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Friday, May 1, 2009 The baby foursome find out the results of the genetic testing, and Henry is surprised to find out that "Brad and Vienna conceived a perfectly healthy child." He becomes even more suspicious when he sees Vienna paying the "doctor." Turns out she hired a local comic to act as the doctor, so that Brad and Katie wouldn't find out that Henry is the father of the baby. Henry wonders why Vienna went to such lengths to conceal the truth, and Vienna wonders why Henry is so upset that the truth didn't come out. Today’s episode was directed by John O'Connell and written by David A. Levinson.
Transcripts from TVMegasite Henry: It's -- it's mine? No! No, there's got to be some kind of mistake. Are you saying -- I'm the father? So, what do you think? Which one should I go with? Vienna: Whatever you want to do is fine with me. Henry: You don't think that one is more authentic than the other? Vienna: No, not really. Henry: Vienna, sweetheart, how we react to the news is crucial. Vienna: I know how I'm supposed to react, Henry. Henry: Good. Good. Okay. Now I will think back, and then it'll hit me! Oh, my god! After the insemination, we didn't wear protection because we thought we were safe! Vienna: Oh, my god! I'm shocked. Henry: Sweetheart, you're gonna have to work on that a little, bit, okay? Because the number-one, crucial, vital point here is that we make it look like -- Vienna: I know. We can't let Brad and Katie suspect that we knew that this baby is really ours. So, we convince them of that, and then what? Henry: We wing it.
Katie: Hey, sorry we're late. Vienna: Oh, that's okay. Katie: Did you see the doctor yet? Vienna: Nope, not yet. Ooh, there's one. Henry: Yeah, that's not the person who ran the tests. We're waiting for dr. Chisholm. Dr. Schmeglitz: Hi, I'm filling in for dr. Chisholm because he's still in the delivery room. Katie: Oh, hi, I'm Katie Snyder. This is my husband, Brad. We're the parents of the baby. And this is Vienna Hyatt, who's carrying the child for us, and her partner Henry. Dr. Schmeglitz: Hi, I'm Dr. Shmeglitz. Henry: Dr. Shmeglitz? Brad: No offense, doctor. I don't think we're gonna be naming the baby after you. Katie: Brad! Brad: I'm sorry. You know, expectant father humor. So, I'm assuming you have the test results. Katie: Great. Well, we just want to make sure there are no abnormalities or genetic markers that are unusual. Dr. Schmeglitz: No, I'm happy to report the baby is just fine. Henry: Oh, doctor! No, no! No! There must be some sort of mistake! Katie: Henry, what? Brad: Dude. Henry: Wait. Wait, what? Dr. Schmeglitz: No, Brad and Vienna have conceived a perfectly healthy baby.
Katie: Thank you so much. Brad: Yeah, thank you so much, doctor. You're welcome. Henry: I don't mean to keep questioning you, dr. -- Shmeglitz, but are you sure these results are conclusive? Brad: Henry, the doctor's made things pretty clear. Are you trying to find something wrong here? Henry: No, no, no. I'm just -- I'm trying to make sure there's no room for error, you know, not even the tiniest little bit. Vienna: Henry, nobody made a mistake, okay? Can you excuse us for a second? Thank you. Katie: What is wrong with you? Brad: Yeah. Why can't you just be happy about the good news? Henry: I just want to be sure. Brad: We are sure. Shmeglitz said it himself. Vienna and I created a very healthy little bambino, and that's exactly what we all wanted to hear. Vienna: Right. Brad is absolutely right. Brad: I don't care who says it or why, but those are words to live by, and I say we need to celebrate. Who's in? Katie: I am. Vienna? Vienna: We can't. Katie: Why not? Vienna: We have to go back to metro and take care of some things. Henry: Yeah. Vienna: But you two should celebrate, and wonderful news. Katie: Okay. Yeah, we will. Vienna: Okay. Katie: I'll call you? Vienna: You'd better. Are you okay? Henry: I'm shocked. I-I can't believe -- I mean, I didn't think that -- Vienna: What? Henry: I thought that you and I had made -- it couldn't be Brad's baby because we had the ultrasound that said that there was no way -- Vienna: Forget about that. Obviously the technician was wrong, and -- and it won't make you feel any better. Henry: I guess you're right. I guess you're right. Vienna: It's better this way. It's easier. Henry: Yeah. Yeah. Dr. Shmegilla is beckoning you for some reason. Vienna: Maybe he wants to talk about his bill. Henry: His bill? No, no, no, no, no. We have insurance. It's all in the paperwork. This is why we should've waited for dr. Chisholm! Vienna: Well, maybe I should just figure out what's going on so he can go back to his work, okay? So, thank you for everything, doctor. And please tell dr. Chisholm we said hello. Dr. Schmeglitz: I'm glad everything worked out for you. Vienna: So am I.
Henry: Answer me, Vienna. What did you do? Vienna: I didn't do anything. Henry: No, I-I've been to the doctor with you before, several times, and I have never seen money exchange hands until today. So, one more time, what is up with you and Dr. Schmagoo? Vienna: Why are you being like this? Henry: Oh, my god. You bribed him. Vienna: No. Henry: Yes, you bribed him! You paid him to break his Hippocratic oath. Vienna: How can you say that? I would never do such a thing! Henry: Only you did, sweetheart. Vienna: No, I didn't. Because he never took his Hippocratic-tatic oath! Henry: How do you know that? How do you know that?! Vienna: Because he's not a doctor. Henry: What? Vienna: He's a comedian. Henry: What? Vienna: He's a stand-up comedian. I met him here at metro, and I asked him to do me a favor. Henry: You paid him to pretend to be your doctor. Why? Vienna: You know why. Henry: Vienna, sweetheart, we agreed that the results of the genetic test would be the best way for the truth to come out that this -- this baby is mine. It's really mine. Vienna: Yes, it is. Henry: And yet, you get this doctor, this guy, this very unfunny guy, by the way, to tell Brad and Katie that it wasn't. How could you do that? Vienna: Why don't you answer something for me? Henry: What? Vienna: Why are you so upset that Brad and Katie didn't find out that this is your baby?
Henry: All I'm saying is they have rights. They should know that you're carrying my baby and not Brad's. Vienna: Why? Henry: Why, because they're our best friends, and we can't lie to them forever. Vienna: We made a deal with them. Henry: We made a deal, and that was for their baby. That's not what happened. Vienna: Okay, so, you want to tell them the truth? Henry: I think it's only fair. Vienna: Okay, fine. Fine. So we'll them that I am carrying your baby, not Brad's. Henry: Thank you! Vienna: Then what? Henry: Then it is all out in the open! Vienna: Then what if they don't want the baby? Henry: Sweetheart, they would never renege on that. Vienna: But why would they want a baby that is not theirs? Henry: Because -- because they're not like that. Because they want to be parents. Vienna: She might want to try again. And then they might want to use a different surrogate, too. Henry: Right, okay. Then what'll we do with that baby? Vienna: I'm not comfortable giving Sven to strangers to raise. So I guess we'll just have to keep him. Henry: Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no. I see what you're doing here. No, no. Vienna: Well, isn't that why you're so upset, because you want us to raise our baby? Henry: No. No, no, it's not. It's because I am not comfortable lying to our best friends. Vienna: Oh, you're a fine one talking about lying. You, who's doing everything you can to avoid admitting the truth! Henry: Oh! Whoa! What about you, who's doing everything she can to twist things around to hide the truth?! [ Vienna gasps ] |
