|
|
Tuesday, April 18, 2006 Today’s episode was directed by Maria Wagner and written by Judith Donato.
Transcripts from TVMegasite Emily: Don't move, okay. I've got to get my phone. Don't move. Hello? Henry: Ditch the groom, I'm coming in. Emily: Mother, I am so not in the mood. Henry: You better get in the mood or I will talk. Emily: That's not really necessary, now, is it? Henry: When the cops find out that you hid Dusty's bloody duds in Meg's car, it'll hit the fan so fast you're going to smell like you were born in Emma Snyder’s barn. Emily: Fine, fine. Good-bye. My mother. She's coming over. Paul: Oh, to give us her blessing? Emily: Or her curse. I'm sorry. Don't be long, okay? I love you. Paul: Okay. Yeah, I'll be back as soon as I can. Emily: Okay. Orange is definitely your color, Meg. [Knock at the door] Extra, extra, read all about it. Meg Snyder’s -- Henry: Where are you holding him, Em? Where are you holding Dusty Donovan?
Emily: How should I know where Dusty is? Henry: Oh, let me count the ways. Emily: I did not kidnap Dusty. Henry: Really? Like you didn't plant his clothes in Meg's car? And what is the haute couture for kidnapping victims these days? Is it a birthday suit with a stunning accessory of leg irons? Emily: What is it with you? I thought you were happy for me. Henry: I thought your evil twin had gone back into the mirror where she belongs. Emily: I am just fine, thank you. Henry: Meg's not fine. Dusty's not fine. I'm not fine, I'm not fine! I am the one that slipped the lock on Meg's car. I called her, told her to meet me at the old mill. By the way, on our way there, she happened to get pulled over by the cops. Do you think she's forgotten about that little confab? Emily: Meg is in no shape to blame anybody. Henry: Well, you know what? You know what? That road, all of Meg's problems, they all lead back to me. And if the cops follow that trail, I get an all expense paid trip to the slammer. Emily: For Pete’s sake, it isn't illegal to ask somebody to meet you somewhere. Henry: I don't know if I mentioned this, but I am going to bring up your name a lot. So for every year of prison time the cops put on the table for me, I'm gonna make sure they save ten for you.
Emily: Henry, you are not going to jail. Henry: I'd love to have that in writing, Emily, I really would. Emily: The police have a solid case against Meg. Henry: We know this how? Emily: Because I was married to a cop, remember? There are two colors in their world, black and white. Henry: As opposed to your hallucinogenic oranges and pinks and lavenders. Emily: Meg loved Dusty. Dusty dumps Meg. Henry: Yeah. Emily: Dusty sleeps with Jennifer. Meg wants revenge. Case closed. Henry: Where did you get the clothes? Emily: You know what, I think it would be better for everybody if we just didn't have this conversation. The only thing you need to know is that nobody knows you broke into Meg's car. We're clean. Henry: We're clean? We're clean as my gym socks. Emily: Oh, don't grow a conscience on me now, please. Innocent people go to jail every day, Henry. Henry: Not because of me! This whole whacky adventure of Emily and Henry -- it is over! I don't care about the money. I don't care about your obsession with Paul and I don't care about you. I don’t. Emily: Thanks a lot. Henry: What? Emily: Ooh. Henry: What "ooh?" Emily: I've got a surprise for you. I was going to save it for later, but I think it's the perfect time. Follow me. Henry: Emily, come on. Emily: No, I think I have just what you need to make you feel all better. Come on.
Emily: No, no, Henry. No, no, no. Come on, please. It's just right out on the terrace. Just -- oh, don't be such a chicken. Henry: No, no, I'm afraid of heights. Check that. I'm afraid of being thrown from heights. Emily: I couldn't toss you off my balcony even if I wanted to. Henry: Really? I think you could toss Dusty over your shoulder, take him out to the middle of nowhere, and then leave him for dead. Emily: I didn't kill Dusty. Henry: The day is young. Emily: Fine, stay, worry yourself silly about Meg, Paul, Dusty, world peace, global warming, how to pay your tab at the Lakeview. I am going to go out on my terrace and enjoy this beautiful spring air. Henry: Maybe a bucket of water will melt her. Emily: She can hear you.
Emily: Mmm. It's never too early for a mimosa I always say. Henry: Is that what I think it is? Emily: This? Beat and battered, but still here. $1 million of B.J. Green's money. He's been gone a long time, Henry. I think it's safe for you to spend the money. What do you think? Henry: I always thought it was -- Emily: At my mother's? Henry: No. Out of reach. Emily: Oh, no, no, no, no. It's well within your reach. Not just yet. Henry: You know, I can almost hear the beating hearts of all those dead presidents. Emily: Here's how you get your money, finally, in the bonus round. You see all these people down there, Henry? Either you keep quiet about what happened with Meg, or I drop this briefcase and make this the luckiest day of their lives.
Emily: There's a lot of money in here. I wonder who's going to get lucky. Henry: You are a cruel woman, Emily. Emily: You know what, look, there's a guy on the corner with a tin cup. Hey mister, you better get yourself a bigger cup! Henry: Go ahead. Ya know what, give it to him. I can't spend that in Statesville, anyway. Emily: Oh, would you stop it. Don't waste your pity on Meg Snyder. Henry: I'm not talking about Meg, Em. I am talking about me. Trying to salvage what dignity I have left thanks to you. Emily: Fine. Take your stinking money and get out. Henry: Hey, Emily -- hey, you know what? Next time you feel the urge to throw something off the balcony, why don't you throw something that'll make the world a better place? You, for example. Emily: Henry, don't ruin my happiness. I am finally living my dream. Henry: Okay, you dream on, Malificent. Because I've got somewhere to be. I've got anywhere. Emily: Nobody walks out on me, Henry. Just ask Paul.
Henry: Fine, Em, fine. Go ahead. Please, shoot me. Please, put me out of my misery. Emily: Henry, I don't want you miserable, honestly. I hate when you're miserable. I like it when you're Hazel the happy maid, rifling through hotel rooms. I love it when you're drinking your martinis one after the other. I love just hanging out with you. Honestly, I just -- I'm being honest. I'm trying to just tell you I love you. Henry: Oh, lucky me. Emily: Henry, really, this friendship is the only thing that's made all of this bearable. Henry: Would you just shut up for a second, okay? Just stop the insanity here. For all our sakes. Please. Emily: I will. Henry: You will, really? Emily: Yes, I will. As soon as you give me the key to the motel room -- Meg's motel room. Henry: No! Emily: No? Henry: No, no! No, no, no. The only reason I helped you last night was to protect Meg. Emily: Right, and we did that. We protected her. She is safe in jail. But we need to keep her safe in jail together. Henry: No, the Lakeview has probably changed all the key codes. Emily: Okay, so then what's the big deal? Henry: The police, I am sure, have sealed the whole area, Em. Emily: Well, so then what is to worry about it? Henry, the key. Henry, you don't want to be walking around with incriminating evidence, do you? Henry: I hope you get caught. Emily: You don't mean that. I know you don’t. No, you don’t. Love you. Call me. Meg, you messed with the wrong bride.
|