Henry Recaps

Friday, August 5, 2005

Henry has fallen and he can't get up. He hurt his back falling down the stairs, thanks to Maddie, and Katie has called Mike to help out.

Henry is sitting on the floor, leaning against the couch uncomfortably. "I feel like Quasimodo, Katie," he says. "Funny, you kinda look like him, too," jokes Katie. "Oh, really? Lon Chaney or Charles Laughton?" asks Henry. "Oh, I was thinking the cartoon version," says Katie. Henry laughs and winces, "Oh, no, no, no. In this instance laughter is not the best medicine." Katie offers to put a pillow behind his neck, but Henry says his neck doesn't hurt. "Yes, but it will take pressure off of your back," explains Katie. "Oh, really? How about another martini? That'll take pressure off of everything," suggests Henry. Katie has a better idea, and tells Maddie to keep an eye on him while she's gone. "Wow. She is crazy about you. It is a good thing that you fell down the steps here, where she has no choice but to take care of you." "Maddie, I don't know what it is that you're expecting. Whatever it is, it's not healthy. And I want you to stop before..." There's a knock on the door and Henry continues, "Hey honey, you wanna get that? You know, my foot isn't quite long enough to reach the knob." Maddie opens the door to find Mike. He puts his hand on the door and lets himself in, saying, "Just in case you were gonna slam the door on me again. Katie called me over, said it was an emergency." "Mike, is that you?" calls Henry. "What happened?" asks Mike, walking over to the couch. "What's the matter, you've never seen a guy do yoga before?" asks Henry. "Okay, what really happened?" repeats Mike. Maddie explains that he fell down the stairs, and Mike asks if they called a doctor. "I don't need a doctor," insists Henry. "But we do need help. Thank you so much for coming over," smiles Katie, as Maddie rolls her eyes.

"Where exactly does it hurt?" asks Mike, crouching down to Henry's level. "Not counting my pride? Lower back, slightly off center," says Henry. "You fell down the entire flight of stairs?" asks Mike. "No, just the last three, Mike. Does that make a difference?" asks Henry, impatient. "I'm just trying to talk to you so you don't go into shock or something," says Mike. "It's my fault. I left a slipper on the stairs and he tripped over it," explains Katie. "No one's fault, not really. It was an accident," says Maddie. "Right. So, what do we do now? I have cold. I have heat. I can never remember which one you use," says Katie. "Cold. But I think we should call a doctor," says Mike. "No, I don't need a doctor. I just need to get up on the couch," says Henry. "Which is why I called you, Mike," adds Katie. "I'm not sure we should move you," says Mike. "Look, I can't stay down here on the floor, okay. Just help me up on the couch, please. Please, Mike, please," begs Henry. "All right, all right, all right. But then we're calling Bob Hughes. No arguments from anybody," says Mike. "No arguments, okay. Okay, here we go," says Henry. Mike and Katie lift Henry up on the couch as he screams in pain.

Henry is lying on the couch and Dr. Bob is packing up his medical bag. "All right, doc, you want to tell these worrywarts that there's nothing wrong with me?" says Henry. "Well, if you mean anything major broken, I think that's a safe assumption. But you really did bruise your back muscles and you've managed to also bruise your tailbone," says Bob. "Is that anywhere near my ego?" asks Henry sheepishly. "We've got to get that swelling down and I want you to have an MRI. But until then, I really want you to take it easy. Keep icing your back and take these anti-inflammatory pills four times a day," orders the doctor. "Thanks for coming by on such short notice, doc," says Mike. "Glad to oblige. You know, it's good that you called me. You can't be too careful with back injuries," says Bob. "See?" says Katie. "All right, I stand corrected," admits Henry. "You're not going to be standing for the next few days. I want you to stay off your feet. We'll give it 48 hours, you give me a call, and we'll re-evaluate," says Bob. "I will make sure he follows orders. Thank you so much," says Katie, walking him to the door. "Glad I could help. Good night, all," says Bob.

After he leaves Henry asks Maddie to get him the phone book. Katie asks him what he needs and he answers, " If I'm going to stay bed-ridden, I need a bed! Don't I? And a room to go along with it." "Don't be silly, Henry, I told you you're staying here," says Katie. "I'm not staying here in the middle of your living room," protests Henry. Katie and Maddie ask him why not. "I'm going to find a cheap motel. Okay? What's that one with the cowboy wallpaper?" asks Henry. "The Wagon Wheel? That place should be condemned. Henry, you're not staying there. And you heard what Dr. Hughes said. You need to be off your feet at least 48 hours," says Katie. "She makes a good argument, Henry. You don't need to be shuffling from place to place in your condition," says Mike. "Of course, you can’t. You could end up in like, traction or something!" says Maddie. "So I am going to set up a little table for you. For food, drinks, whatever else you need," says Katie, "I'll give you a little bell so you can ring it when you want something." "Yeah. Can I have like, a little cocktail shaker and a little bowl of ice on the table?" asks Henry. "Vodka and pain pills, that's a really good idea," says Mike sarcastically. "I'm not going through this without martinis, okay? I'm not going to do it. I will tough out the pain," says Henry. Mike offers to pick up the prescription, and Katie says, "Oh, no. I’ve got it. You've done enough already." "Yes. Yes, you have. And thank you, so, so much. I'll walk you to your car. Okay?" says Maddie, leading Mike to the door.

"Maddie, why don't you slow down now? I'm not sure Mike is ready to go yet," cautions Henry. "Oh, I'm sorry. I thought since he took care of what he came to do..." says Maddie. "Actually, your sister's got a good point. You're all squared away. It's getting kinda late, so -- not unless there's something else you need?" says Mike. "Yeah. Yeah, there is, actually. Katie, could you get me some more ice?" asks Henry. "Sure," says Katie, going into the kitchen. "Thanks. Maddie, could you get the stuff from the pharmacy for me?" asks Henry. "But, I -- I’ve only been here for two days. Suppose I get lost?" protests Maddie. "You're not gonna get lost, sweetie. You just take a left out of the driveway and then a left at the first intersection and then it's just like a mile down the road. You should hurry up, honey, before the store closes, okay?" "Fine," pouts Maddie, leaving the house. "I want to apologize for my sister. She can be a bit pushy," Henry tells Mike, now that they're alone. "Her intentions are pretty obvious. But it's kinda cool that she's trying to protect you," says Mike. "Yeah. Yeah, I just want to let you know that I'm not coaching her or anything like that, okay? In fact, I’ve been trying to straighten her out, but she's too stubborn to listen," says Henry.

Maddie is outside watching through the window. She starts daydreaming about how she would like the conversation to go. "I only asked you to stay, Kasnoff, so I could have the pleasure of throwing you out. Katie and I are together, now, you understand? We're soul mates, and nothing, I mean nothing is going to take that away from us. I want you to get out and stay out!" says Henry, grabbing Mike by the arm. "Ow! Katie, please don't let him do this. Please, please. You know we belong together," whines Mike. "No, Mike, we don’t. I was a fool to walk away from Henry. He's the only man I want. The only man I love. Now and forever," says Katie sweetly. "Oh, Katie, please. Please don't do this, please?" begs Mike. Henry hits Mike and Katie gushes, "Wow. You are amazing!" "Aren't I?" agrees Henry, dipping Katie and kissing her. While doing so he smacks Mike upside the head and Mike goes flying. Maddie smiles.

Back in the real world, Mike asks Henry, "You sure I can't get you anything else?" "No, thanks. I'm in good hands. I just want to thank you for coming over and helping out. And to say how sorry I am about the baby. Mike says he will do that. Katie comes back from the kitchen and Henry thanks her for letting him and Maddie stay there. "How could I not let you stay?" she asks. "I just -- I don't want to be a burden, you know? I don't want to get in the middle of -- of your life," says Henry. "What life?" smiles Katie, exchanging a look with Mike.

"It's late, I really need to get going," says Mike. "I'm just going to walk him out," says Katie, following him, "Is there anything else you need?" "Besides the martinis that I can't have, or the painkillers that are not here because of my slow-as-molasses sister? No, I'm fine," says Henry. "Follow doctor's orders, all right? Ice it every 30 minutes and take those pain pills," Mike reminds him. "Ice, ice. Gotta remember ice," Katie mutters to herself. "Thanks, Mike. You saved my butt. Literally," says Henry. "I'll see you later, man," says Mike. He and Katie go outside the cottage. "I hope you don't mind that I called you. I know you said me we should keep our distance," says Katie. "I don't mind. You know I'd do anything for Henry," says Mike. "He's lucky to have you," says Katie. "He's lucky to have you. See you later," says Mike, starting to walk away. "Wait, Mike. Don't go," says Katie.

"What is it?" asks Mike. Before she can answer, Maddie appears. "Oh, you're still here? Who's taking care of my brother?" she asks. "You are," says Katie, pushing her inside. "She is a piece of work," says Mike. "Yeah, well, she has met her match in me. She just doesn't know it yet," says Katie. "Somebody should warn her," smiles Mike.

Maddie is inside watching. "What is this guy's problem? Can't he take a hint?" she asks. "I don't know. I wish you could. Would you just leave 'em alone and stop playing matchmaker," says Henry. "Well, somebody's got to. Well, at least he's leaving and you're spending the night. That's a start," says Maddie hopefully.

Back outside, Mike asks Katie what she wanted to say to him. "I was just wondering -- when do you think you're coming back? For Henry, I mean," she says. "First thing tomorrow morning," smiles Mike. "Really?" asks Katie. "Unless you and Maddie plan on getting Henry into the shower by yourselves," says Mike. "Good point. All right, so I'll have coffee ready," says Katie. "Sounds good. Night," says Mike, finally leaving. "Night. Okay. That's a start," smiles Katie.

Today’s episode was directed by Habib Azar and written by Josh Griffith.

Transcripts from TVMegasite

Henry: I feel like Quasimodo, Katie.

Katie: Funny, you kinda look like him, too.

Henry: Oh, really? Lon Chaney or Charles Laughton?

Katie: Oh, I was thinking the cartoon version.

[Laughing.]

Henry: Oh, no, no, no. In this instance laughter is not the best medicine.

Katie: Okay, sorry. Let me just try something different.

Henry: Okay.

Katie: How about behind your neck?

Henry: My neck doesn't hurt.

Katie: Yes, but it will take pressure off of your back.

Henry: Oh, really? How about another martini? That'll take pressure off of everything.

Katie: I have a better idea.

Henry: Oh, great.

Katie: I will be right back. Keep your eye on him.

Maddie: Wow. She is crazy about you. It is a good thing that you fell down the steps here, where she has no choice but to take care of you.

Henry: Maddie, I don't know what it is that you're expecting. Whatever it is, it's not healthy. And I want you to stop before -- [Knock at the door.] Hey honey, you wanna get that? You know, my foot isn't quite long enough to reach the knob.

Mike: Just in case you were gonna slam the door on me again. Katie called me over, said it was an emergency.

Henry: Mike, is that you?

Mike: What happened?

Henry: What's the matter, you've never seen a guy do yoga before?

Mike: Okay, what really happened?

Maddie: He fell down the stairs.

Mike: Did you call a doctor?

Henry: I don't need a doctor.

Katie: But we do need help. Thank you so much for coming over.

Mike: Where exactly does it hurt?

Henry: Not counting my pride? Lower back, slightly off center.

Mike: You fell down the entire flight of stairs?

Henry: No, just the last three, Mike. Does that make a difference?

Mike: I'm just trying to talk to you so you don't go into shock or something.

Katie: It's my fault. I left a slipper on the stairs and he tripped over it.

Maddie: No one's fault, not really. It was an accident.

Katie: Right. So, what do we do now? I have cold. I have heat. I can never remember which one you use.

Mike: Cold. But I think we should call a doctor.

Henry: No, I don't need a doctor. I just need to get up on the couch.

Katie: Which is why I called you, Mike.

Mike: I'm not sure we should move you.

Henry: Look, I can't stay down here on the floor, okay. Just help me up on the couch, please. Please, Mike, please.

Mike: All right, all right, all right. But then we're calling Bob Hughes. No arguments from anybody.

Henry: No arguments, okay. Okay, here we go.

Mike: 1, 2, 3.

[Henry screaming.]

Henry: All right, doc, you want to tell these worrywarts that there's nothing wrong with me?

Bob: Well, if you mean anything major broken, I think that's a safe assumption. But you really did bruise your back muscles and you've managed to also bruise your tailbone.

Henry: Is that anywhere near my ego?

Bob: We've got to get that swelling down and I want you to have an mri. But until then, I really want you to take it easy. Keep icing your back and take these anti-inflammatory pills four times a day.

Mike: Thanks for coming by on such short notice, doc.

Bob: Glad to oblige. You know, it's good that you called me. You can't be too careful with back injuries.

Katie: See?

Henry: All right, I stand corrected.

Bob: No, you're not going to be standing for the next few days. I want you to stay off your feet. We'll give it 48 hours, you give me a call, and we'll re-evaluate.

Katie: I will make sure he follows orders. Thank you so much.

Bob: Glad I could help. Good night, all.

All: Good night.

Henry: Maddie, you want to get me the phonebook?

Katie: Why? What do you need?

Henry: If I'm going to stay bed-ridden, I need a bed! Don't I? And a room to go along with it.

Katie: Don't be silly, Henry, I told you you're staying here.

Henry: I'm not staying here in the middle of your living room.

Katie: Why not?

Maddie: Why not?

Henry: I'm going to find a cheap motel. Okay? What's that one with the cowboy wallpaper?

Katie: The wagon wheel? That place should be condemned. Henry, you're not staying there. And you heard what Dr. Hughes said. You need to be off your feet at least 48 hours.

Mike: She makes a good argument, Henry. You don't need to be shuffling from place to place in your condition.

Maddie: Of course, you can’t. You could end up in like, traction or something.

Katie: So I am going to set up a little table for you. For food, drinks, whatever else you need.

Henry: Oh, yeah.

Katie: I'll give you a little bell so you can ring it when you want something.

Henry: Yeah. Can I have like, a little cocktail shaker and a little bowl of ice on the table?

Mike: Vodka and pain pills, that's a really good idea.

Henry: I'm not going through this without martinis, okay? I'm not going to do it. I will tough out the pain.

Mike: You want me to pick up that prescription for you?

Katie: Oh, no. I’ve got it. You've done enough already.

Maddie: Yes. Yes, you have. And thank you, so, so much. I'll walk you to your car. Okay?

Henry: Maddie, why don't you slow down now? I'm not sure Mike is ready to go yet.

Maddie: Oh, I'm sorry. I thought since he took care of what he came to do --

Mike: Actually, your sister's got a good point. You're all squared away. It's getting kinda late, so -- not unless there's something else you need?

Henry: Yeah. Yeah, there is, actually. Katie, could you get me some more ice?

Katie: Sure.

Henry: Thanks. Maddie, could you get the stuff from the pharmacy for me?

Maddie: But, I -- I’ve only been here for two days. Suppose I get lost?

Henry: You're not gonna get lost, sweetie. You just take a left out of the driveway and then a left at the first intersection and then it's just like a mile down the road. You should hurry up, honey, before the store closes, okay?

Maddie: Fine.

Henry: I want to apologize for my sister. She can be a bit pushy.

Mike: Her intentions are pretty obvious. But it's kinda cool that she's trying to protect you.

Henry: Yeah. Yeah, I just want to let you know that I'm not coaching her or anything like that, okay? In fact, I’ve been trying to straighten her out, but she's too stubborn to listen.

[Maddie daydreaming.]

Henry: I only asked you to stay, Kasnoff, so I could have the pleasure of throwing you out. Katie and I are together, now, you understand? We're soul mates, and nothing, I mean nothing is going to take that away from us. I want you to get out and stay out!

Mike: Ow! Katie, please don't let him do this. Please, please. You know we belong together.

Katie: No, Mike, we don’t. I was a fool to walk away from Henry. He's the only man I want. The only man I love. Now and forever.

Mike: Oh, Katie, please. Please don't do this, please?

Katie: Wow. You are amazing.

Henry: Aren't I?

Mike: You sure I can't get you anything else?

Henry: No, thanks. I'm in good hands. I just want to thank you for coming over and helping out. And to say how sorry I am about the baby.

Mike: I'll be sure to tell Jen. You sure I can't get you anything else?

Henry: No, no. No. Thanks to Katie. It's so good of her to let me and Maddie stay.

Katie: How could I not let you stay?

Henry: I just -- I don't want to be a burden, you know? I don't want to get in the middle of -- of your life.

Katie: What life?

Mike: It's late, I really need to get going.

Katie: I'm just going to walk him out.

Henry: Sure.

Katie: Is there anything else you need?

Henry: Besides the martinis that I can't have, or the painkillers that are not here because of my slow-as-molasses sister? No, I'm fine.

Mike: Follow doctor's orders, all right? Ice it every 30 minutes and take those pain pills.

Katie: Ice, ice. Gotta remember ice.

Henry: Thanks, Mike. You saved my butt. Literally.

Mike: I'll see you later, man.

Henry: Yeah.

Katie: I hope you don't mind that I called you. I know you said me we should keep our distance --

Mike: I don't mind. You know I'd do anything for Henry.

Katie: He's lucky to have you.

Mike: He's lucky to have you. See you later.

Katie: Wait, Mike. Don't go.

Mike: What is it?

Maddie: Oh, you're still here? Who's taking care of my brother?

Katie: You are.

Mike: She is a piece of work.

Katie: Yeah, well, she has met her match in me. She just doesn't know it yet.

Mike: Somebody should warn her.

Maddie: What is this guy's problem? Can't he take a hint?

Henry: I don't know. I wish you could. Would you just leave 'em alone and stop playing matchmaker.

Maddie: Well, somebody's got to. Well, at least he's leaving and you're spending the night. That's a start.

Mike: So, what did you want to say to me?

Katie: I was just wondering -- when do you think you're coming back? For Henry, I mean.

Mike: First thing tomorrow morning.

Katie: Really?

Mike: Not unless you and Maddie plan on getting Henry into the shower by yourselves.

Katie: Good point. All right, so I'll have coffee ready.

Mike: Sounds good. Night.

Katie: Night. Okay. That's a start.

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