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Friday, September 18, 2009 Henry meets his mother's friend Ralph who's going to help them launder money. They take him to Metro to introduce him to Craig and Rosanna, who are a bit surprised that Henry needs a new "partner." Who, it turns out, is Teri and Janet's uncle! Today’s episode was directed by Habib Azar and written by Gordon Rayfield.
Transcripts from TVMegasite Audrey: How many of those have you had? Henry: Not enough. Audrey: Son, we solved your problem with Vienna, remember? Henry: Getting a gangster to launder money through metro is not my idea of a solution. Audrey: It's going to be fine! Henry: Why, mother, why? Because Ralph is such a sweetheart? Audrey: Because you can count on him. Henry: Yeah, I can count on him to break my knees. Audrey: He's not a violent man. Ralph: Oh, there she is, that lovely Audrey. Good to see you. Audrey: Hello, you. Muah, muah. Ralph, I would like to present to you my son, Henry. Ralph: How you doing, partner? Henry: Uh, I'm fine, but we're not partners. Audrey: Henry. Henry: No, no, no. It's nothing personal. It's just, I don't think this business works for me. Ralph: But your mother and I, we made a deal. Henry: Right, but I didn't agree to that. Ralph: Are you calling your mother a liar? Henry: No, of course not. She just has a problem with boundaries. Ralph: There are no boundaries between a mother and son. And a deal is a deal. Henry: I understand how you feel, I do. Ralph: I certainly hope so. Henry: You can let go now. Ralph: You are gonna learn to respect your lovely mother and our deal, aren't you? Henry: Yes, yes, absolutely, yes. Ralph: Okay, good. Let's go see our club. [Laughter] Henry: Hey, hey, hey, come here! Come here! If anyone's knees get broken in this, it damn well better be yours!
Rosanna: Oh, hello. Hey, it's Carly's co-owner, in the flesh! Henry: Craig. You know what, maybe we should come back later. Craig: No, no. Your timing's impeccable. Our new chef is giving our new kitchen a test drive. Ralph: You've got a new chef, huh? Supposed to be good? Craig: Better than good. And who might you be? Ralph: I'm your partner's new partner. Craig: Oh, no, you're not. Audrey: Hello. We haven't met yet. I'm Audrey Coleman. I'm Henry's mother. Actually, I had him in high school or something. But you're Craig Montgomery. Henry's told me so much about you. But he failed to mention how absolutely delicious you are. Craig: Nice to meet you, too. You, I'm not so sure about. Ralph: I'm getting a lot of negativity off you. Rosanna: You know, don't worry about it. Most people do. Hi, I'm Rosanna Cabot. I'm Carly tTenney's sister. We're here on her behalf since she's away for a little while, representing her interests. Ralph: Oh, good. Well, her interests are my interests, now that I've got a stake in the place. Craig: Okay. Henry, I think we need to have a little talk in private. [Cellphone rings] Right after I take this call. Rosanna: Excuse me one second. Craig: Craig montgomery. Henry: We should come back when he's not here. Ralph: That's not how I do things. Henry: I just don't want any ugliness, that's all. Ralph: No ugliness. I'm just gonna set the guy straight.
Craig: Since when are we open to new investors? Henry: Okay, maybe we didn't have that exact conversation. Craig: We didn't have anything even remotely like it. Henry: You're not a co-owner. You don't get to make decisions. Craig: Carly gave me her power of attorney, which puts me in charge of her business affairs. Audrey: Hey, you could handle my affairs anytime you like. Henry: My god, mother, not now, please. Ralph: Can I make a suggestion? Craig: Sure, if it has to do with you leaving. Ralph: I'm really starting to dislike your attitude. Craig: All the more reason to leave and not come back. Ralph: Look, my friend -- Craig: I'm not your friend. Henry: Hey, you know what, let's all calm down. For your own good. Craig: I don't need your advice. Henry: I think maybe this one time, you do. Craig: I don't know why you brought this guy here. Henry: Look, he's a friend of my mom's, and he's just trying to help me out. Craig: With what? Waste disposal? Ralph: What does that mean? Craig: I think you know. Henry: He's an investor, okay, for our expansion. Craig: We're not expanding. Henry: Well, Ralph thinks we should. Craig: I don't care what Ralph thinks. Ralph: Maybe you better start. Craig: I don't think so. I've dealt with your type before. Ralph: Oh? And what type is that? Craig: Would you like me to spell it out for you? Ralph: Yeah, but slowly, because my type, we don't read too good, but we do other things very well. Craig: You don't scare me. Henry: You might want to rethink that. Craig: So take your dirty money and get out. Now. Teri: Uncle Ralphie?
Ralph: Theresa? Teri: I don't believe it! Ralph: Oh, my god. Henry: Uncle Ralphie? Craig: You know this guy? Teri: Yeah, only my whole life. Ralph: So, you're looking great, babyface, you really are. What are you doing in this place? Teri: Well, I work here. I'm the new head chef. Ralph: No kidding -- you? Teri: Yeah, but I just started. How did you even know I was here? Ralph: I didn't. Teri: What are you talking about? You never leave Chicago. Ralph: Well, you know I'm always looking out for good investments, and Audrey told me that Henry was looking to expand his operation. Teri: Already? Craig: It's news to me, too. Ralph: Yeah, the word out is that this place is gonna be the next big thing, and that's because of the chef. And now that I know it's you, I'm all in. Teri: Oh, that is so -- that is so cool! We can finally put in that second station we talked about. Audrey: See, Ralph? I told you, my son is a genius. Ralph: But you -- I'm still not a very big fan of your attitude. However, I must respect your eye for talent. Teri: Well, thank you, uncle Ralphie. Hey, are you hungry? Ralph: I could eat. Teri: Well, I have a fantastic veal parmesan coming out. It's aunt Marie's recipe. Do you want to try it? Ralph: What do you think? Teri: It's coming right out. Ralph: Okay. Craig: Uh, Henry. Why don't you show uncle Ralphie around while we wait for aunt Marie's veal parmesan? Henry: Yeah, sure, right this way, uncle Ralphie.
Audrey: Look at that. That man is just such a sweetheart. Craig: Mm-hmm. Henry, tell me -- was it your idea to bring him in, or your mother's? Henry: It was mine, completely. Craig: Really? Why? You just inherited James sSenbeck's fortune. Henry: Yeah, well, I'm not gonna keep it. Craig: Is that so? Henry: Yeah, I'm giving it all away. I'm hoping to make up for a small fraction of the evil that man did. Craig: Well, I'd say that makes you either the saintliest man alive, or the stupidest. Henry: Mm-hmm. I'm just trying to do the right thing, Craig. I'll be right back. Audrey: That boy just makes me so proud every day. Craig: I'll bet.
Henry: Wow. What an amazing coincidence. Ralph: Absolutely. I'll keep in touch. Henry: This isn't good. Audrey: What? What are you talking about? Henry: Craig. Craig is obviously suspicious. Audrey: Of what? Of uncle Ralphie? Can you believe that? Is that like a divine message, telling us we're doing the right thing? Henry: Money laundering? Audrey: No! Getting you rich while keeping your dream girl. Now, how many boys can say they have a mommy that can do that for them? Henry: If it works. Audrey: It will work. Come on. You get the money from jams, you give it to Ralph, Ralph gives it back to you. What could possibly go wrong? Henry: Just about everything. |
