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Friday, April 21, 2006
Today’s episode was directed by Jennifer Pepperman and written by Elizabeth Page.
Transcripts from TVMegasite Meg: So who am I waiting for this time? Cop: You'd rather be downstairs in a cell? Meg: Look, I just want to know what to expect. Three detectives and the D.A. already questioned me today. I mean, who's next, the commissioner himself? Cop: Don't ask me, I just work here. Henry: Hi, excuse me, hi. I'm wondering if you can help me out here. I'm wondering how long I have to wait to take care of a simple traffic violation? Yes, I have some points on my license. I understand that. But really, to be hauled all the way down here just because i ran a silly little stop sign -- I mean, sir, I ask you, is that fair? Cop: That's a question for the arresting officer. Henry: Okay, when will he back? Next November or -- Meg: Henry Coleman, I was just thinking about you. Henry: Well, that's -- that's very flattering. I'd love to talk to you about it, but I got somewhere I need to be right now. Meg: You are not going anywhere until you answer some of my questions! Henry: Ow, ow! Okay. Meg: When did you do it, Henry? Henry: Why is everybody making such a big deal about this? Everybody in town runs through that stop sign at Maple and 18th. They've got a tree there, and it's overgrowing the sign. Meg: When did you put Dusty's bloody clothes in my car, you weasel? Henry: Dusty's what in your where? Meg: How stupid do you think I am? You called me and asked me to meet you at the old mill. And surprise, surprise, I just happened to get pulled over by a cop. And you know what he finds when he searches my car? The so-called evidence you planted there! Henry: Shh, Meg, okay? I need you to understand this. As God as my witness, I did not put anything in your car. Meg: Then Emily did. Henry: Well, that's -- that's something you need to take up with her. Meg: Well, why should I ask her when I have her bosom buddy and trusty accomplice here. Henry: No, no, no, no, we are not "bosom buddies" about anything. I'm not even talking to her anymore. Meg: Yeah, right. Henry: I'm serious as a heart attack. Emily Ryan -- Emily Stewart, whatever she is calling herself these days, she is persona non grata to me. I rue the day that I ever got involved with her, and that is the God's honest truth. Meg: You mentioned God twice now, Henry. What, when have you experienced this religious conversion? Cop: Mr. Coleman, you can pay your fine now. Henry: Thank you, officer! Hey, perfect timing. Let me extend to you my heartfelt thanks. Buh-bye.
Emily: What, you want to come with me? Paul: Absolutely. We'll call the garage. Emily: Wait, I got a better idea. You know, Jennifer -- Jennifer called to talk to you. She didn't want to talk to me. You go see her, okay? I'll just hang out here. Paul: But you just said -- I mean, I thought the whole idea was for us to be together. Emily: Yeah, we will be together. Of course we will. But Jennifer needs you more now, so you go see her, and I'll take a nap. Paul: A nap? Emily: Yes. I'm exhausted. I told you, I didn't sleep last night. Paul: Oh, I'm sorry, Em. Some honeymoon. Emily: That's okay. We'll have our honeymoon. We have the rest of our lives to be together, okay? You just go see your sister. Paul: Yeah, you know, but the thing is that you're probably right, 'cause it's just a false alarm, you know? And if I go there, and it gets Jennifer's hopes up -- I think we should just stay here, have that champagne. Emily: Okay, that's a great idea. You pour the champagne, and I'll go out on the terrace and make sure it's warm enough that we can have our drinks out there. Okay? Pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up. [Phone rings] Henry: I'm almost drinking, Emily. This is not a good time. This is really not a good time. Emily: Too bad, I need you. Henry: Well, since even your phone calls seem to attract the cops, I don't think so. Emily: Henry, you need to get over here and distract Paul so I can sneak out of the apartment! Henry: Paul, as in the love of your life Paul? Emily: I need a break, okay? Henry: Well, I have a date. Emily: No, you don't! Henry: Okay, I maybe have a date with a maybe natural blond who's maybe in the lounge and maybe gonna meet me right now. Good-bye, Emily. Emily: Please don't hang up on me, Henry. Please, I need you. Please come over here. Henry: I'm only gonna say this once, Emily, okay? After the way you treated me the other day, holding my money over the precipice -- Emily: You'll get your money. Henry: Great. You'll get my attention when I do. Good-bye. Emily: Henry -- Paul: Spring has finally sprung. Emily: Yes, it has. Paul: It is so nice out. Emily: It is, isn't it? Paul: What a beautiful night. Emily: Thanks. Paul: Love is in the air. Emily: Yeah. Paul: Oh, man. You know, I feel like I've waited my whole life for this? I can finally just toast, to the love of my life, to my beautiful bride [Emily hits Paul over the head with a big flower pot] Paul? I'm sorry, honey. I'm so sorry. I'll make it up to you, I promise. I promise. [Jennifer comes up the hallway and sees Emily listen to the door a moment and goes after Emily]
Henry: And that's the problem with women, is they're liars. Bartender: Ain't it the truth? Henry: I mean, I'm -- I'm not an angel. Don't get me wrong, no sir. I mean, look at this. What is this? Is this seven? Have I had seven? Bartender: Seven. Henry: All right, let's make it eight then, huh? And charge it all to Emily Stewart Ryan. Oh, hey! Oh! Paul: Where is she? Henry: If it's not the blushing bridegroom. Paul: Where's Emily? Henry: What, did you misplace her already? I would've given you two at least a week. You know? [Henry winces] Ow! Paul: I know you're in on this with her, Henry. So help me. You tell me where she is. Bartender: Is there a problem? Paul: No, not at all. Can I get a scotch, please? Henry: I -- I can't breathe! No, Paul. Paul: You tell me what's happening, Henry, or I will make you wish you had.
Paul: You've only got one play, Henry, and this is it. You're gonna tell me where Emily is, and I will tell the police that you cooperated. Henry: The cops? They're gonna believe you? You've got a worse record than i do, Paul. Paul: You don't understand, Henry. Emily is a violent woman. Henry: Really? You two deserve each other. Paul: Where is she? Henry: I don't know! Paul: She tells you everything, Henry. You bought our wedding rings before I even agreed to go through with the ceremony. Now, you tell me where she is or so help me! Cop #1: Sir, I'm gonna have to ask you to step aside. Paul: This man is withholding crucial information. Henry: Yeah, I don't know anything and I told him that! Paul: You're lying. He's lying! Jennifer called me. She said she saw Emily go into an abandoned building and then Jennifer and I got cut off. Now you tell me where Emily is -- Henry: Or what? Or what, Paul? Officer, this man is obviously harassing me. Cop #1: All right. Paul: If anything happens to my sister -- Cop #1: You're under arrest. Paul: Look, my wife is missing and he knows where she is. Cop #1: You can call your lawyer over at the station. I'm sure he'll sympathize. Paul: If anything happens to my sister, Henry –
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