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Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Henry interrupts Barbara's date with Pilot Joe and scares him off.  To make up for it, he takes Barbara out for dinner and dancing at Metro, where there's a disco dance contest.  They enter and dance beautifully together!  They win the contest after another dancer takes a spill in the bathroom, which Barbara may or may not have orchestrated.

Today’s episode was directed by Sonia Blangiardo and written by Janet Iacobuzzio.


Transcripts from TVMegasite

Barbara: So, what do I have to do to prove to you that I'm over Henry?

Joe: Well, maybe you just have.

Barbara: You have a lovely voice, you know. Very authoritative. I mean, what is it about the pilots always sounding -- I mean, come on. Say it.

Joe: Say what?

[Both laugh]

Barbara: One of those things that you say to passengers, you know. Come on. Come on, Captain Joe. Say it.

Joe: Flight attendants, prepare for landing.

Barbara: That's it.

Joe: You know, I can do a lot more than talk, you know.

Barbara: Mm, I'll bet you could.

Joe: Well, actually, I was referring to my dance skills.

Barbara: Really? You like to dance?

Joe: Close, touching. The way it's supposed to be.

Barbara: Wow. Is that a proposition?

Joe: I can settle up the check and take you somewhere to prove it. You know, there's a new dance club I've been wanting to try with the right partner.

Barbara: Do you always ask for what you want?

Joe: Saves time.

Barbara: I see.

Joe: You interested?

Barbara: I am. Why don't you settle up, and I'll be right back.

Joe: Check, please.

Henry: Hey. I don't mean to interfere, but did I hear you just ask that woman to go dancing with you?

Joe: Who the hell are you?

Henry: I'm just -- I'm just here to warn you that that is a bad idea. I know that woman, and she is very dangerous on the dance floor.

Joe: Dangerous?

Henry: Danger-- how could I put it delicately? She -- she has been known to make a scene, "Whoa!" On the dance floor, okay?

Joe: How can you do this to her?

Henry: I -- I'm just trying to help you out, okay? Man to man.

Joe: No, really, Paul. How could a son do this to his mother?


Henry: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm not the man who you think I am.

Joe: Oh, no?

Henry: No, no. Trust me. No.

Joe: A grown many hanging onto his mother's apron strings. Do you have any sense of how pathetic that is for someone your age?

Henry: I think we're a little off point here about it, Joe.

Joe: You know, your mother's been very up front with me about you, Paul. She told me how you tried to get between her and her ex-boyfriend Henry.

Henry: Her ex-boyf-- is that how she referred to Henry?

Barbara: Please leave. You have no business here.

Henry: Wait. Wait a second. You think I'm just gonna sit here while you throw yourself on the first pair of pants that walks by?

Joe: Now, just a damn minute.

Henry: You're not her type! You're just here!

Barbara: Do you want me to have you thrown out? Is that it?

Henry: Come on. I know about men like you. I mean, you're a pilot, for crying out loud!

Joe: Meaning?

Henry: Meaning -- meaning you're never in the same place for more than eight hours! So, you walk in. You see this beautiful, sophisticated, sexy woman all vulnerable, just sitting there, and you make your move. You know what, buddy? Maybe that works in Denver, or Atlanta -- [Spits] But here in Oakdale, we men stand by our women!

Barbara: Good Lord.

Joe: What? She's your mother.

Henry: What? No, she's not -- she's not --

Barbara: Joe, can we leave? Please, can we just leave?

Joe: Oh, oh, I'm going, but not with you. You know, I've seen some sick things before, but this takes the cake.

Barbara: Wait a second! There's is a big misunderstanding!

Joe: You got that right. Good luck. You'll need it.

Henry: I know you don't see this now, but one day you're gonna thank me.

Barbara: Why wait?


Barbara: I suppose this is a rhetorical question, but how low can you go?

Henry: I'm sorry. I can't hear you. Swimmer's ear.

Barbara: While you were planning a wedding and a baby with Vienna, you still find the need to scare off any man who shows me the least bit of attention?

Henry: Look, I'm not!

Barbara: Oh, yes, you are! You basically told that very nice pilot that I am crazy and that he should stay away from me.

Henry: I mean I am not doing what you said with Vienna.

Barbara: Who does this? Who does this? Who sabotages an ex-love's prospects, huh? What did you say?

Henry: I mean I am not marrying or having a child with Vienna.

Barbara: Since when?

Henry: Since we thought about it, and it's not an option, okay?

Barbara: You've broken up with her?

Henry: The idea is on hold.

Barbara: Oh, I see. So you keep me on a string and refuse to allow me any happiness and keep Vienna on the back burner just in case, and I just wanted to have dinner with a very handsome man and not think about you handcuffed to some bedpost making love to Vienna or watching her walk down the aisle in some maternity wedding gown that I designed or worry about the fact that my cancer is coming back! Is that too much to ask?

Henry: Wait, wait, wait, wait. What did -- wait a second. Have you seen a doctor?

Barbara: Oh, forget it.

Henry: No, I will not! I will not forget it! Sit back down! I will not forget it! Are you sick again, Barbara?

Barbara: I have my three-month appointment coming up with my oncologist, and I always get very anxious before that, and I will get anxious about these appointments for the rest of my life, and that's just how it is with a cancer survivor, Henry.

Henry: I'll go with you.

Barbara: Go with me where?

Henry: To the checkup, like I did before.

Barbara: No, thank you.

Henry: I want to support you.

Barbara: I support myself, and I wanted to have dinner with a nice man and go dancing, and you ruined all that.

Henry: I'm sorry.

Barbara: You should be.

Henry: I am, and I know how I can make it up to you.


Barbara: You know, you really didn't have to take me to dinner.

Henry: Okay, fine. I won't, but I can give you that night of dancing that you wanted.

Barbara: Here at Metro?

[Dance music plays]

Barbara: No, Henry. Captain Joe was gonna take me someplace dark and sexy where people still touch each other when they dance.

Henry: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Barbara: You -- you've got to be kidding me. Disco dancing?

Henry: You don't have to go back to the 1940s to find a dance style where people touch each other, you know.

Barbara: You've got to be out of your mind. It's a contest.

Henry: Mm-hmm. And we're gonna enter it. And win.


[Alicia Bridges' "I Love The Nightlife" plays]

Barbara: We don't stand a chance.

Henry: They're posers.

Barbara: Look at them! They're Tony Manero and Stephanie.

Henry: Who?

Barbara: This is bad, Henry. We've got to go.

Henry: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.


Henry: See? No big finish. We can totally take them.

[Cheers and applause]

Tanya: Yeah!

Barbara: We're gonna look like a couple of amateurs out there.

Henry: You have no idea what I'm capable of on a dance floor.

Barbara: That's what I'm afraid of.

Henry: Okay. Then you lead.

Barbara: Oh! What?

Henry: I'm kidding.

[Donna summer's "Last Dance" plays]


Henry: Wait for it.

Barbara: Uh-huh.

Henry: Wait for it.

Barbara: Aah! Oh!

Henry: And we are tied! We are tied with --

Tony: Us.

Barbara: Wow!

Tanya: I guess when you're old enough to remember this kind of dancing, you have an advantage.

Henry: You're meowing up the wrong tree there, Lady. Hi, I'm Henry.

Tony: Tony.

Barbara: Barbara.

Tanya: Tanya. I need to fix my lips before the next round.

Barbara: Me too. We can totally take them.

Henry: So, you guys -- you guys are really good.

Tony: So are you two. How long you been partnered up?

Henry: Well, that's -- that's really complicated, actually. Oh, you mean the dancing.

Tony: Huh?

Henry: Uh, never mind.

Tanya: Tony!

Henry: What happened?

Barbara: Wet floor. Poor thing. Didn't see the sign.

Tanya: There was no stinking sign!

Henry: Really?

Barbara: Oh, it's -- it's not about winning.

Henry: It's about the age crack?

Barbara: What?

Henry: Barbara, you would have wiped the floor with her, even without the twisted ankle.

Barbara: You know what? I think you're right.

[Cell phone ringing]

Henry: Just, uh --

Barbara: Yeah. It's -- it might be Vienna. She might need you.

Henry: [Sighs] Hello?

Vienna: Henry, I'm sorry. I hate fighting with you.

Henry: It's okay.

Vienna: You're sweet to say that, but it's not okay. Please come back to my room so I can make it up to you. I mean, what we have is too special to just let it slip away. You're not busy, are you?

Henry: No, not anymore. I'll be there soon.

Barbara: Yeah. Vienna. I -- I said she -- she probably needs you. So, um, let's not make a big deal about this, okay? I was very angry with you before, but this was a blast. And, besides, we won by default. Kind of anticlimactic.

Henry: It was great. And you are incredible. Thank you.


Vienna: Oh, this hurts so much. I could cry. It's dirty and underhanded but necessary.

[Knock on door]

Vienna: Thank you for coming, Henry. I knew you would.

Henry: Are you all right?

Vienna: I'm fine. I'm sorry.

Henry: You're crying.

Vienna: Yeah, I have been since you left.

Henry: I'm sorry.

Vienna: No, don't be. You know what? You were right. You really were. I don't even know who I am anymore.

Henry: Vienna.

Vienna: Just to consider tricking you into getting me pregnant so you just have to marry me.

Henry: This is -- this is complicated for both of us.

Vienna: Yeah, I know. I know this is no excuse, but I love you so much. I would do anything to keep you, anything, and I didn't bring you here so I could just cry on your shoulders.

Henry: Vienna.

Vienna: I brought you here -- [Sighs] I brought you here to tell you that you can take whatever time you need in order to be sure about us.

Henry: Really?

Vienna: I want to do this right, and I know I've gone on about it the absolute wrong way, but I know everything is with good intentions. I know that deep within my heart. So I want you to take whatever time you need. And I'm not going anywhere. So here. I want you to take this back.

Henry: Vienna.

Vienna: No. I know that someday you will put this back on, and I will never, ever take it off, and you would realize that we are a perfect match, just like -- just like dancers are when they look into each other's eyes and they know what the next step is.

[Henry sighs]


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