|
|
Monday, June 14, 2004 Today is the beginning of the "Six Keys to the Kingdom" contest, and poor Henry is desperate for a partner! Unfortunately Katie is too preoccupied with Simon and Mike. People all over town are reading about the contest in the City Times, and hurrying over to the Lakeview to sign up. Henry is one of them. "You're abandoning me? After everything we've meant to each other?" he pleads to Katie. "I'm sorry, Henry. You know that I would love to be your partner..." says Katie. "Listen, we could buy the bunnies a brand new hutch," tempts Henry. "If we won," adds Katie. "If we won? What are you talking about? With your tricky little brain and my gift for the devious. We're naturals," Henry assures her. Katie mumbles something about Simon. "Oh, Simon! I hate this. I hate this. Okay, just once. Please, just once let best friend trump runaway husband. Come on," begs Henry. Katie says that since he's just returned to town, she needs to devote herself to him. Henry asks her why she feels the need to do that. "Katie, if you were 1000% sure that Simon was the man of your dreams, you wouldn't think twice about spending an afternoon or two or three with me," says Henry. "He's my husband and I love him," says Katie simply. "And Mike?" questions Henry. "I thought this was about you," says Katie, not answering the question. "This is about Simon and why you suddenly feel the need to devote yourself to him," says Henry. Katie says she wants her marriage to work. "And it'll stop working if you don't devote yourself for a minute and a half and let your mind wander?" asks Henry. "I don't want my mind to wander," says Katie. "Because it'll wander over to Mike," states Henry. "Henry..." warns Katie. "You love him," says Henry. "And he betrayed me. He sided with Pilar. And you and I ended up in that horrible mental hospital. And Simon rescued me. Okay, he's my husband and we were very happy with - before he left," says Katie defensively. "Twice," Henry adds. "What is with you? I thought you liked Simon," says Katie. "I do like him. But if you're not happy..." says Henry. "I am. Or I will be. If I work at it. And I will. Because Simon is worth the effort. I trust him, Henry. I know he wouldn't betray me," says Katie confidently. "Let's forget about Mike. Forget about Simon. Let's just think about me for a second, okay? Your roommate, your best friend, the guy who went to the looney bin and back for you," says Henry. Katie tells him she can't do it. "I need you, cupcake. I need you. I need you like G.W. Needs Florida, okay? I need you like Houdini needs his thumbs. Okay, without you I'm nothing. I am bupkus. You're the only partner I have ever wanted. You're the only partner I'll ever need. Now promise me, okay, you'll be my one and only," pleads Henry. Suddenly he sees a woman that he knows, and realizing Katie's not budging, he approaches her. "Myra! Sweet lips. Hey, Henry Coleman. Tell me you're looking for me like I'm looking for you. Tell me that you'll be my partner in the 'Six Keys to the Kingdom.'" "Back off, martini boy! One more word and I'll call the cops," she says. "Let me make it up to you, Myra, baby, please." She walks away and Henry goes back to Katie. "That is one petty woman. So she lost a lousy six grand, you know? What? Did I tell her to draw an inside straight? Well, maybe I did. But you know what? Buyer beware, that's my motto. All's fair in love and war. And love is love, but poker, poker is - what's wrong?" he asks. "Are you having second thoughts about partnering with me? Kasnoff," says Henry, knowing that's what it always is. "I'm sorry, I can't help it. You're right, I do still love him. But he sold me out, and I can't - how can I - I can't. I'm with Simon now. And I belong with him. And no matter how long it takes, I'll get over Mike and I'll be happy. I will," Katie assures him, again. Katie has left to be with her husband, and Henry is still trying to find a partner. The man in charge of the contest is asking for the entry forms, so he's running out of time. "Casey Hughes. How ya doin'? Long time no see, buddy," says Henry. "Whoa. I'm not your buddy," says Casey, a little disgusted. "Since when?" asks Henry. "Since you stole my camera," answers Casey. "Uh - you - hey, we win this thing, you can buy any camera you want. Within reason," Henry promises him. "You want me to partner with you?" asks Casey incredulously. "Why, Casey, thank you very much. It's an honor," says Henry graciously. Casey tells him he's partnering with his dad, the D.A. "Lovely man. Lovely man, your father," says Henry. Tom appears next to his son and says, "I'm glad you think so, Henry. He's not bothering you, is he, son?" " Me? Bother Casey? Come on," laughs Henry. "Because you know what, I'll bet his mom would have something to say about that," says Tom. "My mom, the detective?" Casey reminds him. "Yeah - right. I think that's Katie calling me. Ciao," says Henry, realizing he's lost this battle too. Henry has found another victim - Curtis. "That time you needed Cubs tickets..." begins Henry. "And you took my money and spent it at the track?" finishes Curtis. "I invested the money. I would have tripled our money. Come on, we could have had box seats," he says. "How was I supposed to know the horse was lame?" Aaron tells Henry to back off, he and Curtis are partners. "Wow. You know what? You two guys are short-sighted. This is a contest. You need me. Wait, wait - time out. I've got an idea. I'll be the silent partner. We'll split the winnings three ways," suggests Henry. "I got an idea. How about you be the invisible partner and just split?" laughs Aaron. Henry laughs with them until they leave, then mutters, "Ingrates. All of them." Today’s episode was directed by Christopher Goutman and written by Elizabeth Page.
Transcripts from TVMegasite Henry: You're abandoning me? After everything we've meant to each other? Katie: I'm sorry, Henry. You know that I would love to be your partner -- Henry: Listen, we could buy the bunnies a brand new hutch. Katie: If we won. Henry: "If" we won? What are you talking about? With your tricky little brain and my gift for the devious. We're naturals. Katie: It's just -- normally, I'd love to. But Simon's just -- Henry: Oh, Simon! I hate this. I hate this. Okay, just once. Please, just once let "best friend" trump "runaway husband." Come on. Katie: But -- do you know -- it's just -- he just got back. And I have to devote myself to him. Henry: Why? Are you trying to prove something? Katie: What do you mean? Henry: Katie, if you were 1000% sure that Simon was the man of your dreams, you wouldn't think twice about spending an afternoon or two or three with me. Katie: He's my husband and I love him. Henry: And Mike? Katie: I thought this was about you. Henry: This is about Simon and why you suddenly feel the need to devote yourself to him. Katie: Because -- because I want my marriage to work. Henry: And it'll stop working if you don't devote yourself for a minute and a half and let your mind wander? Katie: I don't want my mind to wander -- Henry: Because it'll wander over to Mike. Katie: Henry -- Henry: You love him. Katie: And he betrayed me. He sided with Pilar. And you and I ended up in that horrible mental hospital. And Simon rescued me. Okay, he's my husband and we were very happy with -- before he left -- Henry: Twice. Katie: What is with you? I thought you liked Simon. Henry: I do like him. But if you're not happy -- Katie: I am. Or I will be. If I work at it. And I will. Because Simon is worth the effort. I trust him, Henry. I know he wouldn't betray me.
Henry: Let's forget about Mike. Forget about Simon. Let's just think about me for a second, okay? Your roommate, your best friend, the guy who went to the looney bin and back for you -- Katie: I know. I'm sorry. I just -- I can't -- Henry: I need you, cupcake. I need you. I need you like G.W. Needs Florida, okay? I need you like Houdini needs his thumbs. Okay, without you I'm nothing. I am bupkus. You're the only partner I have ever wanted. You're the only partner I'll ever need. Now promise me, okay, you'll be my one and only -- Myra! Sweet lips. Hey, Henry Coleman. Tell me you're looking for me like I'm looking for you. Tell me that you'll be my partner in "the six keys to the kingdom" -- Myra: Back off, martini boy! One more word and I'll call the cops. Henry: Let me make it up to you, Myra, baby, please. That is one petty woman. So she lost a lousy six grand, you know? What? Did I tell her to draw an inside straight? Well, maybe I did. But you know what? Buyer beware, that's my motto. All's fair in love and war. And love is love, but poker, poker is -- what's wrong? Katie: Nothing. Henry: Are you having second thoughts about partnering with me? Kasnoff. Katie: I'm sorry, I can't help it. You're right, I do still love him. But he sold me out, and I can't -- how can I -- I can't. I'm with Simon now. And I belong with him. And no matter how long it takes, I'll get over Mike and I'll be happy. I will.
Charlie: It's show time, folks. I need those forms. And this is twosomes only. You have to have a partner to play. It takes two to tango. Henry: Casey Hughes. How ya doin'? Long time no see, buddy. Casey: Whoa. I'm not your buddy. Henry: Since when? Casey: Since you stole my camera. Henry: Uh -- you -- hey, we win this thing, you can buy any camera you want. Within reason. Casey: You want me to partner with you? Henry: Why, Casey, thank you very much. It's an honor. Casey: I'm partnering with my dad. The D.A.? Henry: Yes. Casey: I think you've met? Henry: Lovely man. Lovely man, your father. Tom: I'm glad you think so, Henry. He's not bothering you, is he, son? Henry: Me? Bother Casey? Come on. Tom: Because you know what, I'll bet his mom would have something to say about that. Casey: My mom, the detective? Henry: Yeah -- right. I think that's Katie calling me. Ciao.
Henry: That time you needed Cubs tickets -- Curtis: And you took my money and spent it at the track? Henry: I invested the money. I would have tripled our money. Come on, we could have had box seats. Curtis: Our money? Henry: How was I supposed to know the horse was lame? Aaron: Back off, Henry. He's my partner. Henry: Wow. You know what? You two guys are short-sighted. This is a contest. You need me. Wait, wait -- time out. I've got an idea. I'll be the silent partner. We'll split the winnings three ways. Aaron: I got an idea. How about you be the invisible partner and just split? Curtis: That was good. Aaron: You liked that, man? That's for you. [ Laughter ] Henry: Ingrates. All of them.
|