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Thursday, April 13, 2006
Today’s episode was directed by John O'Connell and written by Josh Griffith.
Transcripts from TVMegasite Paul: Let me handle Meg. Okay? There's no reason for you to get involved. I'll make sure Meg leaves us alone from now on. Emily: No. Absolutely P. We are a married couple now. We share in the good and the bad. So if we have to deal with Meg, we're going to deal with her together. Are you expecting someone? Henry: Hey. Greetings, happy couple. I come bearing gifts. Well, a gift. But one I'm sure you will love. As will I. Emily: Henry, it's not really a good time. Paul: It's never a bad time to get a gift. Come on in, Henry. Thanks. Henry: Hi. Paul: Hey, Em. Look at this. Henry: Yeah. It's quite nice. A little bit selfish, too, I must tell you. I'm trying to set it up so that everyone I visit – Paul: they can mix you the perfect martini. Henry: Exactly. Yes. I hope that doesn't make me a bad person. Paul: No, that makes you a genius. Hey, will you do us the honors and help us break it in? Henry: Smashing idea. Martinis all around? Paul: I think it will just have to be for the two of you because there's something I've got to do. Emily: Wait. I thought you and I were going to -- Paul: This can't wait, Em. I'm just going to make sure that if Meg comes anywhere near us that she winds up in handcuffs. Okay? I'll be right back. Emily: Yeah. Henry: I don't think he likes me. Emily: I don't think he thinks about you too much, Henry, really. Henry: Really? So how is married life? Now that you've gotten everything you've schemed and connived and blackmailed to get. Is it everything you thought it would be? Emily: Almost. Henry: Oh, is there a tear in the fabric? Emily: No, a thorn in my side. And her name is Meg Snyder. Henry: Oh, man. Is she still giving you a hard time? Emily: She will not leave Paul alone. Henry: Is that why he went to the police? Emily: Yeah, well, a restraining order isn't going to cut it. I need to take care of Meg in my own way.
Henry: Somebody had a wild night. Emily: You don't know the half of it. Paul was such an animal last night. Henry: That was so much more than I needed to hear. Emily: The person who needs to hear it is Meg. She needs to realize that we are really married, we're a couple. Someone needs to set her straight. Henry: And I take it that someone is you? Emily: I've had it up to my eyeballs with that woman. I'll do whatever has to be done to keep her away from my husband. Henry: For once, can't you focus on the positive? You've got the golden egg here. It wasn't Meg making mad passionate love here, it was you. Emily: But before that, they were together, Henry. At the Lakeview. I saw them. Henry: I'm sure there's a legitimate explanation for that. Emily: Then, why did Paul lie to me about it? Henry: Did he lie to you or did he just not tell you about it? Emily: Both. I asked him about it and he didn't come clean so, I confronted him about it this morning. Henry: What was his excuse? Emily: He said he ran into Meg by accident and got into an argument and he didn't tell me because he knew the mention of her name would get us sidetracked from what was supposed to be our honeymoon. Henry: Maybe that's true. Emily: Yeah. Right. Henry: I don't understand why you can't believe him. Emily: I wish I could. What if they weren't fighting? What if they're up to something, Henry? Henry: Meg and Paul? What could they possibly be up to? Emily: I don't know! These are the things that keep me awake at night. Henry: But he married you, didn't he? He married you. And obviously he has no problem consummating that marriage. Don't you think you're being a tad paranoid? Emily: Oh, god. I hope so. Either way, Meg has to be dealt with. Henry: Dealt with? Could you be a little less vague? Emily: I need to get rid of her, Henry. Permanently.
Henry: Meg is not a threat to you, sweetheart. Emily: I don't know that for sure. Henry: You and Paul exchanged vows and carnal pleasures and all this after you tried to kill the man. Now, I cannot think of a stronger foundation for a long-lasting relationship. No one, not even Meg Snyder, is going to come between the two of you now. Emily: Something's missing. I can feel it. Henry: Just because it seems too good to be true doesn't mean that it isn't. Why don't you stop looking at it half empty? Emily: Will you think back to when you were with Katie? And tell me that not for a split second did you think about putting rat poison in Mike Kasnoff's coffee? Henry: Never. At least not when I was awake. It doesn't help you at all. All that happens is you'd end up behind bars. Emily: And then you wouldn't get your precious money. Henry: Forget about the money. I'm not talking about the money. I'm talking about you. I'm trying to stop from you making a very bad mistake, one that you will regret. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow. But soon and for the rest of your life. Emily: What? Henry: I've always wanted to say that line. Emily: What is your problem? Why do you care about what I do? Henry: I don't know. I don't know. Maybe because we've become friends. Emily: When the hell did that happen? Henry: When neither one of us was looking, I guess.
Emily: Henry, I don't have many friends left. It's meant a lot to me that you've stuck by me the way you have. And I realize you wanted your money back as part of it. I know that. Henry: It's not that. I don't want it. I need it. I desperately need it. Emily: I will give it back to you, I promise. Henry: Yeah, and you know, it's not just the money. I mean, you're the only one who -- Emily: What? Henry: Laughs at my jokes. Emily: And you're the only one who listens to me whine. Henry: You know what would be great is if you'd done a lot more whining and a lot less shooting. Emily: Because I'm such a lousy shot huh? Henry: Think about it. If you were a good shot, you wouldn't be with the man you love. And I do hope, for your sake I do hope that this time's the charm. Emily: It will be. Once I take care of Meg. Henry: I can't believe we're back to that. Emily: Oh, Henry. I'm not going to kill her. Henry: You're not? Emily: No. Please. You think I'd do anything to jeopardize my second chance with Paul? Henry: Then why do you keep talking about getting rid of her? And by the way, how, if you're not going to murder her, are you planning to do that? Emily: Would you just relax? I have a risk-free scheme. Henry: You know, that's an oxymoron, Emily. Emphasis on moron. Emily: Trust me. This is going to work. And I'm not going to get caught doing anything illegal. Henry: That's because you expect me to get my hands dirty, don't you? Emily: No, no, no. The only one who's going to get her hands dirty is Meg.
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