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Tuesday, September 7, 2004 Henry and Mike lose big at strip poker, thanks to a little cheating by our friend Nikki! Nikki, Henry, Jennifer and Mike are sitting around the table at Mike's cottage. Mike is shirtless and Henry is in an undershirt and tie. "Okay, show us what you got," challenges Nikki. Jennifer has two aces, and Nikki has a straight flush. "What the...." says Henry, baffled at her luck. "I told you, Coleman, I play for keeps," she says. Jen asks Mike what he has, and he replies he has nothing. "Mike loses again. This is not your night. But look on the bright side, the rock the vote campaign can use all the help we can give it," encourages Nikki. "Too true. Oh, poor Mikey. Pants?" Jen requests. "Oh, yeah. Pants. Off, my friend," says Nikki. "Come on, Mike. Don't be shy. We're all friends here," says Jen. Mike stands up and begins to unbutton his pants, and Nikki suggests some music might help. Henry hides his face behind his hands. Nikki and Jen continue to taunt poor Mike while Henry peaks out from behind his tie. Suddenly he has an idea. "It's about time! I'm dying here," says Mike thankfully. Henry suggests martinis. "I think a little class added to the festivities. I've got my emergency martini kit out in the car. Would you care to join me, Mr. Kasnoff?" he asks. "Thought you'd never ask," says Mike as he pushes Henry out the door. After they leave Jennifer says, "Did you see the look on Mike's face?" "Could he be too cute? Oh, my gosh," swoons Nikki. "That's not cute, that's hot," corrects Jen. Nikki agrees. "Look all you like, big sister, but that heart belongs to somebody else," Jen warns her. Meanwhile, outside the cottage, Mike is giving Henry a hard time for getting him into this. "Leave it up to me, Mike. I know what I'm doing, Mike," he says mockingly. "I do, I do!" Henry assures him. "Well, then why am I the one losing my shirt and my pants?" whines Mike. "They just had a good stroke of luck. Now, just give it time," says Henry calmly. "They've had plenty of time. Between the two of them, they've lost a watch and a couple of earrings," says Mike. "Mike, I'm gonna make my powerball martinis. They're never gonna know what hit 'em," Henry assures him. "Mm-hmm. Or I could dancing for dollars within the hour. And forget it," says Mike. "No, no, no. You can't give up now. I promise you, this entire evening is going to take a nice, big turn for the better, all right? Trust me," says Mike. "Trust you. I am down to my boxers and you're the guy that I'm supposed to trust? I don't think so," says Mike. Back inside the cottage, Nikki assures Jen she does not have the hots for Mike. "Great poker face," says Jen. "You said he's hot, I agreed. I'm only human. And if the guy ends up in his birthday suit at the end of the night, I won't be disappointed," says Nikki. "Dream on. And what if our luck changes?" asks Jen. Nikki assures her it won't and Jen asks her how she can be so sure. "Easy. I cheat," confesses Nikki. Henry and Mike are sitting at the table sans shirt and pants, although Henry of course is still wearing his tie. "I've played poker in every back room from Reno to Atlantic City, and I have never, never seen a stroke of luck like that. So tell me, Nikki. What is your little secret?" asks Henry. "Tell him," says Jen. "I cheat," says Nikki. "You wouldn't," says Henry in disbelief. "But she did," says Jen delightedly. "You're a cop!" says Henry. Nikki assures them it was just harmless fun. "How long were you gonna let this go on?" asks Mike. "Until the term 'strip search' looked like child's play," taunts Nikki. "Beg your pardon?" asks Mike. "Yeah. Yes, you'd be doing some of that, too," agrees Nikki. "Don't you love it when they beg?" jokes Jennifer. Henry and Mike, now partially clothed, show Jen and Nikki to the door. "Thanks for the martinis and the fine, masculine forms we witnessed here tonight," says Nikki. "Our pleasure, ladies," says Henry generously. "I hope you guys weren't too bent out of shape over losing," says Nikki. "Oh, no. Not at all. But you know, Nikki, in the future, if you want to see a guy naked, all you have to do is ask," winks Henry. "I'll keep that in mind," says Nikki. "Please do!" says Henry. "And don't forget, Kasnoff, you're committed to helping us rock the vote," says Nikki. Mike agrees to be there. "I just hope we recognize him with his clothes on," teases Nikki. The girls leave and Henry says gleefully, "Did you see that? She likes me!" Mike mockingly claps his hands and turns away in anger. Outside, Jennifer asks Nikki what she's doing to do about Henry's crush on her. "Aw, he's fun. A little strange, but fun. Unfortunately, not my type," says Nikki. "I wonder if he's anybody's type," says Jen. "But Mike -- Mike, on the other hand -- if he whistled at me from a construction site, I'd just have to whistle back. You know what I mean?" says Nikki. "Yeah. I know what you mean," agrees Jennifer. Today’s episode was directed by Jennifer Pepperman and written by Lynn Martin.
Transcripts from TVMegasite Nikki: Okay, show us what you got. Jennifer: Two aces. Henry: Nikki? Nikki: Hmm. I don't know. Is this what they call a straight flush? Henry: What the --? Nikki: I told you, Coleman, I play for keeps. Jennifer: How about you, Mike? Mike: I got nothing. Nikki: Mike loses again. This is not your night. But look on the bright side, the rock the vote campaign can use all the help we can give it. Jennifer: Too true. Oh, poor Mikey. Pants? Nikki: Oh, yeah. Pants. Off, my friend. Jennifer: Come on, Mike. Don't be shy. We're all friends here. Nikki: Oh, wait -- maybe he could use some music to help him out.
Nikki: That's the way to work it! Jennifer: Hey, we should have dollar bills. Nikki: Dollar bills are only for experienced professionals. I do not think Mike has perfected his routine yet. Henry: I've got an idea! Mike: It's about time! I'm dying here. Henry: Martinis! Nikki: Martinis? Now? Henry: Yeah, I think a little class added to the festivities. I've got my emergency martini kit out in the car. Would you care to join me, Mr. Kasnoff? Mike: Thought you'd never ask. Nikki: Now, wait a second, Mr. Kasnoff. You are not gonna weasel your way out of this. When you get back, your pants are history. Jennifer: Did you see the look on Mike's face? Nikki: Could he be too cute? Oh, my gosh. Jennifer: That's not cute, that's hot. Nikki: Yeah. Jennifer: Look all you like, big sister, but that heart belongs to somebody else.
Mike: Leave it up to me, Mike. I know what I'm doing, Mike. Henry: I do, I do! Mike: Well, then why am I the one losing my shirt and my pants? Henry: They just had a good stroke of luck. Now, just give it time. Mike: They've had plenty of time. Between the two of them, they've lost a watch and a couple of earrings. Henry: Mike, I'm gonna make my powerball martinis. They're never gonna know what hit 'em. Mike: Mm-hmm. Or I could dancing for dollars within the hour. And forget it. Henry: No, no, no. You can't give up now. I promise you, this entire evening is going to take a nice, big turn for the better, all right? Trust me. Mike: Trust you. I am down to my boxers and you're the guy that I'm supposed to trust? I don't think so. Nikki: I do not have the hots for Mike. Jennifer: Great poker face. Nikki: You said he's hot, I agreed. I'm only human. And if the guy ends up in his birthday suit at the end of the night, I won't be disappointed. Jennifer: Dream on. And what if our luck changes? Nikki: It's not. Jennifer: How do you know? Nikki: Easy. I cheat.
Henry: I've played poker in every back room from Reno to Atlantic City, and I have never, never seen a stroke of luck like that. So tell me, Nikki. What is your little secret? Jennifer: Tell him. Nikki: I cheat. Henry: You wouldn't. Jennifer: But she did. Henry: You're a cop! Nikki: I mean, harmless fun! Mike: How long were you gonna let this go on? Nikki: Until the term "strip search" looked like child's play. Mike: Beg your pardon? Nikki: Yeah. Yes, you'd be doing some of that, too. Jennifer: Don't you love it when they beg?
Nikki: Thanks for the martinis and the fine, masculine forms we witnessed here tonight. Henry: Our pleasure, ladies. Nikki: I hope you guys weren't too bent out of shape over losing. Henry: Oh, no. Not at all. But you know, Nikki, in the future, if you want to see a guy naked, all you have to do is ask. Nikki: I'll keep that in mind. Henry: Please do. Nikki: And don't forget, Kasnoff, you're committed to helping us rock the vote. Mike: A deal's a deal. I'll be there. Nikki: I just hope we recognize him with his clothes on. Henry: Did you see that? She likes me! Jennifer: What are you going to do about it? Nikki: About what? Jennifer: Henry, he has a huge crush on you. Nikki: Aw, he's fun. A little strange, but fun. Unfortunately, not my type. Jennifer: I wonder if he's anybody's type. Nikki: But Mike -- Mike, on the other hand -- if he whistled at me from a construction site, I'd just have to whistle back. You know what I mean? Jennifer: Yeah. I know what you mean.
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