Message Boards

Garth the Stalker Attacks (April 7, 2000) 

Henry: All right, we're all set. Here's your copy, hit your mark.

Katie: You know what, Henry? I'm not ready.

Henry: Did somebody die?

Katie: No, of course not.

Henry: Then we're doing this.

Katie: Henry, I mean it.

Henry: Look, your makeup's fine. Just get Debbie to touch up the hair a little bit.

Katie: Listen, can't we just postpone this for tonight? I'm not really feeling up to it.

Henry: Oh, well, you were fine two minutes ago.

Katie: Let's just postpone and give the crew the night off for once.

Henry: The crew is paid plenty to suffer, as are you, Ms. Anchor. Move it.

Katie: Henry, I am not pulling an ego trip. Let's just do it tomorrow. I'll work twice as hard tomorrow.

Henry: Katie, it has been my pleasure to guide you in your rise to stardom, but if you are pulling a diva number, this is not the time, and I am not the guy, got it? Now, if you are tired, get yourself a hit of caffeine and let's go!

Katie: What is the problem with just doing them tomorrow?

Henry: Well, your victim visibility is high today. Let's do these overnight, we're gonna edit them, and then we'll run them during the morning shows. Look, why are you giving me so much grief all of a sudden? This may be your one and only opportunity to attract network attention.

Katie: It's the copy. I have a problem with the copy. Why don't we -- if we put it off till tomorrow, we can run it by Kim first.

Henry: Since when do I run copy by Kim Hughes? Or you, for that matter?

Katie: Don't get so defensive. The copy's fine.

Henry: That it is.

Katie: It's just --

Henry: What?

Katie: It puts too much of the focus on me, you know? It takes the focus off the show and the rest of the news team.

Henry: Katie, that's the idea.

Katie: But Holden doesn't like it --

Henry: Who cares what Holden -- that phone call, was that from Paris, by any chance? That's it, isn't it? Holden is coming back early.

Katie: I didn't say that.

Henry: Oh, yeah.

Katie: I did not say that.

Henry: I can tell by the nauseating gleam in your eye. You want to do the promos tomorrow, because Holden is coming back tonight.

Katie: I just need a little private time, that's all.

Henry: I bet you do. You don't want a studio full of people standing around while you pull your most seductive moves on Holden.


Katie: Do we have to discuss this here?

Henry: There's no discussion necessary. Just tell me that you have plans with Holden.

Katie: I don't have to explain myself to you.

Henry: Are you sure about that?

Katie: Don't push me, Henry.

Henry: Oh.

Katie: Where are you going?

Henry: I'm gonna find out what you're up to.

Katie: Wait. Henry, wait! Hold on! Why do you always do this to me? Why do you have to know everything?

Henry: Because I can. And it's safer that way.   Now, tell me what Holden said.

Katie: He's coming back from Paris tonight and he wants me to meet him here.

Henry: There. Was that so hard? Why didn't you just say that in the first place?

Katie: Because I shouldn't have to explain myself. Never mind. Never mind. So, you'll postpone the promos? 

Henry: Not on your life. Get your hair ready. Let's go.

Katie: Why are you being so stubborn about this? I'm doing this for you, too.

Henry: What? Okay. All right, this I gotta hear.

Katie: Okay.

Henry: Mm-hmm?

Katie: Kim was livid about the stalker piece that we did, and how it smeared Chris. This will give me a way to butter up to Holden before Kim gets to him. 'Cause you know he's gonna be on your case worse than ever.

Henry: You'd do that? For me? I'm touched.

Katie: Okay, fine. It's for me, too, but Kim was ready to fire both of us. Doesn't it make sense to have Holden on our side?

Henry: Right. No matter what the sacrifice. Nevertheless, with Holden's imminent arrival, we should get these things in the can tonight.

Katie: Why?

Henry: Because he'll probably kill them when he runs the idea past Kim.

Katie: Then, why do them? Look, we need Holden on our side. Just give me this time alone with him. I'll sell him our idea on the promo and we'll be in the clear.

 Henry: All right, you got a point. Tell you what -- we can knock these out in half an hour, then you can have your "alone time" with Holden. And after you're done with your selling number, we'll have these ready to go.

Katie: No, I have to go home!

Henry: Why, Katie? So you can go slip into your teensy, little red dress and fishnets? Oh, no! Oh, give me a break, Katie. Don't you think that's a bit obvious?

Katie: I know what I'm doing.

Henry: Okay. If Holden comes in here and is expecting a studio full of people and instead finds you dressed to thrill, he's gonna turn around and run right back to Lily.

Katie: You know, for someone who loves to play the angles, you're pretty dense. He sent me a telegram. Why would he do that if he could have just called?

Henry: No phone records. No way for the wife to find out. No, something's not right.

Katie: All I know is that Holden's been out of the country for nearly a week, and the first person he wants to see is me.

Henry: Fine, then, Katie, don't blow it by being too eager. All right? You don't need to go slip into some sexy little number just to impress him.

Katie: What, are you my dresser now, too? I am so sick of this, Henry. Back off!

Henry: Katie, don't ever use that tone of voice with me again.

Katie: I am sick and tired of you running my life and trying to orchestrate me. It's none of your business.

Henry: Katie, you would be nothing without me. You could barely make a cup of coffee, sweetheart! Now, this is about making money. Network deals, magazine covers, bidding wars for your appearances! Are you sick and tired of that?! Scoot over. We apologize, folks. It's been a long week for Katie, for all of us, I guess. Why don't you just pack it up, we'll call it an early night, okay? Yeah, I said go home! Well, Katie, looks like I came to your rescue again. What were you going to explain this little scene away with?

Katie: The truth. I am sick and tired of you telling me what to do, running my life and making my decisions. No more lies, no more tricks. I am sick of being your puppet, Henry! This ends now!

Henry: Katie -- Katie, don't walk out -- don't walk out the door like that. Hey, hey. Hey! Peretti! [Henry gets hit on the head by Garth the stalker.]


Previous Henryism            Back to Henryisms Page            Next Henryism