's. "There was a time when you could've fixed anything. A bad day? Double scoop. A really bad day? Triple scoop with lots of fudge. But now, now, I just need someone on my side." The phone rings and Katie answers it, "Henry Coleman's phone. Who's calling?" "Only the best friend you've ever had. Grab a flash camera and meet me over at the Wagon Wheel," says Henry. He gives her directions, and she asks what's up. "I found Pilar and her boyfriend. They're hiding out in room number five," says Henry. Katie says she's on her way. Henry hands the cell phone he was using back to the manager and says, "You're not seriously gonna charge me $50? It was one phone call, just one measly little phone call." "We had a deal, hotshot," he says. "You know what this is? This is bad karma for you. I'm telling you - you take this money and, I'm warning you..." The manager takes the money and Henry says, "You owe me $100, Katie."
Katie sneaks up on Henry who is kneeling outside Pilar's room. "Is Pilar still in the room with that guy?" she asks. "Yes. They seem to be making quite a night of it," answers Henry. "I can't believe we got so lucky," says Katie excitedly. "What's this 'we' stuff, kemo sabe? I'm the one that matched the face with the sketch," says Henry. Katie says the important thing is their luck is turning around.
She asks him if he's sure it's the right room. "Yep. It's room five. Booked by a Pilar Domingo, as confirmed by our money-grubbing desk clerk," says Henry. "Which reminds me..." Katie interrupts him by kissing him on the lips, which stops him in his tracks. "Now it will be so easy to prove to Mike that Pilar's bad news. I owe you, Henry," she says. Still slightly in shock, Henry slowly and distractedly says, "Yeah. Yeah, you owe me $100. $50 for the phone, and $50 for the sketch, at Al's dinner." He notices that Katie is busy fooling with the camera and asks if she's listening to him.
Pilar finally comes out of the room with her gentleman caller and Katie says, "Say cheese!" as she snaps a picture. Unfortunately, her friend turns out to be Mike, not the mystery man, who escaped out the window before Mike arrived. Needless to say Mike does not look pleased.
Today’s episode was directed by Michael Eilbaum and written by Meg Kelly.
Transcripts from TVMegasite Katie: Yes! Oh my God, that's him. That is amazing. How can I ever repay you? Sketch artist: Fifty bucks is the usual fee. Katie: Henry. Henry: What? Katie, that's, like, five martinis plus tip! Katie: I'll pay you back. Henry: all right. all right. Here you go, my good man. Katie: Thank you. all right. all we have to do now is show this around and find out if anyone has recognized Pilar's new friend. Henry: Right. Let's say we find someone who has seen this man talking to Pilar. What then, Katie? Hmm? Do we find out if he's a good conversationalist? Katie: We find out where he lives. Then we stake out the place. Henry: And we stake it out because -- Katie: Because sooner or later, Pilar's going to show up there. And that way I can prove to Mike that whatever she's cooking up, they're in on it together Henry: You know, I can't believe I spent $50 -- and broke my diet before I remembered. Katie: Remembered what? Henry: That you are so obsessed with Mike Kasnoff that it is driving you crazy. Baby, give up the chase. You're running for all the wrong reasons.
Henry: Call Mike. Katie: And say what? Henry: You want him back. Katie: Get it through your head. I am just trying to protect someone I care about. Period. Pilar is out to hurt Mike and I'm not just going to be like that woman in France who, while everybody was getting their heads chopped off, just sat around with a couple of knitting needles and a ball of yarn! Henry: Why Katherine, I had no idea that your interest in Mike had such historical resonance. Katie: You're humoring me. First Margo, now you -- I thought you would at least understand. Henry: Bubbles, bubbles -- let's see what this guy would look like with an eye patch. Hello.
Henry: Come on, Katie, the game's afoot! Katie: "Stay put. I'll call. -- Henry" how are you going to do that? I have your phone.
Manager: Sure I've seen him. Henry: You have? What's his name? Manager: Don't know. Room's not registered under his name. Henry: all right. Whose, then? A woman named Pilar Domingo? Manager: You have a nice day, ya hear? Henry: Oh, ye of little brain, thank you. Wait'll Katie hears this. Damn it! Where's my phone?
Katie: There was a time when you could've fixed anything. A bad day? Double scoop. A really bad day? Triple scoop with lots of fudge. But now, now, I just need someone on my side. [ Phone rings ] Henry: Henry Coleman's phone. Who's calling? Henry: Only the best friend you've ever had. Grab a flash camera and meet me over at the wagon wheel. Katie: The what? Henry: The wagon wheel motel. It's exit six off the expressway. Take the second right after the old mill. Katie: Okay, okay, but why? Henry: I found Pilar and her boyfriend. They're hiding out in room number five. Katie: You're the best! I'm on my way. Henry: You're not seriously gonna charge me $50? It was one phone call, just one measly little phone call. Manager: We had a deal, hotshot. Henry: You know what this is? This is bad karma for you. I'm telling you -- you take this money and, I'm warning you -- you owe me $100, Katie.
Katie: Is Pilar still in the room with that guy? Henry: Yes. They seem to be making quite a night of it. Katie: I can't believe we got so lucky. Henry: What's this "we" stuff, kemo sabe? I'm the one that matched the face with the sketch. Katie: Yeah, well, the important thing is, our luck is turning around. So you're sure we're staking out the right room? Henry: Yep. It's room five. Booked by a Pilar Domingo, as confirmed by our money-grubbing desk clerk. Which reminds me -- Katie: Now it will be so easy to prove to Mike that Pilar's bad news. I owe you, Henry. Henry: Yeah. Yeah, you owe me $100. $50 for the phone, and $50 for the sketch, at Al's dinner. Are you listening to me?
Katie: Say cheese!
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