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Thursday, April 10, 2003 Henry, Rose, and Emily are in the car with an unconscious Barbara. "We got a problem," says Emily. "What happened? You finally realized that kidnapping is a felony?" suggests Henry. Emily explains that there's no road to the cabin, it's a half mile walk through the woods. "What are we supposed to do? Carry her?" asks Henry doubtfully. "That's what you're here for," says Rose. "Oh, no, no, no. See, you know what I did? I tweaked something when I was putting her butt onto your lap there, and I just -- I can't -- " stammers Henry. Rose and Emily say they'll help him, and Henry gets out of the car saying, "Fine. I'll send you my chiropractor bill." Emily and Henry open the passenger door where Barbara is laying across Rose's lap. They argue about the best way to do it, and Henry complains, "Shouldn't I get some more money for this?" Henry has Barbara's head, which he suddenly drops when he says, "Wait, come to think of it, now, we never did settle on an actual amount, did we?" They continue to argue and Rose tells Henry, "You're gonna help us, or else we're gonna make your life a living hell. Now let's go before she wakes up." They struggle with Barbara's lifeless body, saying, "One, two, three, hike," "Grab the leg," "I think it's stuck." "See, see, I knew this would happen. I've dislocated a rib," complains Henry, holding his side. After the opening credits the three of them are standing outside of the car while Barbara is still passed out in the front seat. "You know what? I have had it with you. She's too heavy for the two of us to carry. You are not weaseling out of this now. Let's go," orders Emily. "I would love to help you out and help you out with your dear friend Carly Tenney, but I have my future to think about," says Henry. Suddenly Barbara begins to moan and move. "Oh, my God. She's wakin' up. She's wakin' up. Let's go. Let's go," cries Emily. She tells Henry to get out the chloroform and urges him to go faster. Finally he puts the chloroformed handkerchief over Barbara's face and she passes out again. Rose hits Henry and says, "What took you so long?" "Sorry, I'm a little new at rendering people senseless," says Henry defensively. They agree that they need to get her to the cabin to give Carly the chance she needs to finish her designs, then they'll forget it ever happened. "Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I told you guys, I don't do manual labor," protests Henry. "You do nothing. You're worthless. But you know what? You're all we got. Let's go. Get on it," orders Rose. "Go, go, go. I'll get the leg. You get the arm. Let's go," instructs Emily. "All right, just don't hit me anymore, okay?" pleads Henry. Struggling, they drag the body from the car. Rose and Emily are carrying Barbara's body like a sack of potatoes into a cabin as Henry directs them to the bed. "On two. Ready? She's big. And one, and two -- " says Emily as they heave her onto the bed. "Easy, easy. Okay, easy," encourages Henry. He strikes a pose by the fireplace and asks, "Is anyone gonna ask how I feel?" The other two don't but that doesn't stop Henry. "The rib has stabilized," he says, gingerly touching his side. "I don't think it's gonna be too serious. Who owns this palace, anyway?" Rose says they don't know, Craig handled everything. "Well, seems to have most of the amenities," observes Henry. "Okay, wait, wait, wait, let's just get something straight, Henry. We do not want to hurt her. We just want to keep her out of commission for a few days," clarifies Emily. Rose discovers a "pooch door" with a tray of food already outside it. She reassures the others and herself that Barbara will be fine. Craig and Katie, who is in on the deal, are searching Barbara's Lakeview suite for her designs. He calls Rose to check in and she assures him everything is going according to plan. Pleased, Craig asks if there's any sign of the designs. Rose says they haven't seen them. A few minutes later her phone rings again. "It's probably Craig, about the designs. Hi, you got 'em?" she says as she answers the phone. But it's not Craig, it's Paul, and he wonders what she means. She makes up a story that she's waiting for the shoe guy to call about her shoes. Paul tells her he's at Rosanna's waiting for his mother, and they're worried that she hasn't shown up yet. Rose tries to tell him it's nothing to worry about. Paul says he's going over to her suite to look for her, but Rose tells him he should wait a little longer. Hanging up the phone, Rose says, "You hear that? I'm lying to the man I'm gonna marry." "Yep. I did, I did, and you know what? You're a natural," compliments Henry. Emily, an expert at such matters, tells Rose she was just doing what she had to do. Rose decides to go help Craig look for the designs while Emily and Henry finish up at the cabin. Emily gives Rose a number for a car service that doesn't keep records. Rose leaves and Emily tells her to be careful. "Yeah, yeah, yeah, and if you find any money in that suite, we're gonna split it three ways. Okay?" adds Henry. "It's always better to establish these things up front," he tells Emily. She is writing a note and Henry asks what it is. "Instructions," she answers. She puts the note on the tray of food at the foot of the bed. Standing next to Barbara she says, "Cost me a lot to do this to you, Barbara. But if it brings you a fraction of the pain you've brought me, I'll consider it a good deal." Henry and Emily leave, locking the door behind them. Today’s episode was directed by Michael Eilbaum and written by Craig Heller.
Transcripts from TVMegaSite Emily: We got a problem. Henry: What happened? You finally realized that kidnapping is a felony? Emily: There's no road leading directly to the cabin. It's a half a mile walk through the woods. Henry: What are we supposed to do? Carry her? Rose: That's what you're here for. Henry: Oh, no, no, no. See, you know what I did? I tweaked something when I was putting her butt onto your lap there, and I just -- I can't -- rose: Oh, we'll help you then, Henry. Let's go. Henry: Fine. I'll send you my chiropractor -- Emily: Oh, for the love of pete, I'll help you. Okay, I'm coming. Rose: Careful, careful, I got her head. Emily: All right, all right. Rose: Easy, easy, easy. Henry: Shouldn't I get some more money for this? Emily: Oh, come on, we don't have all night. Let's go. Henry: Wait, come to think of it, now, we never did settle on an actual amount, did we? Emily: Would you just come on already? [ Talking over each other ] Rose: You're gonna help us, or else we're gonna make your life a living hell. Now let's go before she wakes up. Rose: One, two, three. Emily: Go. Rose: Hike. Emily: Grab the leg. Rose: I think it's stuck. Henry: See, see, I knew this would happen. I've dislocated a rib. Rose: Oh! Emily: You know what? I have had it with you. She's too heavy for the two of us to carry. You are not weaseling out of this now. Let's go. Henry: I would love to help you out and help you out with your dear friend Carly Tenney, but I have my future to think about. Emily: She's waking up. [ Barbara moaning ] Barbara: Where am I?
[ Barbara moaning ] Emily: Oh, my god. She's wakin' up. She's wakin' up. Let's go. Let's go. Henry: What, what, what? Emily: Do you have the stuff? Henry: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Emily: What are you doing? Let's go. Henry: Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. Shh! Shh! Emily: Faster, faster. Get in there. Barbara: -- Wait for us. Whoa. Emily: Oh, thank God. Thank God. Rose: What took you so long? Henry: Sorry, I'm a little new at rendering people senseless. Emily: Well, don't let that happen again. She almost woke up! We can't have that kind of thing happening. Rose: Okay, can't think. Okay, you get Barbara to the cabin, let Carly finish the designs. Then we can let her go, and then we just forget about this. We forget it ever happened. Emily: Okay, right, let's go. Henry: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I told you guys, I don't do manual labor. Rose: You do nothing. You're worthless. But you know what? You're all we got. Let's go. Get on it. Emily: Go, go, go. I'll get the leg. You get the arm. Let's go. Henry: All right, just don't hit me anymore, okay? Emily: Come on, you guys. Watch her head, the head. Henry: I got it. Emily: One, two, three, go.
Emily: Go ahead. Hang in there. Hang in there. Ready? Henry: On the bed. Emily: On two. Ready? She's big. And one, and two -- Henry: Easy, easy. Okay, easy. Emily: Ow. Rose: That was uncomfortable. Emily: Yeah, right. Henry: Is anyone gonna ask how I feel? Rose: I doubt it. Emily: Not me. Henry: The rib has stabilized. I don't think it's gonna be too serious. Who owns this palace, anyway? Rose: We know nothing. Craig gave us no details. He handled everything. Henry: Well, seems to have most of the amenities. Emily: Okay, wait, wait, wait, let's just get something straight, Henry. We do not want to hurt her. We just want to keep her out of commission for a few days. Rose: Maybe a little more. Emily: Rose. Rose: Hey, look at this, see? A little pooch door. And food. Somebody already brought food. She's gonna be all right, right? One meal a day, she'll be -- she'll be fine. Perfect. [ Cell phone rings ] hello? Craig: What's going on? Rose: Everything's under control. We're here at the cabin. Barbara's still in la-la land. Craig: Excellent. Now does she have her designs with her? Rose: I didn't see any designs. Hold on. Hey, did you guys see any designs? They didn't see anything. Craig: Then they've got to be in her apartment. Rose: Is that where you are now? Craig: No. Rose: That means yes, right?
Paul: I need to cal lRose, tell her this might take just a little longer than expected. [ Cell phone rings ] Rose: It's probably Craig, about the designs. Hi, you got 'em? Paul: Hey, Rose, it's me. Do I have what? Rose: My shoes. I dropped 'em off at the shoe guy to have 'em dyed, and he said he was gonna call me. Paul: This time of night? Rose: Well, he's a very busy shoemaker. Hello, sweetheart, how are you? Paul: Not too good. Not too good at all. I'm at Rosanna's, waiting for my mother, who hasn't arrived yet. Rose: Well, you know your ma. She does it her way. Paul: Yeah, I know that, but she was excited about this. You know what? I'm gonna stop by her apartment to make sure everything's okay. Rose: No, that's gonna be a mistake! Paul: Why? Rose: Because then you're gonna leave, and then she's gonna show up, and then you're not gonna be there for the meeting. Paul: Well, yeah, but if something's happened to her -- Rose: You know what you always tell me? Don't jump to conclusions. Paul: All right. All right, I'll hang out here for a little longer. Rose: That's the spirit. I love you. Paul: I love you. Rose: You hear that? I'm lying to the man I'm gonna marry. Henry: Yep. I did, I did, and you know what? You're a natural. Emily: You know what? You did what you had to do, okay? You did not have a choice. It's okay. Rose: Just gonna keep tellin' myself that. Emily: Yeah. Okay. Rose: Could you guys lock up here? Because I'm gonna help Craig find the designs. Emily: Whoa, whoa, why? Rose: Because the sooner he finds them, the sooner he gets out of there. We don't have a car. We have one car. Emily: Right. I got an idea. Hang on, hang on, hang on. You take this -- take this note. Here -- here's a number, car service, we use them all the time at The Intruder. They don't keep records. Call them right when you get out to the road, okay? Just be careful. Rose: All right, all right, I'll see you guys soon. Emily: Be careful, Rose. Henry: Yeah, yeah, yeah, and if you find any money in that suite, we're gonna split it three ways. Okay? It's always better to establish these things up front. Henry: What's that? Emily: Instructions. Cost me a lot to do this to you, Barbara. But if it brings you a fraction of the pain you've brought me, I'll consider it a good deal. Henry: Wow.
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