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Tuesday, November 7, 2000

On today's show, Henry walks in on Chris and Emily after their night of "working in the nude!"

Chris and Emily wake up in Emily's office the night after the party, naked and covered in old Intruder issues. They get dressed and Emily tries to convince Chris that it was just one night and they should forget about it. He refuses, and asking her to give their relationship a chance. She agrees and he picks her up in excitement, when in walks Henry! "You better put that woman down before you drop her." Chris mutters, "Hi, Henry" and puts Emily down. "I'm so glad the two of you are up, can I call the maintenance crew in now?"

Emily casually asks, "Henry, when did you get in?" "Crack of dawn. I thought I'd be the early bird, but what do you know, you already got the worm!" Emily tries to explain that they were up all night working on a story, but Henry doesn't buy it. "There's nothing like a good work ethic to get the creative juices flowing. And working in the nude, Emily, that is so innovative, especially in November!" Emily pretends not to know what Henry is talking about, and he explains how he came in early and heard someone snoring in Emily's office. So he peeked in, "And there were both of you, displayed out on the couch. I was shocked, what with your clothes and... whatevers thrown thither and yon. I thought I'd stumbled on the scene of a crime, I thought maybe both of you were dead! But then I saw the little goose bumps on your respective derrieres so I just covered you in yesterday's news... Woah, look at the time. Listen, I suggest you both go home and shower off the newsprint before the rest of the staff gets in." Emily thanks Henry for his suggestion, and asks for his discretion. "Oh yeah, of course. But I will have to make a full report of this sordid incident to our leader."  Emily protests, saying that Craig is not the boss, she is. "Then act like it instead of vamping around here like some sex-starved Aphrodite on the half shell." This makes Emily very angry, and she explains that she makes the rules at the paper and can do whatever she wants, and it doesn't matter what anyone thinks. "Are you insane? Or are you just inexperienced? We run a muck-raking operation here, boys and girls, and in order to do that successfully we have to rise above the muck. If we make better news after hours than we do from nine to five, we're in serious trouble. Now your little escapade last night could take us down. At the very least, it could cause you to lose the Intruder."

Emily tries to defend herself against Henry's threats, saying, "If ratting me out's part of your job description, then go for it. But if that's your best shot, Craig may get disenchanted with your administrative abilities a lot sooner than I had hoped." "That sounds like a bad case of wishful thinking." "You know, anyone as small- minded as you usually imagines everyone else is too." She goes on to explain that Craig cares about seeing results, he wouldn't care about this. Henry tells Emily that protecting Craig's investment is part of his job description, and Emily and Chris' actions could jeopardize the future of the paper. Emily claims that's ridiculous. "You think a mammoth lawsuit for sexual harassment is ridiculous? It is front burner news these days. Our competition would love it. Can you see the headlines, Emily? 'Intruder editor busted in love nest,' 'Intruder gives shame to the game,' etc. etc." He goes on to explain that "This boy is an underling and you had sex with him right here in this office. Can you imagine a better case for sexual harassment?" Chris steps in, saying he would never sue Emily. Henry responds, "What if your little office romance sours? We've all been there." "Have you, Henry, ever?" asks
Emily sarcastically. Henry points out that Chris could be passed over for a raise, he could be replaced by a "newer, handsomer intern." Chris tells him to shut up, and Henry says, "I know you're both basking in this rosy glow, but things can change. Our sweet rookie here could turn vicious." He reminds them both that Chris has a history of revenge, the Endicott Awards for example. He turns to Emily and says, "Oh look, she's getting goose bumps on her little stick arms. This thing is so flimsy and it is cold outside. By the way, what was that thing you were wearing? It was very fetching, but strange. Not quite Gatsby, it was more like a reject from a lingerie catalogue." Emily is furious, and tells Henry, "I hope you choke and die, Henry," as she storms out of the room. "What? What did I say?" Chris says that he should punch Henry, and Henry replies, "After last night I'm surprised you can walk. I'm kidding, I am just kidding." Chris warns Henry, "This is a dangerous game. You wanna be a player? You better learn the rules." Henry can't believe that this kid would have the nerve to threaten him and asks, "You aren't really threatening me, are you?" "Yeah, I am." Henry says to Chris, "I think all that testosterone's going to your brain, blowing - excuse the expression - the wiring. Don't do anything you'll regret. Not anything else." Chris insists that he does not regret what happened, and tells Henry, "I'm just sorry you're jealous, you are a lonely guy. I just sort of feel sorry for you." "Come on, now, you're just buttering me up. Next thing I know you'll be putting in for overtime for last night's frolic. I'm sorry, man, but sleeping with the boss is a freebie." Chris says that he has an idea gonna do unto you what you love to do unto others." "Say what?" Chris explains that there must be a lot of people who hate Henry and have the "skinny" on him, he just needs to find them. Henry sarcastically says, "I'm shaking in my loafers." Chris tells him not to forget the first rule of any game, don't underestimate the enemy. He leaves the room and Henry looks worried. Henry has a past, and Chris is determined to find it!

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