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Wednesday, April 11, 2007 Henry has been arrested for gambling, but after Vienna pleads his case, Jack lets him go. Katie has planned a small bachelor party, and Henry starts drinking before the party starts. He expresses his doubts to Maddie before the party and Katie after the party, but he's still determined to go through with the wedding - tomorrow! Today’s episode was directed by Jennifer Pepperman and written by Mimi Leahey.
Transcripts from TVMegasite Jack: You were asking for this, Henry. If you're going to play cards with a bunch of guys who just got out of the joint, have the smarts not to do it at the Lakeview. Have a seat. Henry: I got carried away, all right? I finally had enough money for some high stakes. Jack: Those high stakes pushed the charges way into felony territory. We're not talking a slap on the wrist here, buddy. You're looking at three counts. Henry: Prison time? Jack: I'm afraid so. Henry: Yeah? How long? Jack: I'm not really sure. But if the charges stick, you can say good-bye to your wedding tomorrow. Henry: Okay, what about bail? I finally have enough money for bail. Jack: You have enough money for a lot of things, like a private jet, which makes you a flight risk. Henry: Well, this is not how it's supposed to be. Money is supposed to make life easy. Jack: Yeah, a common misconception. Henry: Isn't it supposed to make it more comfortable? Jack: Are you comfortable now? Henry: At the moment? Yeah. Yeah, I am. Jack: Why? Why is that? Were you looking for us to pick you up? Henry: No, I didn't plan it. Jack: Why? Why were you hanging out with a bunch of losers the day before your wedding? Why would you do something like that? Vienna: I know why. It's because of me.
Henry: Vienna, no. No, this is not your fault. I got crazy and careless and I -- sweetie, I never meant to hurt you or embarrass you. Vienna: Well, of course you didn't, Henry. You love me and I love you even more than I did before. Henry: Why? Vienna: Because it was so obvious what you were trying to do. Henry: It is? Vienna: Yes, you were trying to be an equal partner. You didn't want to come empty-handed to the altar. Henry: Uh. Uh. But honey, I lost. And when I think about how much, I feel sick to my stomach. Vienna: Oh Henry, please forget about the money. You are bringing everything I need to this marriage just by bringing yourself. Henry: No, no, it doesn't feel right. Vienna: You know what? I have had money my entire life. And it's lovely, but it has never brought me close to anyone, and it has never made me feel the way you do. You know I love you so much. Henry: I don't deserve you. I don't. When I think of all the men in this world who have chewed you -- Vienna: Okay, stop. Stop. Jack, you know, it would be a crime to lock up a man with such noble intentions. Jack: It doesn't matter what his intentions are, Vienna. He broke the law. Vienna: He just gambled a little, which isn't even illegal in most countries. Please, Jack, we want to get married tomorrow. Nobody got hurt. There must be a way out of this. Show some mercy? Henry: Not for three felonies. Jack: Felonies? Did I say felonies? I meant misdemeanors. It's a good thing I didn't write up this report. Vienna: Jack, does that mean -- Jack: That means that I made a huge mistake. I'm sorry. Come on, let's get you out of here. Vienna: Oh, thank you. You see, darling? Nothing stands in the way of true love. [ Henry sighs ]
Vienna: Katie! Did you see what Jack just did? He's releasing Henry back into my arms. Katie: That's because Jack knows what's important. Vienna: He's a good man. This town has quite a few ones, darling. You should get one yourself, soon. Of course, the best one is already taken. Henry: Easy, Vienna. Katie: That was close. I thought I was going to have to cancel your party. Henry: No. No cancellations. Everything's on. Vienna: You know, I don't know how I'll be able to thank you for this. Henry: Me either. Jack: Maybe encourage Henry to take up some new hobbies. Ones without cards or dice, preferably. Vienna: Are you saying I should change him? You know, that would be to tamper with perfection. Jack: Just keep it legal. Henry: Yes, yes, yes. I got it. Jack: Some advice? Henry: Sure. Jack: Why don't you take the rest of the day off? You look a little jumpy. Katie: Oh, don't worry about that. We'll fix it. It's about time to party, right? Henry: Yeah, if you say so. Vienna: Am I invited to this party? Katie: Oh, well, no. I'm sorry. In this country, the bride doesn't get to come to the bachelor party. Vienna: Oh. Oh, well, that's all right. I'm going to use the time to write my vows. Henry: You don't need to fret about that, sweetheart. Vienna: No, no. I have so much in my heart. And there are so many things I want to tell you. It's just that I'm a little worried about my English. Henry: Oh, your English is adorable, just like you are. Vienna: Thank you. But I want my vows to be something that you -- you always remember. And I'm not sure if -- Katie, you're a writer. You could help me! Katie: With your vows? Oh, I'm not sure that's such a good idea. Vienna: No, no, you would be perfect. You know Henry almost as well as I do. Please say yes? Please?
Jack: Okay, so Henry, you are a free man. Henry: For another 24 hours, at least. Katie: What's wrong? Henry: I don't know. I just think I may have broken my lucky streak, that's all. Katie: We'll see. The only critical thing you've missed now is your fitting for your tux. Henry: Really? Okay. What do we do now? Do we postpone? Katie: No, everything's fine. Brad stood in for you. It'll be ready on schedule. Henry: Fabulous. Katie: So everything's on track. Henry: Yeah. Except for me. So I -- I better get on those vows. Thank you for helping Vienna. You can see, she's a hard woman to say no to.
[ Knock at the door ] Henry: Good. Maddie: What's the crisis? You out of olives? Henry: I'm out of ideas. Maddie: What's going on? What's this? Henry: I'm trying to write my wedding vows. Maddie: Okay. How far have you gotten? Henry: I haven't gotten anywhere. There's a reason that people use the ones that are already in print, okay? Everything I write needs to be followed by a shot of insulin. Maddie: It can't be that bad. Henry: It can't be -- Vienna expects me to be this big romantic. I'm going to disappoint her. Maddie: Disappoint her? How? Henry: Because she's expecting these sort of life changing promises. Not some gooey song lyrics that wouldn't cut it on a cheap valentine. Maddie: Henry, you know what love is. Henry: I do, I just don't know how to put it into words. Not this time. So, I need your help. I need your help. Maddie: And this is just about the vows. I mean, you really love Vienna? Henry: You're a big movie fan, aren't you? Maddie: Yes. Henry: I just got a great idea. You could probably recite entire scenes from those old black and white tearjerkers. Can you give me something like -- "we'll always have Paris." Except, it won't be Paris, obviously. Can you do something like that? I'm running out of time here, Maddie. Maddie: Okay, all right. I will give it a shot. You're going to need to give me something specific, though. Like how you felt when you first saw her. Henry: That's odd. I don't remember. Probably that she was out of my reach. Maddie: Okay. What about the moment you knew that you would spend the rest of your life with her? Henry: That was really her idea. Maddie: Vienna is the only woman in the world to you, right? Henry: Yeah, you know what? I don't think we should go specific. I think that's the wrong route here. I think we should go, like, bigger and broader and safer. [ Cell phone rings ] Maddie: Hang on. Vienna? Vienna: Darling, Madeline. I need your help. Maddie: What's wrong? Vienna: I'm searching for the perfect wedding gift for your brother and I don't -- I just want to buy everything. Maddie: Your problems are so unique. Vienna: Can you please, please help me to make the right choice? If you have time. Maddie: I don't know if I can get away. [ Whispering ] Henry: Yeah, yeah, go, go. It's fine. Maddie: Are you sure about this? Henry: I'm fine. I've just been over-thinking it. Don't worry about it. Go. Maddie: Okay. Okay. Yeah, where are you? Mm-hmm. I'll be there in a bit. Are you sure you're okay? Henry: Yes, I am sure I'm okay. No one's going to remember my vows anyway. Right? Maddie: I know that Katie remembered what you said to her when you two got married. Henry: I bet she didn't. I don't remember myself. Maddie: Liar. Bye. Henry: Bye. I remember what she said to me, though. "I used to think about what it meant to find a soul mate. I used to think it was some gigantic love that you chase all around the world, or for different lifetimes or whatever. And maybe that looks good on paper, and then I finally realized the biggest prize is the person running right beside you. Who really likes you, even if you're not really likeable. Who thinks you look your best even when you think you look like something the cat dragged in. Who can finish your sentences, because they know you so well, but they don't have to. The person who gets you. Who gives you back the best part of yourself. The -- you, you really want to be. That's a soul mate. That's you, Henry."
Henry: One, two, three, four. The fifth time is a charm. [ Knock at the door ] I'm coming. Hi! Katie: Oh, it's time to set up! [ Henry laughs ] Katie: Will you put all that stuff -- probably over there, I guess. All right -- ooh, we need to tidy up a bit. Get ready to celebrate your last night as a bachelor. I thought we already did that? Wait, that was before our marriage and it didn't last that long, that's right. That's why it doesn't count. Katie: It's going to be different for you this time, Henry. Henry: Really? It's going to be different? Is love really lovelier the second time around? It wasn't for you. [ Knock at the door ] Jack: Am I early? Katie: No, come on in. We were just setting up. Brad: Oh, great, because I wasn't sure if I had the right time. Katie: I cannot believe you would crash Henry's bachelor party when you tried to sleep with his fiancée! I told him not to show up here! Jack: Yeah, I'm sorry. My brother's got a mind of his own. If you can call it a mind. Katie: This is the most brazen thing I have ever -- Brad: Brazen! I'm so brazen. Listen, granny, don't get your panties in a twist. I am bringing Henry a peace offering. Katie: I'm sure he doesn't want it. Henry: Well, Vienna doesn't want him, so there. [ Raspberries ] [ Laughing ] Brad: Yeah, she made that perfectly clear. I was a total jerk. I'm sorry. Henry: That's an apology. That's a real apology. It's very gentlemanly of you. It is. Brad: I'm trying. Henry: Good. Apology accepted. All right, great. Just stick around. Hey, let's get this party started! Want to help me with this? Bartender: Yeah, I can do that for you. Henry: And listen, by the way, I want to thank you for standing in for me with the tailor, because I was otherwise engaged. Brad: Oh yeah, man. My pleasure. Really nice tux, by the way. Henry: Really? You like it? If you want to wear it tomorrow, that can be arranged. Brad: Huh? Henry: That was a joke. It was a total joke. That's my attempt at humor, so -- [ Brad laughs ] Jack: Can you water down those martinis? Katie: No, that would never fool him. But maybe I'll try to soak it up with some food. [ Knock at the door ] Katie: Now what? Henry: Who else is coming to this? Katie: Yes? Stripper cop: You need to keep it down in there. Katie: Oh, I'm sorry. We're not exactly raising the roof here. Stripper cop: I'm responding to a noise complaint, ma'am. Katie: "Ma'am?" Well, I'm sorry. We're just having a couple hors d'oeuvres and toasting the groom. Very low key. Stripper cop: Well, in that case -- let's pump it up! [ Brad cheers ] Brad: That's what I'm talking about! Henry: Nice. Very nice! Stripper cop: I hear somebody's been naughty. Henry: Oh, it's me, officer. It's me. Please, arrest me. I've been awful. [ Henry laughing ] Oh my goodness.
Henry: Yeah, officer. Use the force. The force is with you. Oh my goodness. Stripper cop: It's your night, honey. Any special requests? Henry: I'm sure I can think of something. [ Henry giggling ] Katie: Okay, your shift is over. Time to go home. Thank you very much. We really appreciate it. Henry: What? I didn't get my party -- Katie! I didn't get my party favor!
Henry: What, is the party over? Is the party over? Katie: No, no, no. It's not over. It's just going to be a little smaller now. Henry: All right. Brad: Woo! Jack: Brad didn't mean any harm. He was just trying to create some memories, that's all. Katie: Yeah, not something I would want to remember. All right, Henry is not good. Can you just -- Jack: Yeah, why don't I take him outside and walk him around a bit, get him some fresh air? Katie: No, that's not going to work. He's past that now. Can you just help the bartender pack up and get rid of the champagne. We'll take care of Henry. Jack: You got it. Yeah. Come on, let's get this stuff out of here. Here, let me help you. Good night, Henry. Henry: Hey, good night. Katie: Thanks. Brad says I ruined your party. Henry: No. Katie: Are you mad? Henry: No. Katie: You're being kind of quiet. You know, it's okay to be nervous about tomorrow. But you don't have to be. Vienna loves you. Henry: She does. Katie: She loves every part about you. I mean, she's actually kind of surprised me. Henry: You? I never saw it coming. Katie: Neither did I. Looks like you're going to get your happily ever after, after all. Let's just stop with that now. You don't want to be completely hung-over on your wedding day. It goes by fast enough. You want to be able to enjoy every minute. Henry: Our wedding didn't go by fast. I remember every single minute of it. Katie: And you can still look at me? Henry: Yeah, that's never been a problem. My eyes are already wide open. I knew that you didn't love me and that our marriage was more about you and mike than it was about you and me, but I didn't care. Katie: Why? Henry: Because I was in love. And for a moment, I had you, and that was all I really needed. It was the happiest moment of my life. Katie: Don't say that, please. Don't say that, Henry. Henry: I'm sorry. Don't get -- now look. Now come here. Don't get all guilty, okay? Because you know what, I got a chance to love and not hold anything back. To get to give everything to somebody else, not just to myself. Katie: Is that what you and Vienna have? Henry: Oh, that's what she has, yeah. Katie: But both people have to feel the same thing. Henry, you know that by now. Henry: What I know is that this is going so fast. I haven't had a chance to think about it. Katie: Okay, then stop now. And think. If this is a mistake, just say the word, okay? It's not too late.
Katie: You don't want to go through with this, do you? Henry: I said I would marry her, so I'm marrying her. I have to. Katie: You don't have to. Henry: She has given me everything she has and she trusts me to do good by her. Katie: Then don't you think she deserves the truth? Henry: The truth -- the truth is, Katie, that before she decided to look my way, I had lost my self-confidence. I lost my dignity. I damn well lost any reason to live. Katie: Then shouldn't you be happier marrying her? Henry: I'm working up to it. What are you talking about, happiness? What is happiness? It's all relative. Happiness is relative. It's different for different people, right? Katie: You would not be getting so philosophical if you really loved her! Henry: Oh my god, you sound just like Maddie. What is it with you two girls? Why are you picking on me? Katie: Because we love you! We don't want you to settle for less than you deserve! Henry: Vienna is more than I deserve! Katie: Says who? Henry: Stop it! Okay, I'm doing this. Katie: You are trying to talk yourself into this marriage. Henry: You were trying to talk me out of it. Now I am doing it, Katie, okay? No matter what, I'm doing it! Katie: Okay. Okay, you're doing it. You're doing it. But not until tomorrow, so you need to get some sleep, okay? Come here. It's okay. You just need a lot of sleep. Okay. Henry: I'm doing it. Katie: Yes, you're doing it. But you need some sleep first, okay? Just rest and whatever you decide, whatever happens, I just want you to know that I am here for you, like you've always been here for me. Henry: I'm doing it, Katie. Katie: Yeah, you're doing it. Henry: Mmm. Mmm. Katie: All right. Just remember, whatever you decide, whatever happens, I'm here. Always. [ Katie sighs ]
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