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Friday, July 10, 2009 Geneva Swift is called upon to do an emergency reshoot for "Oakdale Now." Unfortunately it's bad timing for Henry as he's just brought Vienna into the hospital. He asks Katie to cover for him and heads to the station in his Geneva Swift get-up. Later Brad finds him changing at the house, so Geneva admits her attraction to him. Today’s episode was directed by John O'Connell and written by Gordon Rayfield.
Transcripts from TVMegasite Henry: Don't panic. She'll be fine. You know, if you don't get up soon, I'm gonna have to add you to the specials. Vienna: I'm getting up. Henry: Well, the floor would like an ETA for your feet. Vienna: Yeah, just give me a minute. My back feels so much better when I'm lying down. Henry: That's why god invented beds. Vienna: Yeah, no, I can't be in that room any longer. It's driving me crazy. You know, I got to get back to work. Henry: Is that what you call this? Vienna: Yeah, no, I don't. I mean "Oakdale Now." Henry: Oh. How are you gonna do that? Vienna: What choice do I have? Katie can't do it, and I'm supposed to be filling in for her. Henry: Well, I don't know. Brad and that Geneva seem to be doing okay. Vienna: How can you say that to me when you know how I feel about that awful woman? Henry: I'm just -- all I'm saying is the fans seem to like her. That's it. Vienna: Okay, great. Just help me up, please. Henry: You sure? Vienna: Yes. Henry: Okay. Vienna: Ooh! Henry: There you go. Welcome, ladies. Oh, hey, hey! I really like your buttons. I'm a big fan of her myself. Vienna: Okay, what are you wearing? Henry: Vienna -- Vienna: No, no, no, no, no. This is a joke, right? Henry: Let me show you to your table, okay? Vienna: No, let me show them out. Ladies. Vienna: I'm not having that face in my restaurant. Henry: Vienna -- Vienna: Ow! Oh, my back! Henry: What is it? What is it? Vienna: Oh, it's another spasm. Henry: Is it bad? Obviously, it's bad. Henry: No, it's just like the first one. And it's all due to Geneva Swift! [Vienna groans]
Vienna: Oh, god. I can't believe I did this again just by closing a door. Henry: Well, you -- you shoved it pretty hard, and you were in a rage. Vienna: Oh! I -- is this gonna happen every time I move now? Henry: Backs are tricky, sweetheart. But the first spasm went away, so I'm sure the next one will, too. [Vienna groans] Vienna: What if it's not a spasm? What if it's really serious and I have to be flat on my back for the rest of my life? Henry: I can think of worse things. Vienna: No, Henry! Henry: I'm sorry. I was just trying to cheer you up. Vienna: Yeah, well, you're not. Henry: All right. I'll go find a doctor, okay? Vienna: Yeah, you do that. [Vienna groans]
Nurse: I need you to fill out those insurance forms. Henry: Right, right. Vienna: You'll be here when i get back? Henry: Of course I'll be here. Vienna: I love you. Henry: I love you, too. Yeesh. Insurance forms. Brad: What are you doing here? Henry: Vienna threw out her back again. Brad: Is it bad? Henry: Well, they're taking her to an MRI. What are you doing here? Brad: Katie -- she had a twinge. Henry: A twinge? Brad: Yeah, but don't say it like that. I mean, a twinge could be the start of something worse. Henry: I'm sure Katie will be fine. Brad: Hey, listen, I need you to do me a solid, okay? I got to go to the studio to do a reshoot. Can you keep an eye on Katie until I get back here? Thank you so much. I owe you, okay? Henry: Katie? Katie: What are you doing here? Henry: Vienna had to get an MRI on her back, and Brad said you had a twinge. Katie: Yeah. He forced me to come here, but I'm fine. How's Vienna? Henry: Well, she's in pain. It's Kim. Katie: Oh. Brad had to go to the studio for a reshoot. I bet Kim wants Geneva, too. Henry: Now, on no notice on my day off? Katie: Welcome to show biz.
[Geneva's voice] Henry: Boy, I would love to come in and redo the segment. I -- I think it's vitally important that people know, uh, about the value of fish oil. But there is a -- a meeting of the citizens against nudity at -- the garment workers hall, and -- and I never miss a meeting. Kim: I'm sure the other anti-nudists will understand. Henry: Actually, no, they would not. Kim: You know, Geneva, I hate to keep sighting your contract to you, but you are required to be available every morning we tape in case we have to reshoot something. Which we do. Henry: I'll be there as soon as I can. Kim: Thank you. [Henry sighs] Henry: What am I gonna do? Katie: Go to work. Henry: In what? All my dresses are at the cleaners. I have nothing to wear. And what about my hair and -- and the makeup? And what about Vienna? Katie: Well, so don't go. Brad can handle it. Henry: Would you do something like that -- just not show up? Katie: Well, no, but I'm a professional. Henry: What am I, chopped liver? Katie: I'm just saying this is my career. Henry: Well, maybe Geneva would like to follow in your footsteps. Katie: Geneva? Henry: Well, she wouldn't be the first woman that you inspired to go into the media. Katie: She'd be the first woman I've inspired who isn't a woman! Henry: Maybe so, Katie, but the point is, she's not gonna be that irresponsible. Katie: She'll do whatever you want her to do! She's you! Nurse: Mrs. Snyder, the doctor said the tests were all negative. Katie: Oh, great. I thought so. Can I go? Henry: Uh, what about Vienna Hyatt? I -- is she back from the MRI yet? Nurse: Not yet. Katie: I told Brad it was nothing. Henry: What am I going to do? I can't sit around and wait! Katie: So you're just gonna bail on her? Henry: On contract! Katie: Oh, Henry! Henry: No, look, can you stick around and wait, just make sure she's okay? Please! Come on! Geneva's career is at stake here. Katie: Geneva doesn't exist! Henry: Maybe so, but she's not gonna disappoint her fans.
Brad: This woman is never on time. Kim: Yeah, you know, that's really annoying, isn't it, when people are late all the time? Brad: You call me. I'm here. I mean, why can't she do the same? Kim: Ah! I don't know. Because she's new to it? I don't know. She likes to get ready at home. Brad: Well, I'm surprised she has a mirror that isn't cracked. Kim: Don't get personal. Brad: Okay, let's get professional. Whatever you're paying this woman, I guarantee you, it's too much, Kim. Kim: Let it go, pal. Geneva is a ratings rocket, and we're gonna ride her as long as we can. Brad: Can you please find another way to put it? Kim: You've got a point there. Henry: Ooh! It's like an oven out there. Kim: Hi! Henry: You can bake an omelet on the sidewalk. Brad: Okay, thank you for that news flash. Can we please get this over so i can get back to enjoying my day off?! Henry: Yes, I'm ready. Kim: Good. Henry: We are redoing the piece on fish oil. Kim: Uh, actually, that was pretty boring. Brad: I thought it was a sound glitch. Kim: Well, it was, but as long as we're gonna reshoot it, let's do something more interesting. Brad: Like what? Kim: Well, I'll let you know after we start rolling. I don't want to spoil the magic. Brad: What? Henry: Oh! Magic. Kim: No matter what happens, don't let them stop rolling. Kim: Okay, everybody. Places. And 5, 4, 3, 2 -- welcome back to "Oakdale Now." Our next topic is something that really effects everybody eventually -- sex after 40. Henry: Ooh! And here to help us discuss this is our new lifestyle correspondent, ms. Geneva Swift. [Geneva laughs nervously] [Brad laughs] Brad: Okay, come on. Okay, cut. Kim: What? Brad: Okay, well, just look -- look what your, like -- you know, your new lifestyle correspondent is doing. Henry: I'm trying not to wilt. Brad: Okay, well, you know, it's -- disgusting. Henry: I'm dying over here. Brad: Well, maybe it's hot flashes. Henry: What would be wrong with that? [Brad laughs] Henry: I thought we were treating this subject seriously! Kim: Oh, we are. Henry: Well, then, why is he laughing? Brad: Okay, you know, actually, no, you know what? I do. I think it's the perfect subject for us, because, um, I've never been over 40, and you've never had sex. So --
Henry: I'll have you know that just because I adhere to a strict moral code does not mean that I'm some inexperienced naif! Brad: Is -- is that so? Henry: You have no idea what I'm talking about, do you? Let me -- let me put it to you simply. Henry: Geneva Swift is just as familiar with the sensuous arts as the next woman. Brad: The what? "The sensuous arts"? Henry: That's right. Brad: Why can't you just say it? Henry: Say what? Brad: "Sex"? I mean, it's a simple word, three letters -- "s-e-x, sex." Henry: I apologize that I have more than grunts in my vocabulary. I will make this easy for you. Sex is wonderful. But it belongs in the bedroom, behind closed doors, at night, and not on daytime TV. The truth is -- the truth is that it gets even better after 40, hmm. We experienced women know what we want, know how to get it. We know our way around a man's body as well as our own. Brad: You're starting to sound like a cougar. Henry: I am not a cougar! I am a lioness -- pride of the pride! And I am sure there are many other mature women out there that could be lionesses, too. Kim, let me hear you roar. Roar! Kim: Roar! Henry: Roar! Kim: Roar! Henry: That's my girl. Kim: And cut. Whoo-hoo! Brad: You were rolling? Kim: Yes. Of course! Brad: You're seriously not gonna air that, Kim. Kim: You bet I am! Woman all over Oakdale are gonna be roaring. Henry: I have no idea what came over me. Kim: Whatever it was, don't lose it. Henry: Well, I meant every word. There is no age limit on romance. Phew! [Brad sighs] Brad: Holy cow. I -- I can't believe it took me this long to figure it out. Henry: Figure out what? Brad: Okay, you can -- you know, you can stop pretending. I know the truth. Henry: What truth? Brad: It's -- I mean, it's obvious, you know? I just can't believe it -- I don't know, that I didn't see it before. Henry: See what? Brad: Come on. Come on, Geneva. Just admit it. Henry: I have no idea what you're talking about. Brad: Yeah, yeah, yeah, you do. You want me. I mean, that's why you keep coming back here. You -- you hide it. You do. You hide it better than most. But, I mean, it's -- it's pretty obvious. Henry: Better than most? Brad: Yeah. It's nobody to be ashamed of. Henry: Oh, my god! Oh, my god! Your ego's breathtaking! Brad: Okay, you -- you know that I'm married. I love my wife. I would never cheat on her. And you know something? You and I -- we don't play in the same league anyway. But you know what I mean. I'm sure that there's someone out there for you. [Henry laughs] Henry: Oh, my god. Vienna. Brad: Or maybe in America. Henry: I -- I have to go. Toodle-oo! Kim: What the hell was that? Brad: A woman who just lost the love of her life.
Katie: [Cell phone rings] Where are you? Henry: How is she? I just have to change. I'll be right there. Katie: It was another spasm. I'm taking her home to rest. But you've got to change back into Henry and go spend some time with her. She's really upset. Henry: About what?! Katie: About you! She thinks there's another woman. Henry: That's ridiculous. Katie: Tell that to Geneva Swift. [Henry sighs]
[Geneva's voice] Henry: Brad?! Hello! Liberty?! Brad?! Anyone? Anyone? [Normal voice] Good. Man, it is hot! [Henry sighs] Oh! [Henry screams] Brad: Oh, hey. Hey, what are you -- what are you doing here? Henry: Turn around! Brad: Why?! Brad: I'm half-naked! Brad: No, is Katie here?! Katie! Henry: No, Katie's not here! Brad: How did you get in here?! What, do you have a gun or something? You come here to kill me? Because, you know, I didn't mean anything I said at the studio. I mean, that was -- look, that was just for camera. That was just for ratings. Henry: I'm not gonna kill you, you moron! Brad: Then why are you here? Henry: Because -- you were right at the studio. Brad: Right about what? Henry: I want you.
Henry: I know this -- this seems sudden and unexpected, maybe a little inappropriate. Brad: And wrong. And very, very -- wrong. Henry: If loving you is wrong, then I don't want to be right. Brad: Oh, oh, okay! Are you crazy?! Can you just get out of here, please, now? Go. Henry: Did you hear what I said? Brad: Yes, I -- I heard what you said. And don't say it again. I mean, what would your friends at the citizens against nudity think about you breaking into a married man's house and getting undressed? Henry: They'd say, "the heart wants what it wants." Brad: Oh, just -- just stop it! Just stop it! Henry: Why? Why is it so hard to accept Geneva Swift is human? Brad: I accept it. It's fully accepted, okay? Can you now -- can you get out now? Go. Henry: Fine. And if you change your mind -- Brad: I won't, ever. Henry: Arrivederci, il mio amore. Brad: Get out! Now.
[Henry sighs] Vienna: Where have you been?! Henry: Did you get the test results from the MRI? Vienna: Uh, if you really cared, you wouldn't have left me alone at the hospital. Henry: No, I didn't leave you alone, sweetie. Katie was there. Is she the one that brought you home? Vienna: I want to know where you were. Henry: It was unbelievable! I was out there filling out the insurance forms when this -- this poor, demented woman staggered out of another room, right into my arms. And I called for some help, and it was too late. Vienna: What, she died? Henry: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. And I -- I just thought it was best to tell the family that she hadn't passed in pain. And by the time I got back to you, you were gone. Vienna: W -- well, why didn't you answer your cell phone? Henry: I thought that would be disrespectful to the dead. Vienna: Oh, I'm so sorry. That must have been horrible. Henry: Oh, only for her, the poor soul. Vienna: Oh, you're such a good man. [Henry sighs] Henry: Does that mean that you forgive me? Vienna: Of course I do. I love you. Mm! Henry: Mwah! I love you, too. Vienna: Why are you wearing lipstick?
Henry: Um, oh, wow! I guess when I was, uh -- when I was giving mouth-to-mouth to that poor, doomed soul, then I guess some of her lipstick must have rubbed off on me. Vienna: Why did you give mouth-to-mouth? You were surrounded by nurses and doctors. Henry: I didn't think. I just reacted. A life was at stake. Vienna: Okay. I'm so proud of you, Henry, but would you mind wiping it off? Henry: Of course. Vienna: All right. It's an awful shade. Henry: You don't like it? Vienna: No. It looks too much like the lipstick that Geneva Swift wears. Henry: You would know better than I. Vienna: Okay, the show's on right now. Henry: Don't you want to lie down and rest? I could give you a back rub. Vienna: No. I want to see what that crazy witch is doing this time. Henry: I am not a cougar! I am a lioness -- pride of the pride! And I am sure there are many other mature women out there that could be lionesses, too. Kim, let me hear you roar. Roar! Kim: Roar! Henry: Roar! Kim: Roar! Henry: That's my girl. Vienna: Oh, my god! Henry: Yeah! She is really kind of interesting, isn't she? I mean, in like an everywoman kind of way. Vienna: Oh, and what am I? Henry: Oh, sweetie, you're -- you're unique. You're special. You're one-of-a-kind. Vienna: I'm going on that show tomorrow no matter what. Henry: No, no, what about your back? Vienna: No, even if it kills me, that woman needs to go. And you know what? Now I'm gonna have a hot bath. [Cell phone rings] Henry: Hello. Katie: Did you really try to seduce my husband? Henry: I didn't have a choice! Katie: Are you serious? Henry: I was changing, and he walked in on me. Katie: Henry, this has to stop. Henry: No. No, as long as Vienna wants to be on television, Geneva will stand in her way.
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