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Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Henry tells Vienna that he's ready to be a father to their baby, but she doesn't believe him.  She thinks he's just jealous of Brad.  She still wants to give the baby to Katie and Brad because they've grown so attached to it, and they can have babies of their own later.  They go over to Brad and Katie's to apologize for the way Henry acted, but they have already found out the truth on their own.  Henry and Vienna admit that they were lying when Katie and Brad confront them.  They try to explain themselves, but Katie is devastated that her best friends would lie to her about something so important.  She tells them she doesn't want them in her life anymore.

Today’s episode was directed by Sonia Blangiardo and written by Gordon Reyfield.

Transcripts from TVMegasite

Henry: That's what I said.

Vienna: No, no, no, no, no. That's not what you meant. It couldn't be. Because that means that you want to raise this -- this child together with me. You would be a father. And that word always gave you the hives.

Henry: I know, I know. The idea's just grown on me, I guess.

Vienna: Oh, my god.

Henry: No, listen to me. I want to be a father to this child. To our child. You and me and baby makes three.

Vienna: Oh, god.

Henry: I want -- I want to apply for pre-schools. I want skinned knees. I want rubber duckies. I want acne. I want SATs. I want to go broke paying for college. I want the whole ball of wax. I want it all.

Vienna: Henry Coleman. I don't believe you.

Brad: This doesn't make any sense.

Katie: This is Dr. Shmeglitz. I know it.

Brad: Yeah, but bob didn't recognize the face or the name.

Katie: Which means he's not even a doctor, and he lied to us. But why?

Brad: Well, there's only one way to find out.

Vienna: You're only doing this because you're jealous.

Henry: I'm not jealous.

Vienna: No, I know you. You don't like it when Brad's touching me, but he -- he's not touching me. He's touching the mother of his child.

Henry: That's the mother of my child -- that's the problem.

Vienna: No, once we give Brad the baby, he's not gonna be touching me anymore, and you don't have anything to be jealous about.

Henry: I'm not jealous! Maybe I am a little bit. But that's not why I want to keep the baby.

Vienna: Then it's stress. It's stress. You're stressed because you're left out, because Brad and Katie and I, we've been all focused on the baby and not enough on you, right?

Henry: God, you think I want to keep the baby because I want attention?

Vienna: No, no, no, no. I know that we hurt your feelings when we didn't tell you about the parenting class. I know that. But maybe if we -- we bring you more into it --

Henry: Sweetie, no, no, no. Come on. You don't understand. I don't want to keep the baby because I'm jealous or because I feel left out. I want to keep it because I want to be a father to this child.

Vienna: No.

Henry: Yeah.

Vienna: Why? Why after all these months do you have this sudden change of heart?

Henry: I don't know! I don't know, I just do!

Vienna: No, no, that's not -- that's not good enough, Henry! It's not good enough! You've always told me that you have bad genes and you have no patience, you want nothing to change in our relationship together!

Henry: I know, I know I know. I remember all that. I remember it.

Vienna: And now all of a sudden, all magically, you want this baby? Then nothing you said was true.

Henry: It is. It's all true. I love you. And I know that you love me. And I love the fact that there's a part of both of us growing inside of you.

Vienna: That's beautiful, Henry.

Henry: I know, it is, isn't it?

Vienna: But when I said the same thing, you kept fighting me.

Henry: I know. I know I did. And here we are. Something that wasn't supposed to happen in the first place. It's like you and me being together. Here we are. And all I can think about is a beautiful little girl with your beautiful blue eyes.

Vienna: No, no, no, no. This is -- this is Brad and Katie's baby.

Henry: No, it's not. It's not. It's ours. It's yours and mine. And something I don't even deserve. And I know -- I know I'm not gonna get candidate for father of the year or anything like that. I know it's not -- there's no way on earth this could possibly happen, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't give it a try. Say it's what you want, too.

Vienna: Of course it is! This is what I've always wanted! But being Katie's surrogate was the only way I thought I could even get remotely close to it! But having a baby with you -- that's my dream!

Henry: That's wonderful!

Vienna: No! No, it's terrible!

Henry: What do you mean, it's terrible? We're talking dreams come true here!

Vienna: Don't you understand, Henry? It's too late.

Katie: There he is.

Brad: Hmm.

Katie: I don't know. Maybe this is a mistake.

Brad: Oh, there's been a mistake, and he's the one who's made it. Hey! Look, honey! It's Dr. Shmeglitz! How you doing, doctor? Are you at Yo's for a house call?

"Dr. Shmeglitz": I'm sorry, my name is Samuel Litz.

Katie: Oh, well, in that case, Sammy, we have a couple questions for you.

Brad: Who are you, and why were you pretending to be our doctor? And if you don't come clean, you think you're gonna be doing stand-up tonight, you're not, because you're not gonna be able to stand up.

"Dr. Shmeglitz": I don't know anything about your baby, okay? I only said what she paid me to say.

Brad: "She"?

Katie: Who is "she"?

Henry: Look at me. It's not too late. Okay? It's not. I know I've been a complete idiot, and I didn't know what I wanted when it was right there in front of me, but I do now. Can I get a do-over?

Vienna: Of course you could. If it was up to me. But it's not up to us anymore. Too much time has passed. And Katie and Brad, they've grown too attached to this baby.

Henry: Our baby.

Vienna: No, it's theirs. That's what they're thinking. And we promised it was.

Henry: And we go to them and we explain and we make them understand.

Vienna: What do you want to do, just go over there and tell them, "oops, we made a boo-boo and the baby is ours and we're keeping it?"

Henry: No. I'm sure we're gonna have to put it better than that.

Vienna: No. There is no better way. What you're talking is kidnapping.

Henry: Excuse me?

Vienna: No, this -- this baby has meant the world to Brad and Katie. Ever since they knew about it. Can you say the same? Huh? I -- I can't bear to think of how Katie will feel. She's been so happy and so excited ever since she found out, and just the thought of bringing this baby into their lives.

Henry: I know, I know, I know. She's already got the nursery fully stocked.

Vienna: It would break her heart. Both their hearts.

Henry: What about our hearts?

Vienna: No. No. I can't do this. Katie's my first female friend. I never knew I could have a friend like that. I can't do this to her. This baby belongs to Brad and Katie. The next one is ours.

Henry: What are we supposed to do? Are we supposed to just give away our flesh and blood?

Vienna: No, we're supposed to keep our promise. Just like we planned. And they will never know the truth.

Brad: I mean, I just don't get it. Why would some woman pay a comedian to pretend to be a doctor?

Katie: You know, I don't even care anymore. The only thing I care about is that our baby is okay.

Nurse: What exactly did you need to know?

Brad: Okay, see, we all got tested -- me, Vienna Hyatt. She's the mother of the baby.

Katie: He means our surrogate.

Brad: Right, right. And we just want to make sure there was no genetic bad news.

Nurse: The baby seems to be perfectly fine.

Katie: Oh, thank god.

Brad: See, look, I told you, there was nothing to worry about.

Katie: Thank you so much. You have no idea what a load off this is. What? What's wrong?

Brad: Nothing's wrong. She just said the baby was perfectly fine.

Katie: No, no, no. You just saw something in that file, didn't you?

Nurse: I really should get Dr. Hughes.

Katie: No, no, no, no. You're not going anywhere. Not until you tell us that everything with our baby is okay.

Henry: You can't just go handing out babies like puppies from a litter -- one for them, one for us.

Vienna: I feel the same way, but what's done is done. We have no choice.

Henry: The hell we don't, Vienna! We keep the baby, or we give it to them? I know which one I choose!

Vienna: Oh, yeah, yeah, now you do, but you had that choice earlier, but you just didn't take it!

Henry: Well, I -- maybe I needed it to be real for me, okay? When I went in there and saw Brad crouching down, waiting to catch our baby -- my baby, I kind of lost it.

Vienna: And that makes me love you even more.

Henry: You see? You get me like I get you. We think alike. We have to keep this baby. We might be the only people that understand it.

Vienna: Oh, Henry, you're breaking my heart. If I had known that you could feel this way, I would never have offered to be Katie's surrogate.

Henry: If I had known I could feel this way, I never would have let you volunteer in the first place. I'm so sorry, sweetie, it took me so long to come around. But I'm here now, okay? Give me a chance to make things right.

Vienna: What if they already are right? Think about it.

Henry: I think about it constantly.

Vienna: Well, think some more. We don't have to make any decision. We don't have to tell Brad and Katie anything yet. We can just go to their house and talk.

Henry: Talk? What are we supposed to say? "I'm sorry, you're gonna have to find someone else to carry your baby"?

Vienna: No, no, no, no. You'll give them an apology for the way you acted in parenting class, and then we'll just take it from there.

Henry: Okay, I owe them that much, at least.

Vienna: No, you owe them a lot more than that. And when we're all together, look into their eyes and think about how much it would hurt for them to lose this baby, especially when we might be their only chance to have one.

Henry: Vienna, that's not our fault.

Vienna: Yeah, but how can we take that away? How could we take that away from them? Especially when we know that we can have all the babies we want in the future?

Henry: I'll think about it.

Brad: There is no way I can't be that baby's father.

Katie: Look again. You're just gonna have to look again.

Brad: Look, I don't care what genetic profiles say -- I'm that baby's daddy.

Katie: This was artificial insemination. There's no way Brad can't be the father. Unless there was some sort of mix-up at the lab.

Brad: Did you mix my boys up with someone else's? 'Cause if you did, we're talking, like -- we're talking major lawsuit here.

Nurse: I'll go get the doctor to explain things.

Katie: My god. This is horrible. Some random donor is the father of our baby because of some hospital mix-up.

Brad: Okay, okay, let's -- let's not freak out until we know that's what happened.

Katie: Oh, my god. This cannot be true.

Brad: Okay, look, I don't read doctor-ese, so --

Katie: It says the artificial insemination failed.

Brad: Then how can Vienna be pregnant?

Katie: I think I know. I think we both do.

Henry: Hey!

Vienna: Your worries are over! I found Henry, and he feels terrible about it.

Henry: Terrible! I behaved completely inappropriately. I'm very, very sorry. And I brought botbaby back to its rightful parents.

Katie: Oh, no, get that thing away from me.

Henry: What's wrong?

Brad: Are you seriously asking that question?

Katie: What's wrong is that we forgot who we were dealing with. We actually thought that you and Vienna were two people that we could trust.

Henry: What's gotten into you?

Brad: What's gotten into Katie? Why don't you ask what's gotten into Vienna? Because I think the answer to that question is pretty damn interesting. But you already know that, don't you, Henry?

Henry: I don't know what you're talking about.

Katie: Yes, you do! And you do, too, Vienna. You two have known for weeks what Brad and I just found out a few minutes ago.

Vienna: What did you find out a few minutes ago?

Brad: We looked at the medical records. You're not having my baby. You're having Henry's.

Katie: Oh, god! Oh, I prayed that I was wrong, but I wasn't. I thought you two maybe were just as in the dark as we were, but you weren't, were you? You've known this whole time that you were pregnant with Henry's child?

Vienna: No, no, no, no, not the whole time. In the beginning, it was --

Henry: Let us explain.

Brad: You had weeks to explain, Henry!

Vienna: It didn't happen the way you think.

Katie: I knew it, I knew it! I knew something was wrong! I knew that Henry was too over possessive of that baby, but I made all kinds of excuses. The truth was right there under our noses. But we could have never guessed, because you're our friends, our best friends. You were like family to us.

Henry: We never wanted to lie to you.

Vienna: Everything we did, we did it for you.

Katie: No, you didn't. You're still lying to us. You didn't do this for us!

Brad: You lived in our house and you lied to us. You smiled in our faces and you lied to us. You hired a stand-up comic to pose as our doctor so you could keep lying to us?

Vienna: Brad, Katie, please let us explain. We didn't start it out as a trick. When I found out that I wasn't pregnant with your baby, I couldn't tell you. I couldn't tell you the truth.

Katie: Why? You should have forced yourself!

Vienna: I couldn't bear to see you devastated, and all of a sudden, we didn't mean it to happen, but I got pregnant with Henry right away, and --

Katie: Oh, my god -- so this was just an accident? Brad and I try and try for months and we don't have a successful pregnancy, but you didn't even mean to, and you got pregnant? That's supposed to make me feel better?

Vienna: I'm trying to tell you how it happened. And, yes, it was an accident. Henry didn't want the baby. And you and Brad, you wanted a baby so much, and I thought it was happening for a reason. And so we agreed that we would give this baby to the two of you, just as we planned.

Katie: How could you do this to us? How could you ever imagine that letting us fall in love with that baby was a good idea?

Henry: Listen, give Vienna some slack here, okay?

Katie: No. Why?

Henry: Because she loves you, and this is killing her just as much as it's killing you. If you want to blame anybody, blame me.

Brad: All right, fine, you want blame, then you got it. Okay, you got it. But did you seriously think you'd be able to pass your kid off as ours?

Vienna: It is yours. It is yours.

Henry: We haven't decided that.

Vienna: No, yes, we have. We're gonna keep our word, okay? We're giving this baby, our baby, to you, for you to raise as your own.

Brad: Are you guys crazy?

Katie: We wanted Brad's baby, not Henry's.

Henry: I know. I know. And none of us wanted things to turn out this way.

Vienna: We can still work it out.

Katie: How are we supposed to do that?

Brad: So what are we gonna tell little Brad when he comes out looking like uncle Henry, you know, and when he figures out he's not good at football, but he's damn good at playing the ponies?

Vienna: Tell him the truth.

Katie: Would you please stop using that word?

Vienna: No, many children are adopted. Many children are adopted. It doesn't make a difference.

Katie: Vienna seems to be doing all the talking. What about you, Henry? You want us to raise your child?

Vienna: Yes, of course he will -- tell them. Tell them!

Henry: You know I'd do anything for you, Katie.

Katie: But you wouldn't give us our baby, would you? Of course you wouldn't. Just as we wouldn't take it. But I don't blame Henry for getting attached to this baby, because I feel the same way.

Vienna: Which is why you should have this one.

Katie: No. Are you crazy? Even if you gave us that child, it would never truly be ours.

Vienna: If you loved it, it would be yours.

Katie: Maybe. Maybe if you told us all of this from the very beginning. Maybe if you told us when you lost -- when you lost our baby and got pregnant with Henry's, maybe it would have been okay then. But it's too late.

Henry: Don't say that. Don't say that. You just need some time.

Katie: No, we don't want your baby. And we don't want you in our lives.

Henry: You don't mean that. You don't mean that. You've been, like, my best friend forever.

Katie: I thought you were mine, too.

Henry: I am, I am, I am. Please. I love you so much, sweetheart. So does Vienna.

Brad: What you two did to Katie is so far from love.

Henry: Don't, don't. Don't end our friendship over this. Not after everything we've been through together.

Vienna: Please.

Katie: No.

Vienna: Let us make it right.

Henry: I know this is my fault. This is all my fault. And if I had just -- if I had been honest about my feelings about the baby in the first place, then I would have saved all this heartache. Okay, but you've got to understand, I never meant to hurt you.

Katie: But you did. Don't you see that? You hurt us both. You let us fall in love with our baby, our baby that was never ours to begin with. You broke our heart.

Vienna: It doesn't have to be this way, Katie. I'm willing to give up my own baby for you.

Katie: But you lied about the most basic, the most sacred thing on earth. How do you come back from that?

Henry: Bubbles, bubbles, don't do this. Please, please, don't do this. Please.

Brad: You heard my wife. I think it's really important that you two pack your stuff and leave.

Brad: Wait. Just a minute. Just a minute. We need the keys -- keys please.

Vienna: Katie. Please.

Vienna: This is what I was afraid of. Of losing our best friends. And we just did.

Henry: I know. I can't bear the thought of it, either.

Vienna: I was gonna go maternity shopping with Katie tomorrow.

Henry: I'll go with you.

Vienna: No. It's not gonna be the same thing.

Henry: I know. I know how you feel.

Vienna: You were getting close to Brad, too.

Henry: Yeah. Yeah, I was finally teaching him about the finer gins in life. And Katie is -- Katie is a part of my life. She's always gonna be a part of my life. Just like this baby. And now we don't have to give it up.

Brad: Listen to me. [ Katie sniffs ] We don't need them. There's other ways to be parents. I mean, there's tons of babies out there.

Katie: I don't want to talk about other babies. I don't want to think about other babies. I just need to grieve for the one that -- that we didn't even know we lost. [ Botbaby crying ] Oh, would you get rid of that thing! Wait, wait, wait. It's okay. It's okay.

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