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Thursday, October 1, 2009 Henry continues with Audrey's plan that he seduce Barbara to get her to back off about sharing the Stenbeck fortune with Paul. Today’s episode was directed by Michael Eilbaum and written by David A. Levinson.
Transcripts from TVMegasite Vienna: Oh, god. Last night was amazing. Henry: You know the only thing that would have made it even better? Vienna: No. What? Henry: Was if we had the bullfrog. Vienna: Well, it wasn't your fault that the old woman got it off the shelf right before you got to it. Henry: Some people have no respect for special orders. [ Knock on door ] Ignore that. Vienna: What? Ignore what? Henry: Ah. [ Knocking continues ] Henry: [ Henry sighs ] I will get rid of them, whoever they are. Where are you going? Vienna: Freshen up. Audrey: Finally! I need to talk to you. Henry: I'm a little busy right now, mom. Audrey: Really? You just opened the door. How busy can you be? Henry: That's 'cause you wouldn't stop knocking. What do you want? Audrey: Have you received your latest payment of James' estate? Henry: Yeah. I'll make sure I send it to you. Audrey: No, no, no, no, no, no, no! I need it now. Henry: Why? Audrey: Because Ralph is expecting this check, and I don't want something ugly to happen, and I don't think you do either, right? So you need to give it to me because you did explain to me that we need to have this happen as quickly as possible. Henry: Okay, okay. Just come in. Audrey: Okay. Fine. Henry: You know, in the future, a text, maybe a little warning, that would be very much appreciated. Audrey: Gee, I am so very sorry. Henry: Okay. Here, just take this and get out, okay? Vienna: No. No, you don't! Henry: Vienna. Vienna: Oh, my god. Why are you giving so much money to your mother?
Henry: Sweetie, this check isn't for Audrey. Vienna: Then why are you giving it to her? Henry: So she can give it to Ralph to put into the charity. Vienna: And how can you be sure that she doesn't keep the money herself? Audrey: Oh, brother! You know, I can hear you over here! Why is it so hard for you to believe that I actually enjoy giving to those less fortunate than myself? Vienna: Do you know what I find hard to believe? That you can stand there and say that with a straight face. Audrey: Okay, fine. What will it take to prove to you that I'm extremely sincere? Vienna: Introduce me to this Ralph person. I want to meet him since he's getting all the money. Audrey: Okay. Fine, I will. But not today, because he's already downstairs waiting. Vienna: Fine. We'll meet him right now. Audrey: No, no, no, because that would mean holding him up, and we can't do that. Just give me the check, and I will take it down to him. Vienna: No. No, no, no, no, no, no. I'll give it to him myself or he doesn't get it at all.
Ralph: Rest assured that the children of adversity would be absolutely nowhere without the extraordinary generosity of men like Henry Coleman. Vienna: Mm-hmm. Ralph: It's very rare to find a man in his position who puts the needs of others before his own. Vienna: Well, it's not exactly a trait that runs in his family. Ralph: Then I have to assume that he's being influenced by the very special woman that's at his side. Vienna: I wish I could say that I've always been charitable myself, but I haven't. Ralph: Yeah, but don't you find that sometimes somebody will come along and they just open your heart? I mean, it changes you, doesn't it? Vienna: It does. Ralph: I've seen it happen time and time again. Vienna: Yes. Being with Henry has taught me it's just as wonderful to give as it is to receive. Ralph: Yeah. He's a man after my own heart. I couldn't agree more. Would you like to look at the wine list? Vienna: Yes. Ralph: That is a beautiful bracelet. May I? Vienna: Yes. It belonged to my grandma Lydia. Ralph: Is it part of a set? Vienna: How do you know? Ralph: I have an eye for beautiful things. Vienna: A smart man always knows his jewelry, huh? Henry: Ah! Vienna: Henry, are you okay? What's wrong? Henry: Ow. My stomach's upset all of a sudden. I think I should go. Excuse me for a minute. Ah, Barbara! Just the lovely lady I was looking for.
Barbara: Henry, for pete's sake, let me go! Henry: We need to talk, okay? Barbara: Then use your words, not your hands! Henry: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I apologize. Okay, look, I just didn't expect to run in to you, and then, suddenly, there you are! And I guess I got a little overeager, that's all. Barbara: To talk to me? Henry: Yeah. Hasn't that ever happened to you? Barbara: What? Henry: What? Barbara: What? What do you want to talk to me about? Henry: Just, you know -- Barbara: No, I don't. Henry: Okay. Then we definitely need to talk, absolutely. Barbara: You listen to me. I don't know what the hell is going on here, but if this is some kind of warped little game -- Henry: It's not a game, Barbara. I have what you want. Barbara: What I want is an explanation. Are you going to give me one? Henry: Oh, you bet I am, but not here. Let's go to your room. Barbara: No, no, no. I'm not going anywhere with you. I want to talk to you right here. Henry: We can't do that. Barbara: Why not? Henry: Because. Because if anyone overheard what I had to say, I'd be in a lot of trouble, and so would you. Barbara: What kind of trouble? Henry: Would you stop asking so many questions and just work with me here? Barbara: Hey, hey, hey! Let me out of here! Henry: This'll just take a minute, okay?
Barbara: You unlock that door or I'm calling security. Henry: You don't have to be afraid, Barbara. Barbara: I am not afraid. I am annoyed. Henry: I just wanted to talk somewhere where we wouldn't be interrupted. Barbara: Okay, talk. Tell me what's going on here, all right? And I don't appreciate being manhandled. Henry: I know. I'm so sorry about that. I'd apologize. Let's just sit down. Let's get comfortable. We can have a conversation. Whoa! The bullfrog. Where did you get this? Barbara: It's a gift for a friend. Henry: Hm. Barbara: Bachelorette party. Give me that. Now, enough. Tell me what is going on here. Henry: You can stop acting like you don't know, Barbara. You can stop denying it. Barbara: Denying what? Henry: The chemistry. Our chemistry. Barbara: Our what? How many martinis have you had this morning, Henry? Henry: I'm stone-cold sober, baby. Barbara: You are out of your mind. Henry: I know. It's a shock! It shocks me every time it comes out of my mouth. I just -- I can't help myself. Every time I look at you, the way you make me feel -- Barbara: You have feelings for me? What about the lovely Vienna? Henry: That's why I had to get you here, away from everyone else, where no one could see us together, Barbara. The only thing I'm after and the only thing I want is you.
Barbara: Henry, Henry, Henry, Henry. Get control of yourself now. Find what little sense you have and snap out of this! Henry: What do you mean? You don't feel it, too? Barbara: Feel what? Henry: What? The way the air changes whenever we're in a room together. When we were downstairs and I was holding your arm, I didn't want to let go. It was electrifying! Barbara: It was embarrassing. Henry: No, no. Please, don't belittle it like that. Please. Admitting a forbidden passion is dangerous, I know. As soon as you speak it out there, you can't take it back. Barbara: Oh, how I wish you could. Now, Henry, I'm sorry, but it's time for you to go because you're making a fool of yourself. Henry: No. [ Knock on door ] Vienna: Henry? Henry? Are you in there? [ Knock on door ] Open up. Henry?
[ Knock on door ] Vienna: Henry? Open up. I know you're in there! Henry! Barbara: Is this a setup or something? Henry: Of course it's not a setup. Would you just calm down. Take a breath. Fix your hair. Vienna: Henry. Henry: Liebchen! Vienna: Exactly what are you doing in here? Henry: I was just talking to Barbara. Barbara: Hello, Vienna. Vienna: Hi. I thought you had stomach trouble? Henry: Uh, yeah. It was a false alarm, but it is so sweet of you to come check on me. I feel so much better now. Vienna: Just like that. Henry: Yeah, just like that. You know what I think it was? I think it was all this arguing I've been doing, this battling about Stenbeck's estate, but Barbara and I, we've come to a mutually satisfying agreement, and I couldn't be happier. Vienna: What kind of an agreement? Barbara: Excuse me. Would you two mind taking this conversation someplace else? Henry: Of course not. Henry: Vienna. Bye, Barbara, or should I say -- a bientot.
Vienna: I'm confused. I thought that you and Barbara already decided that you were gonna split the inheritance 50/50 between you and Paul. Henry: I know that, but in any negotiation, there's a little wiggle room. Vienna: And exactly what did you have to wiggle? Henry: I just -- I tried to convince her that she wasn't doing Paul any favors by forcing him to take Stenbeck's money if he didn't want it. Vienna: And she's okay with you giving the whole inheritance away for charity? Henry: I just spoke from the heart, Vienna, and whatever I said she really needed to hear. Vienna: Oh, my god! I'm so proud of you! Oh, my god! Ooh! What's this? Henry: Ah, that. Well, this is something for you. Since we're in the spirit of giving. Bullfrog, baby. I'll race you to the lily pad. Goodness.
[ Henry laughing ] [ Frog croaking ] Henry: Feeling amphibious, and I think I like it! [ Cellphone ringing ] Damn it! Vienna: You're not gonna answer that, are you? Henry: I have to. It could be the charities. Hello? Barbara: Henry, its Barbara Ryan. Henry: Hello. Barbara: We need to get something straight. Henry: Okay. Barbara: If you think you can seduce me as a means to an end, you are sadly mistaken. Henry: I see. Barbara: I certainly hope you do, because my son earned his share of that money, and whether he wants it or not, I'm gonna make sure that he gets it. So don't you ever again try to pull what you tried to pull this afternoon because it will have absolutely no effect on me. Understand?
[ Knock on door ] Audrey: We need to talk. Henry: Shh, shh, shh, shh! Audrey: We need to talk right now! Henry: What's wrong now? Audrey: What do you mean? What is wrong? Ralph is furious with me. Vienna never gave him the check. Henry: Yeah, I know. I found it. Audrey: Well, then, just give it back! Henry: I can't! Audrey: Why not? Henry: Because then she'll ask what happened to it. Audrey: Oh, my goodness. You have got to get control of her, and you also need to talk to your little sister. Henry: Maddie? No, no, no, no. What does she have to do with this? Audrey: She was badmouthing me right in front of Ralph. Henry: Okay, mom. You see, this is a sign saying that we are way in over our heads. Audrey: It is also way too late to go back. Henry: No, no, no, it isn't. We can just tell Ralph that we've changed our minds. Audrey: That's not how this works. Don't you see, we started it, and we're gonna be in it until the end. Henry: Mom, what if the end comes at the bottom of a river? Audrey: That's why you have to fix this, 'cause if we mess up, that is exactly how we're both gonna end up!
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