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Monday, April 24, 2006
Today’s episode was directed by Michael Eilbaum and written by Elizabeth Page.
Transcripts from TVMegasite Bartender: Are you okay, Mr. Coleman? Henry: Yeah, I'm fine. Bartender: Between you and me, I hope you press charges. You can't let him get away with that. Henry: With what? Throwing me up against a wall and shredding what's left of my dignity? I hope he gets life. Hey, I could use many, many martinis. Bartender: On the house. Henry: Thank you. Well, Emily, this is the last message you're ever going to receive. And it's way more than you deserve. Your beloved husband is onto you, and that is a fact that he made excruciatingly clear about ten minutes ago when he's threatened to rearrange my face if I didn't tell him where you were. So anyway, he's been arrested and that gives you a little bit of time to get out of dodge. Now I suggest you take advantage of this opportunity unless you want to spend the rest of your days in the penal system. So good-bye, Emily, good-bye. This is it, we're done. I don't ever want to see you or hear from you ever again. Susan: Henry, what has my daughter done now?
Susan: I've been trying to reach Emily all day. Henry: Yeah, and, well, that's a lost cause. If you'll excuse me. Susan: But weren't you just talking to her? Henry: No. Not that's any of your business, but I was leaving her a message. Susan: Why are you so angry? What is going on, Henry? Tell me. I'm her mother. I have a right to know if she's in trouble. Henry: She's a grown woman. And you know what? And if she is in trouble, trust me, you don't want to know. Susan: I do want to know. Obviously something is very, very wrong. Oh, I know. She's probably sworn you to secrecy. But you know and I know that she needs help. Her behavior these past few weeks has been totally irrational. Henry: I know. It's been a joy, it has. Susan: That's why we have to help her. Henry: No, I'm out of the helping Emily business. Susan: Since when? Henry: Susan, I got to go. Susan: Henry? Henry, what kind of friend are you? You stood up for her at her wedding, for god's sakes. You were her ring bearer. Henry: Not my choice. Susan: I don't understand. Henry: And I can't explain. I'm sorry, Susan, if that's rude in any kind of way. But when it comes to Emily, that's the best I can do. Susan: Henry, what have you done? Henry: Me? Susan: Have you done something to her? Have you involved her in one of your schemes? Henry: Oh my god. What is this, my fault now? Come on. Susan: Anybody who would encourage her to marry Paul Ryan -- Henry: That was her idea. Susan: He's paying you. He's paying you. That's why you cozied up to her in the first place. Henry: She cozied up to me. She cozied up to me, not that that's any of your concern. And as for Paul, he just tried to kill me, all right? Don't believe me, call the police. So, no, he is not paying me. No, we are not friends. Susan: He tried to kill you, why? Henry: Because he's as crazy as your daughter. Susan: You think he tried to hurt her? Henry: Like I said, Susan, he's in jail. Remember? Susan: Does she know? Henry: Why? You want to throw them another wedding? We're done here. Susan: Henry, don't leave now that you've -- oh, Henry!
Henry: Yes, Emily it's me again. I know I told you that message would be my last, but then I forgot something. It dawned on me that when I told you to get out of town as fast as your pointy little hooves would carry you, I neglected to mention the fact that I would appreciate it if you would tell me where my money is before you go on the lamb. When you consider I was under no obligation to warn you about Paul following you, it just seems to me that the nicest thing you could do is return to me what is rightfully mine. Thanks. Good-bye, Emily. Barbara: Why were you warning Emily about Paul? Henry: Barbara, can you wear a bell or something so people know when you're coming up behind them? Barbara: Emily and Paul were married last I heard. Henry: Yes, yes. And boy, we missed you at the wedding. What happened, did Paul forget to send you the invitation? Barbara: Maybe my son didn't want to subject me to watching him say his vows in a jail cell. Ever think of that? Henry: No, I think he just hated your guts. Barbara: Why don't you answer my question? Why were you warning Emily about her husband? Henry: Because he's a raving lunatic, Barbara. And because he brutally attacked me, without any provocation, mind you, less than an hour ago. Barbara: My son attacked you physically? Henry: Yes. Barbara: That doesn't sound like Paul. Henry: Well, you can tell that to my wrist. Fortunately, the Oakdale PD are a lot more sympathetic than you are. Barbara: You got the police involved? Henry: Yes, yes. Your bouncing baby boy is back in the slam. I hope he stays there this time.
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