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Wednesday, April 9, 2003 On today's show Henry embarks on yet another scheme. The purpose of this one it to help Emily and Rose help Craig get rid of Barbara for a few days. Henry and Rose are having coffee at Java and discussing business. "Henry, my partner and I are the brains here. You're just strictly for the heavy lifting. Capisce?" says Rose. "Yeah. It's the uneven distribution of labor that worries me," answers Henry. "It's nothing to worry about," responds Rose. "Barbara's out of commission for about 48 hours or so -- ba da bing. Ba da boom." "Ba da bye," finishes Henry. He gets up to leave but Rose tells him to sit down. He does so but tells Rose he's allergic to violence. Rose assures him there is no violence involved. "Babs is gonna be in this nice, cozy little place with caviar in the fridge. She's gonna be my future mother-in-law. Would I hurt my future mother-in-law?" asks Rose. "Hmm -- the woman who turned your face in so much crepe paper and then buried you alive? Yes," answers Henry accurately. Rose asks what she has to do to convince him, and Henry answers cash would help. Rose offers something better than cash, "You help us with Carly, you're gonna get something -- such a great reward -- a warm feeling right in your heart. But that's the wrong argument to use with our Henry. "Rose, when I want a warm feeling, I'll order my martini extra dry, okay? I'll be sure to visit you in the slammer, all right?" says Henry as he begins to leave again. This time Rose stomps on his foot to get him to sit back down. "Now look what you made me do!" she scolds him.
Rose assures Henry that Barbara will not know who took her, so no one will ever go to jail. "Yeah, Rose, I seem to remember you saying something like that on a boat that almost sank into shark-infested waters," says Henry skeptically. Rose tells him that was a different situation. She's in charge now, and Barbara is simply going to have a little "schedule change." Henry wonders why they are going to all this effort for a schedule change. "Because Carly needs peace and quiet without Barbara screeching in her ear about how she's gonna take her company. Carly needs some time alone. She needs to get Monte Carlo off the -- you know what? I could just tell everybody about that dead body in a trunk in Avanya!" threatens Rose. "Wait a second, wait a second. There was one dead body, okay? And it turned out not to be dead, remember? Now, I'm -- I never broke any law in Avanya. There was no law in Avanya. Listen to me, Rose, I am reformed now, okay? I keep a very low profile. I'm an excellent, excellent friend to Katie. And I just -- I just wanna work hard and earn some decent wages," explains the kinder, gentler Henry. Rose notices that he brought up money again and offers to give him some. She asks him if he's on board now and he still answers no.
Emily enters Java and sits down at their table. She has just talked to Craig and everything is set to go. Henry is surprised to see that Rose's partner is Emily, aka "Mrs. Chief of Detectives Hal Munson." "I'm loyal to my friends, Henry. You ought to try it sometime," says Emily. She asks him what his problem is. "What's my problem? I have two problems, actually. One -- kidnapping in this state is a felony. And two -- your friend here just crippled me, not to mention ruined a perfectly good pair of Italian leather loafers," complains Henry. "Good Italian? I don't think so," mutters Rose. Emily tries a new tactic to convince Henry to join them. "You know, I seem to remember, Henry, that you have a police record. How many times has Hal busted you, anyway? And wouldn't it be nice if the next time you and your Italian loafers got hauled in you had a little friend in the department?" This peaks Henry's interest and he asks Emily if she can really do that. She says she'll try if he keeps his mouth shut about this situation. Henry admits that it's a tempting offer and asks for one more thing. "I'm not just labor, okay? I need to be part of a plan. I need to feel like I have some kind of control here." "Done," agrees Emily. "Good, good. Now -- how can my devious mind be of service to you ladies?" smiles Henry. Rose goes to the Lakeview Lounge where she spies on Barbara meeting with Paul. Paul leaves and Rose calls Emily on her cell phone with the message, "The eagle has landed." Barbara goes out to her car and gets in the driver's seat. She's humming happily, convinced that things are finally going her way. Suddenly a gloved hand reaches from the back seat and holds a handkerchief over her face. She screams and struggles but soon passes out. "The eagle is chloroformed," says Henry, whose hand it was who did the deed. Rose jumps in the front seat and Emily in the back. Between the two of them they move Barbara over to the passenger side of the car and Henry gets in and drives.
Today’s episode was directed by Ellen Wheeler and written by Judy Tate.
Transcripts from TVMegaSite Rose: Henry, my partner and I are the brains here. You're just strictly for the heavy lifting. Capisce? Henry: Yeah. It's the uneven distribution of labor that worries me. Rose: It's nothing to worry about. Barbara's out of commission for about 48 hours or so -- ba da bing. Ba da boom. Henry: Ba da bye. Rose: Sit down, Henry. Henry: I'm allergic to violence, Rose. Rose: What violence? Violence? No, no, no. No. Babs is gonna be in this nice, cozy little place with caviar in the fridge. She's gonna be my future mother-in-law. Would I hurt my future mother-in-law? Henry: Hmm -- the woman who turned your face in so much crepe paper and then buried you alive? Yes. Rose: What do I have to do to convince you? Henry: Well, cash would be nice. Rose: I can do one better. You help us with Carly, you're gonna get something -- such a great reward -- a warm feeling right in your heart. Henry: Rose, when I want a warm feeling, I'll order my martini extra dry, okay? I'll be sure to visit you in the slammer, all right? Rose: Up and down, up and down! Henry: Oh! Ow. Rose: Now look what you made me do.
Rose: We're gonna fix it so Barbara never knows who took her and never will. Nobody goes to jail. Nobody gets hurt. Henry: Yeah, Rose, I seem to remember you saying something like that on a boat that almost sank into shark-infested waters. Rose: That was different. I'm in charge now. You're nothing but lip. Barbara is just gonna go through a schedule change is all. Henry: Well, why are we working so hard for something like a schedule change. Rose: Because Carly needs peace and quiet without Barbara screeching in her ear about how she's gonna take her company. Carly needs some time alone. She needs to get Monte Carlo off the -- you know what? I could just tell everybody about that dead body in a trunk in Avanya. Henry: Wait a second, wait a second. There was one dead body, okay? And it turned out not to be dead, remember? Now, I'm -- I never broke any law in Avanya. There was no law in Avanya. Listen to me, Rose, I am reformed now, okay? I keep a very low profile. I'm an excellent, excellent friend to Katie. And I just -- I just wanna work hard and earn some decent wages. Rose: Mm, there's that money thing again. You want money? Fine. I'll get you some money. You on board or what? Henry: No. Emily: Okay, everything's set on land. Henry: What? Mrs. Chief of detectives Hal Munson is in on this? Emily: I'm loyal to my friends, Henry. You ought to try it sometime. Henry: Hmm? Emily: What's your problem, anyway? Henry: What's my problem? I have two problems, actually. One -- kidnapping in this state is a felony. And two -- your friend here just crippled me, not to mention ruined a perfectly good pair of Italian leather loafers. Emily: Oh, those. Rose: Good Italian? I don't think so. I just stepped on -- Emily: You know, I seem to remember, Henry, that you have a police record. How many times has Hal busted you, anyway? And wouldn't it be nice if the next time you and your Italian loafers got hauled in you had a little friend in the department? Henry: You could do that? Emily: I do have his ear, you know. But you have to promise to keep your mouth shut on this particular little -- Henry: Well, that's tempting. That is tempting. Okay, well, I just need one more thing. Rose: Full of demands. Henry: No, listen. Rose: What? Henry: I'm not just labor, okay? I need to be part of a plan. I need to feel like I have some kind of control here. Emily: Done. Henry: Good, good. Now -- how can my devious mind be of service to you ladies?
[ Barbara screams ] Henry: It's chloroformed. [ Talking over each other ] Emily: Watch her head. Rose: Henry, you're gonna drive. Come on. Emily: Get the hips. Get the hips. [ Groaning ] Emily: Give me some light. Give me the light. Rose: Get her out of the way. Emily: Come on, you guys. We gotta hurry it up. Let's go. I got her. You got her? Okay. Henry: You all right? Emily: You okay? Rose: I like her better this way, she's quiet.
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