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Thursday, August 25, 2005 Henry has just faked re-injuring his back to ensure that he and Maddie have a place to stay. "Ow! Oh, oh!" he screams, clutching his back. "Henry, Henry? Whoa, what happened?" asks Katie, concerned. "He stood up too fast. You want me to get a doctor?" asks Mike. "No, I need to -- I need to lie down!" says Henry. They help him down on the couch and Katie and Mike run to get an ice pack. "Henry, Henry, are you okay? A minute ago, you were getting better, and I was trying to get you to hide it. I can't believe now you're even worse than ever," says Maddie. "That's all right, sis," says Henry nobly. "I'm so sorry. Are you all right? I don't think you should talk," says Maddie. "No, come here," whispers Henry, motioning her closer. "What?" asks Maddie, leaning in. "Gotcha!" laughs Henry.
"First of all, I'm glad you're okay," says Maddie. "Thanks, kid," says Henry. "Second of all..." Maddie leans in and gives him a kiss on the cheek. "Yeah? Oh, gross! Sister cooties!" cries Henry, sitting up. "I am so glad you have not given up on winning Katie back," says Maddie, "I mean, when you popped off that couch, and you said you had something to tell Mike and Katie, I was sure you were going to throw in the towel and tell that your back was fine, and this was all a scam. But instead..." "Maddie, Maddie, Maddie, Maddie, Maddie," interrupts Henry. "You really brought your performance to a whole other level!" says Maddie. "Maddie, I have not changed my mind about Katie," insists Henry. Maddie asks him why he did this, and he answers, "For you." Katie and Mike come back in the room. Katie asks Henry how he's doing. "Oh, the -- the spasms have stopped. It's just sort of a dull, throbbing ache now," says Henry, putting his feet up on the coffee table. "How's that?" asks Mike, putting the ice pack on his back. "That's cold, Mike. That's cold," says Henry. Katie asks him how he feels, and he says, "I feel dumb. I just -- standing up like that was just incredibly stupid. And I -- I've probably undone my entire recovery." Katie tells him not to blame himself. "Why did you do it in the first place? I mean, when Katie and I walked in, you jumped up like you were gonna tell us the house was on fire. What was so important?" asks Mike.
"You don't have to talk right now, just rest, okay?" says Katie. "Right. Rest is good," agrees Maddie. "No. Mike asked me a question, he deserves an answer. 'Cause he's right, there is something I wanted to tell you guys before," says Henry. "What was it?" asks Katie. "He wanted to tell you my good news," says Maddie, "I got a line on a job. Another doughnut shop." "I thought you had to go back home soon?" asks Katie. "Right. It's a doughnut shop at home. A chain. At home," fibs Maddie. "Guys, can I talk to my sister alone for a moment, please?" asks Henry. Katie and Mike agree to wait outside. "I don't understand you. Why bother faking a relapse if you are just not gonna try to get Katie back?" asks Maddie when they're alone. "I am doing this for your sake, dumb-dumb," says Henry. "Yeah, what's that about?" asks Maddie. "You want to stay here in Oakdale, right? With me?" says Henry. "More than anything. But you said..." "I don't have a place for you right now, okay? I am working on it. In the meantime, staying here is a lot better than you camping out with me in the limo," says Henry. "You mean it? I can stay?" asks Maddie delightedly. "Yeah, yeah, I'll get the money together and we'll get some place together," says Henry. "Oh, this is perfect. It would be even more perfect, though, if you and Katie were back together," says Maddie. "Sweetie, sweetie, that ship has sailed, all right? It is so far gone, it's halfway to Greenland by now," says Henry. "You can still try," urges Maddie. "Try what? Spitting into the wind? Did you see Mike and Katie when they came in?" asks Henry. "What about them?" says Maddie. "I think they were on the verge of telling me that they're officially back together," sighs Henry. "Oh, you don't know that. Come on, Henry, you cannot give up. Not yet. Please," begs Maddie. Outside, Mike and Katie agree not to tell Henry until he feels better. But Henry doesn't want to wait. He calls them back inside. "Can I get you anything?" asks Katie. "Well, you can answer a question," says Henry, "What were you guys going to tell me before?" Katie tells him it can wait. "No. No, it can't. We need to get everything out on the table. Now," insists Henry. "Never mind, Henry. We weren't going to tell you anything that can't wait," says Katie. "Maybe it can wait. But I'm not sure that it should," says Mike. "Mike, I don't see any reason why..." says Katie. "I think we've done way too much talking. Henry, go to sleep. You'll feel better when you wake up," says Maddie. "Let me guess. You two are back together," says Henry. "No, they're not," says Maddie, but Katie and Mike admit it. "I knew it," says Henry. Katie apologizes and Henry says, "No, don't be. I've known it for a long time now." "We didn't want to hide it from you, but we also didn't want to hurt your feelings," explains Mike. "And now we've done that," says Katie, tearing up. "Hey, don't cry. I'll be all right. I mean, not physically, obviously. But emotionally -- I mean, I just -- it's actually kind of a relief," says Henry, grabbing her hand. "Really?" asks Katie. "Really. Hey, you two should be together," says Henry. "You really okay with it?" asks Katie. "Bubbles, do you love me?" asks Henry. Katie answers in the affirmative and Henry asks, "What do you want for me?" "The best. Always," says Katie. "That's what I want for you. And I married you because I wanted to give you your heart's desire. I just didn't realize I had to divorce you to get the job done," says Henry. "Oh, Henry, come on," says Kaie. "No, you two were meant to be together," says Henry. Katie hugs him and he groans in pain. "Sorry. Sorry!" cries Katie. "That's okay. It's going to be all right. It's going to be okay. I just don't want to put you two to too much trouble," says Henry. "No, it's fine. You stay here as long as you want. Both of you," says Katie. "Thanks," says Maddie. "All right. Well, I'm going to get to work now. Is there anything you want before I leave?" asks Katie. "No, I'm fine. Everything's great. Thank you," says Henry. Mike offers to drive her, and the two say their good-byes and leave. "I know you're disappointed," says Henry. "It's such a waste! You love her. She loves you," sighs Maddie. "Well, some dreams you have to let go of, pumpkin, because clinging to them just hurts too damn much," says Henry.
Maddie finds Henry looking at a book and smiling, and asks him what it is. "It's Katie's yearbook. She was head cheerleader," says Henry. "Oh, big surprise. Henry, why are you doing this to yourself if you've given up on her?" asks Maddie. "It's a kick, all right. That's all it is. Katie and I used to look through this thing all the time. This is her with one of her cheerleader friends. This is her homeroom picture," says Henry, pointing out the pictures. "Oh, she's front and center, of course. Why don't we take this and -- look at that guy behind him. See how he's staring at her," says Maddie, "The fat one with the glasses. He's, like, totally focused on Katie. Talk about wearing your heart on your sleeve." "I've never seen him before. Katie never mentioned him, either. Byron Glass," says Henry, reading the name in the caption. He flips some pages and Maddie asks what he's doing. "Hold on. Yep, figures. Head of the math club, Byron Glass," says Henry. "Wow, math nerd yearning for a cheerleader. Wow, never heard that one before," jokes Maddie. "Yeah, I know how he feels. I'll be back in a bit," says Henry, getting up. "Okay. Byron Glass...." says Maddie, getting that look in her eye.
Maddie has gotten our her computer and is typing a message. "'Dear Mr. Glass' -- no. Channeling Katie. Okay. 'Dear Byron, do you remember me? My name is Katie Perretti. We went to high school together. I always thought you were the smartest guy. How are you doing? Here's the latest on me. I live in Oakdale, Illinois, I've been married and divorced. And -- I have been thinking about you and lost opportunity. If you are thinking about me, please write back. My e-mail at this website is k-k-k-Katie. Hope to hear from you soon.'" Maddie finishes typing and begins to daydream. Mike has found the messages on the computer, and Katie catches him reading them. "How long has this been going on?" he demands. "What?" asks Katie. "Your affair with Byron Glass," says Mike, "Love letters, to you, from you, dozens of them." "Oh, no, this is some sort of mistake," says Katie. "The only mistake is that I ever trusted you," says Mike melodramatically. "I don't know anything about this, Mike. You have to believe me!" insists Katie. "I wish I could, but it's pretty clear I can't," says Mike. "Where are you going?" asks Katie desperately. "I'm leaving, Katie. Good-bye," says Mike. "Mike, wait!" calls Katie to no avail.
"Bubbles?" questions Henry, coming into the room. "Mike left me," says Katie. "Don't worry, darling. I'm still here," says Henry. "Thank god!" says Katie. Coming back to reality, Maddie states, "You may have given up, Henry, but I haven't."
Today’s episode was directed by Michael Eilbaum and written by Susan Dansby.
Transcripts from TVMegasite Henry: Ow! Oh, oh! Katie: Henry, Henry? Whoa, what happened? Mike: He stood up too fast. You want me to get a doctor? Henry: No, I need to -- I need to lie down! Mike: All right, we've got you, we've got you. Katie: I'm gonna get you an ice pack. Mike: I just put those bags of ice in the freezer. I'll help you. Maddie: Henry, Henry, are you okay? A minute ago, you were getting better, and I was trying to get you to hide it. I can't believe now you're even worse than ever. Henry: That's all right, sis. Maddie: I'm so sorry. Are you all right? I don't think you should talk. Henry: No, come here. Maddie: What? Henry: Come here. Gotcha. Maddie: Oh.
Maddie: First of all, I'm glad you're okay. Henry: Thanks, kid. Maddie: Second of all -- Henry: Yeah? Oh, gross! Sister cooties. Maddie: I am so glad you have not given up on winning Katie back. Henry: Maddie -- Maddie: I mean, when you popped off that couch, and you said you had something to tell Mike and Katie, I was sure you were going to throw in the towel and tell that your back was fine, and this was all a scam. But instead -- Henry: Maddie, Maddie, Maddie, Maddie, Maddie -- Maddie: You really brought your performance to a whole other level! Henry: Maddie, I have not changed my mind about Katie. Maddie: Then why did you do this? Henry: For you. Katie: Henry, how are you feeling? Henry: Oh, the -- the spasms have stopped. It's just sort of a dull, throbbing ache now. Mike: How's that? Henry: That's cold, Mike. That's cold. Katie: How do you feel? Henry: I feel dumb. I just -- standing up like that was just incredibly stupid. And I -- I've probably undone my entire recovery. Mike: Yeah. Katie: Don't blame yourself. Mike: Why did you do it in the first place? I mean, when Katie and I walked in, you jumped up like you were gonna tell us the house was on fire. What was so important?
Katie: You don't have to talk right now, just rest, okay? Maddie: Right. Rest is good. Henry: No. Mike asked me a question, he deserves an answer. 'Cause he's right, there is something I wanted to tell you guys before. Katie: What was it? Maddie: He wanted to tell you my good news. Katie: What news? Maddie: I got a line on a job. Another doughnut shop. Katie: I thought you had to go back home soon? Maddie: Right. It's a doughnut shop at home. A chain. At home. Henry: Guys, can I talk to my sister alone for a moment, please? Katie: Sure. Mike: We'll be outside if you need us. Just holler. All right? Maddie: I don't understand you. Why bother faking a relapse if you are just not gonna try to get Katie back? Henry: I am doing this for your sake, dumb-dumb. Maddie: Yeah, what's that about? Henry: You want to stay here in Oakdale, right? With me? Maddie: More than anything. But you said -- Henry: I don't have a place for you right now, okay? I am working on it. In the meantime, staying here is a lot better than you camping out with me in the limo. Maddie: You mean it? I can stay? Henry: Yeah, yeah, I'll get the money together and we'll get some place together. Maddie: Oh, this is perfect. It would be even more perfect, though, if you and Katie were back together. Henry: Sweetie, sweetie, that ship has sailed, all right? It is so far gone, it's halfway to Greenland by now. Maddie: You can still try. Henry: Try what? Spitting into the wind? Did you see Mike and Katie when they came in? Maddie: What about them? Henry: I think they were on the verge of telling me that they're officially back together. Maddie: Oh, you don't know that. Come on, Henry, you cannot give up. Not yet. Please. Mike: What are you thinking? Katie: About Henry. Mike: No. Katie: Mike, he's in pain. Mike: We made a decision. Katie: I know, but that was before he threw his back out again. Mike: Look, we're together now. And pretending that we're not, how is that fair to Henry? Katie: Please, Mike, please. It can't go on much longer. We'll just wait till he gets better before we tell him. Henry: Mike? Katie? Katie: Can I get you anything? Henry: Well, you can answer a question. Katie: Sure. Henry: What were you guys going to tell me before? Katie: It can wait. Henry: No. No, it can't. We need to get everything out on the table. Now.
Katie: Never mind, Henry. We weren't going to tell you anything that can't wait. Mike: Maybe it can wait. But I'm not sure that it should. Katie: Mike, I don't see any reason why -- Maddie: I think we've done way too much talking. Henry, go to sleep. You'll feel better when you wake up. Henry: Let me guess. You two are back together. Maddie: No, they're not. Mike and Katie: Yes, we are. Henry: I knew it. Katie: I'm so sorry. Henry: No, don't be. I've known it for a long time now. Mike: We didn't want to hide it from you, but we also didn't want to hurt your feelings. Katie: And now we've done that. Henry: Hey, don't cry. I'll be all right. I mean, not physically, obviously. But emotionally -- I mean, I just -- it's actually kind of a relief. Katie: Really? Henry: Really. Hey, you two should be together. Katie: You really okay with it? Henry: Bubbles, do you love me? Katie: Yes. Henry: What do you want for me? Katie: The best. Always. Henry: That's what I want for you. And I married you because I wanted to give you your heart's desire. I just didn't realize I had to divorce you to get the job done. Katie: Oh, Henry, come on. Henry: No, you two were meant to be together. Mike: Thanks. Henry: Ohh! Katie: Sorry. Sorry. Henry: That's okay. It's going to be all right. It's going to be okay. I just don't want to put you two to too much trouble. Katie: No, it's fine. You stay here as long as you want. Both of you. Maddie: Thanks. Katie: All right. Well, I'm going to get to work now. Is there anything you want before I leave? Henry: No, I'm fine. Everything's great. Thank you. Mike: I'll drive you. Katie: Okay. Mike: Later. Katie: Bye. Henry: I know you're disappointed. Maddie: It's such a waste! You love her. She loves you. Henry: Well, some dreams you have to let go of, pumpkin, because clinging to them just hurts too damn much.
Mike: Happy us day. Katie: Oh. I wish I didn't have to work so I could celebrate all day with you. Mike: Would you want to? Celebrate, I mean? Katie: Of course. Mike: You just seem kind of down. Katie: Oh, I'm sorry. I'm -- you know how happy I am that we're back together and that everything's finally out in the open. Mike: Henry took things really well. Katie: Yeah. Too well. I'm afraid he was just saying what he thought I wanted to hear so that I wouldn't feel so bad. Mike: He did a pretty good job. Katie: I'm such a sap. Mike: Hey, hey. Don't diss the sap I love. Katie: You still love me? Mike: More and more. And you know what I think? Katie: What? Mike: I think that it was probably good for Henry to hear us being honest with him. Katie: Yeah? Mike: Yeah. Katie: Let's make a wish. Mike: All right. All right. What do you want to wish for? Katie: That Henry lives happily ever after.
Maddie: What's that? Henry: It's Katie's yearbook. She was head cheerleader. Maddie: Oh, big surprise. Henry, why are you doing this to yourself if you've given up on her? Henry: It's a kick, all right. That's all it is. Katie and I used to look through this thing all the time. This is her with one of her cheerleader friends. This is her homeroom picture. Maddie: Oh, she's front and center, of course. Why don't we take this and -- look at that guy behind him. See how he's staring at her. Henry: Yeah. Maddie: The fat one with the glasses. He's, like, totally focused on Katie. Talk about wearing your heart on your sleeve. Henry: I've never seen him before. Katie never mentioned him, either. Byron glass. Maddie: What are you doing? Henry: Hold on. Yep, figures. Head of the math club, Byron Glass. Maddie: Wow, math nerd yearning for a cheerleader. Wow, never heard that one before. Henry: Yeah, I know how he feels. I'll be back in a bit. Maddie: Okay. Byron glass.
Katie: I'm almost afraid to believe it. Mike: What, that we might actually have a normal life? Katie: No more sneaking around. Mike: Mmm. Which means I get to kiss you whenever I want. As long as Maddie's not around to give me the evil eye. Katie: Oh, she'll be out of here soon. Mike: You told them both they could stay as long as they wanted. Katie: She's still in high school. She has to go home and finish, and Henry's little relapse will be over before you know it. Mike: In the meantime -- Katie: She'll be nicer to you. Mike: Why? Katie: Because Henry's accepted our relationship. She will, too. She'll finally get off your case. Mike: I'll kiss to that.
Maddie: "Dear Mr. Glass" -- no. Channeling Katie. Okay. "Dear Byron, do you remember me? My name is Katie Perretti. We went to high school together. I always thought you were the smartest guy. How are you doing? Here's the latest on me. I live in Oakdale, Illinois, I've been married and divorced. And -- I have been thinking about you and lost opportunity. If you are thinking about me, please write back. My e-mail at this website is k-k-k-Katie. Hope to hear from you soon." [ Maddie dreaming ] Katie: Mike. Mike: How long has this been going on? Katie: What? Mike: Your affair with Byron Glass. Katie: Who? Mike: Love letters, to you, from you, dozens of them. Katie: Oh, no, this is some sort of mistake. Mike: The only mistake is that I ever trusted you. Katie: I don't know anything about this, Mike. You have to believe me! Mike: I wish I could, but it's pretty clear I can't. Katie: Where are you going? Mike: I'm leaving, Katie. Good-bye. Katie: Mike, wait! Henry: Bubbles? Katie: Mike left me. Henry: Don't worry, darling. I'm still here. Katie: Thank god! Maddie: You may have given up, Henry, but I haven't.
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