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Tuesday, October 25, 2005 Maddie tells Henry about her frightful encounter with BJ. He tries to quit but BJ convinces him it was all a misunderstanding.
Henry is sitting in the car alone, practicing a speech. "Well, it's not easy being filthy rich, amber. But you play the cards you're dealt, you know? Unfortunately, I've been dealt a royal flush -- all hearts. Mine is beating for you, baby." Maddie appears at the window, "Baby?" "Hey," says Henry, "Brushing up on my Shakespeare, that's all. Little iambic pentameter. Hey, what are you doing here?" "Isn't this B.J.'S car?" asks Maddie, getting in. "Yeah. Uh, I'm keeping it warm for him while he's in Java talking to Katie. What's up?" asks Henry. "He knows. Yeah, B.J. Found out that I was the one e-mailing him as k-k-k-Katie, and he's really mad at me," says Maddie. "Good!" says Henry.
"B.J. Threatened me," says Maddie dramatically. "With what? I vote for grounding you for the rest of the year," jokes Henry. "I was trapped in a house alone with a guy who drinks chocolate milk, and you think it's funny?" asks Maddie. "I drink chocolate milk," says Henry. "Not at happy hour," says Maddie. "So he has a sweet tooth," shrugs Henry. "He has a mental defect, okay? This is a guy who has a crush on a girl who blew him off in high school. He's been here for how many weeks now, and he hasn't even told her who he really is. He's dangerous!" warns Maddie. "Let me -- let me tell you something about men, okay? Despite all of his millions and billions and whatever it is, B.J. Has less self-confidence than I do. I know who I am. I am a card shark who likes martinis. I have exquisite vocabulary and a wonderful little sister," smiles Henry, "He can't even admit to himself who he is, much less to Katie. He is nothing to worry about. He's a mosquito, he's a gnat." "Yeah? He threatened me," repeats Maddie. "So you say. I have yet to hear any details. Where, how, when?" asks Henry. "At Fairwinds this morning," says Maddie. Henry asks her what she was doing at Fairwinds. "Well, you said that we might be moving in there, so I thought I'd just take a look around," says Maddie. "Breaking and entering," says Henry. "No, huh-uh, no breaking. The door was open. You'd think I stole the guy's hard drive the way he reacted," says Maddie. "He has a secret, Maddie. He doesn't want people snooping around," says Henry. "You're defending him now? He threatened to call the police," reports Maddie. "I don't blame him," says Henry. "And then he said he would take care of me himself. I mean, afterwards, he was nice, but he had this weird look in his eye the whole time. If Katie hadn't have come in, I don't know what he would have done to me," says Maddie. "He said -- he said he would take care of you himself?" asks Henry, worried. "Yes, instead of calling the police. He wanted to scare me. And I know that, because later, he made it really clear that I wasn't to tell Katie what happened or what I knew or else. And I know that you think you've hit it rich with this guy..." "No, no, no, no, no, no. Listen to me. The only reason -- the only reason I took this job was so that I could take care of you," says Henry, "So if you're not feeling comfortable..." "Terrified," admits Maddie. "I'm sorry I made you scared. I'm gonna go talk to him," says Henry, reaching for the car door. "No, don't," says Maddie, stopping him.
"You cannot talk to B.J. He'll kill me," says Maddie. "I am your big brother. I'm not gonna let anybody threaten you. That's why I'm gonna quit," says Henry protectively. "Yeah, you quit, and then he'll hunt us down and pour battery acid in our ears while we're sleeping! The man is crazy. I don't even want you talking to him," says Maddie. "That's crazy talk. I'm not scared of B.J. Green. You sit tight. I'm gonna make sure you're never scared of him again either," says Henry. He leaves Maddie in the car and goes into Java, where BJ is upset after watching Katie leave with Mike. "B.J., Maddie says you threatened her. Uh, I realize she may have crossed a line, or two or three, but I can't have you frighten my little sister. So, I'm quitting, as of now. That's -- that's me quitting, okay? Our little pact is kaput. I'm finished. I'm through, finito. Your secret is no longer my secret. I am done, do you understand? D-o-n-e, done," says Henry, throwing the car keys on the table. BJ is deep in thought drinking his chocolate milk and doesn't seem to hear. "Did you hear a word I said? I quit," repeats Henry. "Henry, sit down. Can I buy you a glass of milk?" offers BJ. "I've got a lactose... thing," says Henry. "Listen, your sister, she's a very creative young lady. Vivid imagination," says BJ. "She said you scared her, B.J.," says Henry, taking a seat at the table. "Well, I hope so. I mean, can you imagine if she decided to steal someone's identity and e-mail the president? They'd have her thrown away to who knows where and you'd never see her again," says BJ. "Now, that's an extreme example, but you do have a point," admits Henry. "All I'm saying is -- children, they need guidance and a firm hand, right? Now, she's your sister, so I don't need to lecture you on discipline, but all I really wanted to do was make her think twice before she broke into someone's house or pretended to be someone else. You wanna know the truth? The truth is I'm very fond of Maddie," says BJ. "You are?" asks Henry doubtfully. "Yes. Oh, yes. She's a very bright girl. You know what, I bet? I bet she wins one of those scholarships I established. Don't tell her I said so, though. Because I don't want her to feel indebted to me," says BJ. "No, of course, I wouldn't. I was -- trying to figure out how I'm going to pay for college," says Henry, beginning to cave. "Well, there you go. Problem solved. I'll be sorry to see you go though, Henry. That is if you're still determined to quit," says BJ.
"Well, make sure you let me know where your next address is going to be so I can mail you your last check," says BJ. "My sister has this tendency to overreact," admits Henry. "So, you'll stay?" asks BJ. "You know, she's in an excellent school right now -- Oakdale Latin. And I'm pretty sure she's going to get into a top-notch university," says Henry. "Where she will matriculate for free," adds BJ. "Yeah -- yeah, I can stay. Absolutely. Let me just talk to Maddie first," says Henry. "Okay, well, make sure you let her know you stood up to me -- and that I apologized for frightening her," says BJ. "That's very noble of you, B.J., I will," says Henry. "All right. And then hurry back, okay, because I have a very important job for you," says BJ. "Righty-O," smiles Henry. "All right. Hey!" calls BJ, tossing Henry the car keys as he leaves the coffee shop. "You're quite a nuisance, Maddie Coleman. It's time that I got rid of you," mutters BJ, picking up the phone. He calls Kim and has Maddie fired from WOAK.
Henry rejoins Maddie in BJ's car. "What took you so long? I was worried," says Maddie. "I was talking to B.J. -- Who asked me to apologize to you," says Henry. "You're kidding," says Maddie. "No, no, no. He was very contrite. You know, he's just a little pussycat. Meow, meow. He really -- you just tickle him underneath the chin. Meow, meow, meow," purrs Henry. "Did you quit?" asks Maddie. "I quit many times. And he insisted that I stay. He begged me to stay, actually. And I said, 'Well, beej, you know, on the condition that, A -- you treat my sister with respect, and B -- you never scare her again.' And he agreed," says Henry. "Okay, but what if he..." "If he ever steps out of line? You tell me, I'll punch him in the nose and then I'll quit. All right?" says Henry. Maddie smiles and kisses him on the cheek. "What's that for?" asks Henry. "You are just the best big brother in the world," says Maddie. "This is true. You stick with me, kid, and one day I might even put a roof over your head," laughs Henry. "Where are you going?" asks Maddie as Henry reaches for the door again. "He's got some business he needs to talk about. You, young lady -- you stay out of trouble, will you?" says Henry. "Hey, Henry? Please be careful, okay?" asks Maddie. "That's my middle name. Meow, meow, meow!" smiles Henry. Henry goes back into Java and sits down with BJ. "How's your sister?" asks BJ. "Partly cloudy, but she'll get over it. She won't be a problem," reports Henry, "So, you had something you wanted to discuss?" "Yeah. Katie and Mike," says BJ. "You want me to help you with Katie and Mike?" asks Henry. "I want you to separate them," says BJ. "Separate them?" repeats Henry. "Yeah -- it's only temporary, but it's very important. I hope I can count on you, Henry," says BJ. Henry doesn't look too sure. Today’s episode was directed by John O'Connell and written by Elizabeth Page.
Transcripts from TVMegasite Henry: Well, it's not easy being filthy rich, amber. But you play the cards you're dealt, you know? Unfortunately, I've been dealt a royal flush -- all hearts. Mine is beating for you, baby. Maddie: Baby? [ Maddie laughs ] Henry: Hey. Maddie: Hey. Henry: Brushing up on my Shakespeare, that's all. Little iambic pentameter. Hey, what are you doing here? Maddie: Isn't this B.J.'S car? Henry: Yeah. Uh, I'm keeping it warm for him while he's in Java talking to Katie. What's up? Maddie: He knows. Yeah, B.J. Found out that I was the one e-mailing him as k-k-k-Katie, and he's really mad at me. Henry: Good.
Maddie: B.J. Threatened me. Henry: With what? I vote for grounding you for the rest of the year. Maddie: I was trapped in a house alone with a guy who drinks chocolate milk, and you think it's funny? Henry: I drink chocolate milk. Maddie: Not at happy hour. Henry: So he has a sweet tooth. Maddie: He has a mental defect, okay? This is a guy who has a crush on a girl who blew him off in high school. He's been here for how many weeks now, and he hasn't even told her who he really is. He's dangerous. Henry: Let me -- let me tell you something about men, okay? Despite all of his millions and billions and whatever it is, B.J. Has less self-confidence than I do. I know who I am. I am a card shark who likes martinis. I have exquisite vocabulary and a wonderful little sister. Maddie: Aw. Henry: He can't even admit to himself who he is, much less to Katie. He is nothing to worry about. He's a mosquito, he's a gnat. Maddie: Yeah? He threatened me. Henry: So you say. I have yet to hear any details. Where, how, when? Maddie: At Fairwinds this morning. Henry: Back up. What were you doing at Fairwinds? Maddie: Nothing. Henry: Nothing? Maddie: Well, you said that we might be moving in there, so I thought I'd just take a look around. Henry: Breaking and entering. Maddie: No, huh-uh, no breaking. The door was open. You'd think I stole the guy's hard drive the way he reacted. Henry: He has a secret, Maddie. He doesn't want people snooping around. Maddie: You're defending him now? He threatened to call the police. Henry: I don't blame him. Maddie: And then he said he would take care of me himself. I mean, afterwards, he was nice, but he had this weird look in his eye the whole time. If Katie hadn't have come in, I don't know what he would have done to me. Henry: He said -- he said he would take care of you himself? Maddie: Yes, instead of calling the police. He wanted to scare me. And I know that, because later, he made it really clear that I wasn't to tell Katie what happened or what I knew or else. And I know that you think you've hit it rich with this guy -- Henry: No, no, no, no, no, no. Listen to me. The only reason -- the only reason I took this job was so that I could take care of you. So if you're not feeling comfortable -- Maddie: Terrified. Henry: I'm sorry I made you scared. I'm gonna go talk to him. Maddie: No, don't.
Maddie: You cannot talk to B.J. He'll kill me. Henry: I am your big brother. I'm not gonna let anybody threaten you. That's why I'm gonna quit. Maddie: Yeah, you quit, and then he'll hunt us down and pour battery acid in our ears while we're sleeping! The man is crazy. I don't even want you talking to him. Henry: That's crazy talk. I'm not scared of B.J. Green. You sit tight. I'm gonna make sure you're never scared of him again either. B.J., Maddie says you threatened her. Uh, I realize she may have crossed a line, or two or three, but I can't have you frighten my little sister. So, I'm quitting, as of now. That's -- that's me quitting, okay? Our little pact is kaput. I'm finished. I'm through, finito. Your secret is no longer my secret. I am done, do you understand? D-o-n-e, done.
Henry: Did you hear a word I said? I quit. B.J.: Henry, sit down. Can I buy you a glass of milk? Henry: I've got a lactose thing. B.J.: Listen, your sister, she's a very creative young lady. Vivid imagination. Henry: She said you scared her, B.J. B.J.: Well, I hope so. I mean, can you imagine if she decided to steal someone's identity and e-mail the president? They'd have her thrown away to who knows where and you'd never see her again. Henry: Now, that's an extreme example, but you do have a point. B.J.: All I'm saying is -- children, they need guidance and a firm hand, right? Now, she's your sister, so I don't need to lecture you on discipline, but all I really wanted to do was make her think twice before she broke into someone's house or pretended to be someone else. You wanna know the truth? The truth is I'm very fond of Maddie. Henry: You are? B.J.: Yes. Oh, yes. She's a very bright girl. You know what, I bet? I bet she wins one of those scholarships I established. Don't tell her I said so, though. Because I don't want her to feel indebted to me. Henry: No, of course, I wouldn't. I was -- trying to figure out how I'm going to pay for college. B.J.: Well, there you go. Problem solved. I'll be sorry to see you go though, Henry. That is if you're still determined to quit.
B.J.: Well, make sure you let me know where your next address is going to be so I can mail you your last check. Henry: My sister has this tendency to overreact. B.J.: So, you'll stay? Henry: You know, she's in an excellent school right now -- Oakdale Latin. And I'm pretty sure she's going to get into a top-notch university. B.J.: Where she will matriculate for free. Henry: Yeah -- yeah, I can stay. Absolutely. Let me just talk to Maddie first. B.J.: Okay, well, make sure you let her know you stood up to me -- and that I apologized for frightening her. Henry: That's very noble of you, B.J., I will. B.J.: All right. And then hurry back, okay, because I have a very important job for you. Henry: Righty-O. B.J.: All right. Hey! You're quite a nuisance, Maddie Coleman. It's time that I got rid of you. Maddie: What took you so long? I was worried. Henry: I was talking to B.J. -- Who asked me to apologize to you. Maddie: You're kidding. Henry: No, no, no. He was very contrite. You know, he's just a little pussycat. Meow, meow. He really -- you just tickle him underneath the chin. [ Henry purrs ] Meow, meow, meow. Maddie: Did you quit? Henry: I quit many times. And he insisted that I stay. He begged me to stay, actually. And I said, "well, beej, you know, on the condition that, a -- you treat my sister with respect, and b -- you never scare her again." And he agreed. Maddie: Okay, but what if he -- Henry: If he ever steps out of line? You tell me, I'll punch him in the nose and then I'll quit. All right? What's that for? Maddie: You are just the best big brother in the world. Henry: This is true. You stick with me, kid, and one day I might even put a roof over your head. Maddie: Where are you going? Henry: He's got some business he needs to talk about. You, young lady -- you stay out of trouble, will you? Maddie: Hey, Henry? Please be careful, okay? Henry: That's my middle name. [ Henry purrs ] Meow, meow, meow! [ Maddie laughs ] Maddie: Okay. Oh, man.
B.J.: How's your sister? Henry: Partly cloudy, but she'll get over it. She won't be a problem. B.J.: Glad to hear it. Henry: So, you had something you wanted to discuss? B.J.: Yeah. Katie and Mike. Henry: You want me to help you with Katie and Mike? B.J.: I want you to separate them. Henry: Separate them? B.J.: Yeah -- it's only temporary, but it's very important. I hope I can count on you, Henry.
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