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Wednesday, April 16, 2008 Henry tells Mike about Katie's wedding, and tries to convince him to let her go. Later, Katie asks Henry to be her "Male of Honor," and he accepts. Then he finds out that Brad has asked Mike to be his best man. In the meantime Katie has asked Jack to be the best man, which means 3 of Katie's 4 ex-husband are in her wedding party! Today’s episode was directed by Jennifer Pepperman. No writer listed due to writer's strike.
Transcripts from TVMegasite Henry: Oh, no. You're not getting an addiction to those shopping channels, are you, Mike? They sell those little dolls. You know, are you starting a collection? That's sweet. Mike: No. It was a wedding gift for Katie. She didn't want it. She didn't want me, either, as it turns out. Henry: Well, I'm sorry, Sport. But like I said, you should leave well enough alone. Mike: Yeah, I should have listened to you. Instead, I barged into her room and I kissed her -- Henry: Wait a second, you were in her room? Mike: Yeah, Lisa gave me the key. And I just -- yeah, God, it was such a bad idea. Katie ended up throwing me out. Henry: Ouch. Mike: I should have -- I should have just tried to fix the marriage when I had the chance. When she cheated with Simon, I just walked out, never looked back. Henry: Well, hey, Buddy, you were hurt, you know? Mike: So was she. I guess she's got Brad Snyder to take care of that now. What do you think, Henry? Is she -- is she really going with the right guy? Is he the right guy for her? Henry: I don't know, but she's smiling again. And I was beginning to worry that wasn't ever going to happen. Mike: So they had a few laughs together, you know. She is not in love with him. And you know why? Because she still has feelings for me. Henry: That may be true. But if she tossed you out of her room, it may not be the feelings that you were hoping for. Mike: Katie may be putting on a good show, Henry, but she is not over me. Not even close.
Henry: You might as well make peace with it, Mike. Katie is getting married today and you are not the groom. Mike: Where's the wedding? Henry: Well, it was supposed to be at Tom and Margo’s. But I guess Margo and Katie had some kind of falling out -- don't ask. So now they're doing it on the TV show. Mike: Seriously? Like a novelty act? Henry: No, no, no, no, no. I'm sure it'll be -- it'll be tasteful. Mike: I can't imagine Katie wanting to take something that is so personal and sacred and flaunting it on TV. Henry: Well, maybe she wanted the whole world to know that she and Brad are for real. Mike: And maybe if she really loved him, she wouldn't turn the whole thing into a three ring circus. Sounds to me like the bride is overcompensating. Big time.
Henry: You are delusional if you think you can stop Katie from getting married today. Mike: Watch me. Henry: It's not going to happen. You two are history. Can you just leave her alone, let her be happy? Mike: I'm sorry, Henry, I can’t. There's too much at stake. Henry: Sometimes it's no damn fun being right. Hey, good looking. Katie: Hey. What was Mike doing here? Henry: Just having breakfast. And what would the radiant bride like to eat? Katie: I'm not hungry. I was wanting to speak to Vienna. Where is she? Henry: Well, she's unfortunately been barred from the diner. Katie: I thought you two were doing okay now? Henry: No, it's nothing like that. She just -- she has the chicken pox. Katie: Right. Henry: No, I'm serious. I mean, she's contagious. She's quarantined. Katie: No, no -- this cannot be happening.
Katie: What am I going to do, Henry? Oh, Kim is going to kill me. Henry: That's it -- that's it -- Kim! Katie: My boss? Are you kidding me? How pathetic is that? I'll look like a loser. Henry: No, you are not a loser. You are far from it. Katie: There's got to be someone. How many women do you know who can't come up with one single person to ask to be their maid of honor? Henry: What about -- what about Nancy Hughes? You two are always so close. Katie: I love Nancy, but I'm not going to ask her -- I'm not going to put her in the middle of this family feud. There has to be someone else. Henry, please, think. Henry: I am thinking. I'm thinking, I'm thinking -- I'm just coming up -- I'm coming up dry here. Katie: How is that? That's not you. You're Henry Coleman. You're my go-to-guy. You're my best friend. You -- oh, my God, it's right in front of me. Henry: What? No, no, no, no. Katie: Oh, come on. Henry, you haven't dressed up for me in ages. Henry: No, forget about it, Bubbles, okay. You bring out a bridesmaid dress, and this is the end of a beautiful friendship. Katie: You stood up for me once before. Henry: Yeah, I married you once before, too. That doesn't mean I want to do a comeback tour. Katie: Well, I was just kidding about the bridesmaid's dress. You can wear whatever you want. Come on. You'll be my male maid of honor. You'll be my male of honor. The fans will love it. Henry: There's just -- there's only one problem. Katie: What's that? Henry: Brad asked me to be his best man and I said yes. Katie: So, you'll just move over to my side of the altar. Henry: Really? And then what about Brad? How is he going to feel if I ditch him on his wedding day? Katie: He has plenty of guys to ask. His family is loaded with them. He'll be fine. But you're my best friend in the whole world and it would really mean the world to me if you would just stand next to me, please. Come on, Henry, do this for me. [Henry sighs]
Katie: Please, Henry. Henry: Oh -- Katie: Pretty please. Henry: Stop it. Katie: You'll be my best friend-of-honor. My stand-up-guy. Say yes. Say yes! Henry: Okay, okay, okay. You know how to break a man down. All right, I'm in. Katie: I love you. Love you, love you. Henry: There's just one condition, Katie. Katie: Anything, name it. Henry: I will not carry a bouquet. Katie: You got it. Henry: Great. Now you have the unfortunate job of telling your groom that he does not have a best man, and you cannot blame it on me. Katie: I wouldn't dare. Brad will be fine with it. He's been bending over backwards to make sure this wedding is everything I've ever wanted. Henry: Well, that's because he's crazy about you, you know that? Katie: I know. And I love him, too. And when we say our vows, Margo and everyone else who had their doubts is going to see that we really do belong together. Henry: Yeah. Can I offer a suggestion to sort of nudge that along? Katie: Yeah, I'm listening. Henry: Well, Brad still needs a best man, right? So, what if he asked Jack? That will prove that you Guys have left the past behind and are moving on. Katie: But asking the brother who was once married to the bride? I don't know. Brad will never go for it. Henry: Then I guess it's up to you.
Henry: Uh, brace yourself. Brad: Why, who did she ask? Henry: You're looking at him. I'm -- Brad, I'm sorry, she did everything but get down on her knees. I couldn't say no. Brad: But who's going to stand up for me, Henry? Henry: I'm -- Pal, I'm really sorry -- Brad: I thought -- I thought you were my friend? Henry: I am your friend. But I'm Katie's friend first and besides she assured me you would have no problem finding a replacement. A Snyder man, perhaps? Brad: Like who? J.J.? Parker? Forget it. I have an idea. Man, I don't know why I didn't think of this before? It's a no-brainer. Henry: Brad, no-brainer -- not a good sign.
Henry: That is insane. Mike: I thought it was crazy, too, at first. But then simple curiosity got the best of me. Henry: Really? That's why you said yes? You just wanted to see what happens? Mike: Yeah, why not? Henry: Why not? Well, for starters, Mike, I just convinced Katie to ask Jack to do the honors. Mike: Do you think he'll say yes? Henry: He's never been able to say no. So what we're going to have is Brad with two best men that'll be ex-husbands of the bride, and then Katie's going to have another ex as the male-of-honor. Let me ask you something, Mike. Does that sound like a recipe for success, or a fast-track to disaster? Mike: We'll find out, won't we? Henry: Okay. Will you do me a favor? Mike: What's that? Henry: When the preacher says speak now or forever hold your peace, would you put a sock in it?
Henry: Okay, Kasnoff, what do you have up your sleeve? Mike: Nothing. Henry: Nothing? Won't it be a tad hard watching Katie marry another man? Mike: I'm not saying it won't be painful. But if Katie can do it, so can I. Henry: And if Katie can't do it? Is that kind of what you're hoping? Mike: I'll see you at the wedding, Henry. Henry: Oh, Boy. Lights, camera, action.
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