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Friday, November 11, 2005
Henry wakes up lying on the floor of BJ's wine cellar. I've died and gone to heaven. Or am I just in B.J.'S wine cellar? B.J. WOAK, we argued, he gave me a martini -- the martini!" says Henry, remembering. He sits up, only to grab his head and fall back down. "Oh, man. Oh, bad idea, Coleman. Oh. Ooh." He slowly gets up and makes his way over to the gate, which he finds is locks. "Of course, it wouldn't be that easy," he says. He checks his pockets and says, "Great, no cell phone, that's great. How'd Mike get out of here?" He walks away from the gate, and BJ enters behind him. Henry turns around and see him, saying, "Hello, B.J. You mix quite a martini. If I didn't know any better, I'd say there was more than vodka and vermouth to it." "Henry, shut up," orders BJ. "Come on, this isn't just a social call? You're here to dispose of me, too, aren't you?" asks Henry. "Maybe I am," replies BJ mysteriously.
"If you're going to dispose of me, the least you can is give me an hour in here with a corkscrew," pleads Henry. "I'm really sorry it had to be this way," says BJ. "Oh, man. Aaah," moans Henry. BJ asks what's the matter and Henry answers, "B.J., I'm getting the most incredible amnesia all of a sudden. I can't remember a single thing since my morning croissant and coffee." "Yes, you are a very funny guy, Henry, but it's a little too late for laughs," says BJ, "You've already threatened me with going to the police, and I like being threatened just as much as I like the police." "You know what we could do? We could just back up a few hours and it'll be a great big do-over? What do you say?" suggests Henry. "You brought this on yourself, okay? And now, you're paying the price for your indiscretion," scolds BJ. "What price? What's the currency exactly we're talking about? Dollars, euros -- fingers, toes?" asks BJ. "I'll decide that after I've finalized my plans, and that could take a while," says BJ. "Great. I'm glad to hear that, because maybe I can turn this whole mess around. Give me another opportunity here, B.J. I will prove to you that I can be trusted," says Henry. "Henry, I've offered you a deal before and you refused it, so -- it's time to pay the piper," says BJ.
"Believe me, boss, I have learned my lesson. The mickey you slipped me is hammering it home right now," Henry assures BJ. "Do you really think a little headache can pay for what you've done?" asks BJ. "What have I done, really? Let's talk about that for a second. It was a slip of the tongue. It was a minor indiscretion, a little mistake. I didn't mean any of it," says Henry. "I can't trust you anymore," sighs BJ. "I -- I have always been loyal to you. Until today. When you were wooing Katie, did I not keep my mouth shut? Did I not lock Mike Kasnoff in this very wine cellar?" Henry reminds him. "Yet, somehow, on Halloween night he managed to escape," observes BJ. "I have no idea how that happened. It had nothing to do with me. And the point is, I knew all about your plans, and I didn't tell a soul," says Henry. "Maybe you were just storing it all up for the cops," suggests BJ. "Wha -- no! I wouldn't do that. Well, until I heard something vaguely about disposals, I got a little case of the willies. But how do I even know what disposal means? Really. You could be talking about trash collecting on some new beachfront property that you're buying up. I couldn't go to the cops with something as flimsy as the disposal, they'd laugh me right out of the station. I'm not your enemy, B.J. My lips are zipped and the zipper is broken," promises Henry. "Wow, you sure can talk a lot for somebody who supposedly has a zipped lip," observes BJ. Henry silently pantomimes zipping his lips and throwing the key over his shoulder. "Please let me go," he begs. "I will. Right after I do what I need to do without you or the police interfering," says BJ, leaving Henry alone in the cell.
"Help! Somebody help me down here! Help!" cries Henry, pounding on the gate. "Ow!" he says, hurting himself. "Pull yourself together here, Coleman. Maddie needs you. Maddie needs you. Maddie is probably worried sick about you." He hears someone upstairs and looks up. "Hey! Hello? Hey, I'm down here! Hello? Can you hear me? I'm down here. Help! Help!" After a while of calling Henry gets bored and only half-heartedly continues his cries for help. But then he hears someone approaching. "Thank you, thank you, thank you, whoever you are. You've just saved my life," says Henry. A tall blond woman dressed in black opens the gate and enters. "And I love you, I really do! You're a miracle! I'm saved," says Henry, falling to his knees. He falls backwards onto the floor and the woman stands above him. "I'm redeemed. I'm, at your mercy, madam!" he says, in awe.
Today’s episode was directed by Maria Wagner and written by Judy Tate.
Transcripts from TVMegasite Henry: I've died and gone to heaven. Or am I just in B.J.'S wine cellar? B.J. WOAK, we argued, he gave me a martini -- the martini! Oh, man. Oh, bad idea, Coleman. Oh. Ooh. Of course, it wouldn't be that easy.
Henry: Great, no cell phone, that's great. How'd Mike get out of here? Hello, B.J. You mix quite a martini. If I didn't know any better, I'd say there was more than vodka and vermouth to it. B.J.: Henry, shut up. Henry: Come on, this isn't just a social call? You're here to dispose of me, too, aren't you? B.J.: Maybe I am.
Henry: If you're going to dispose of me, the least you can is give me an hour in here with a corkscrew. B.J.: I'm really sorry it had to be this way. Henry: Oh, man. Aaah. B.J.: What's the matter with you? Henry: B.J., I'm getting the most incredible amnesia all of a sudden. I can't remember a single thing since my morning croissant and coffee. B.J.: Yes, you are a very funny guy, Henry, but it's a little too late for laughs. Henry: Why? B.J.: Well, because you've already threatened me with going to the police, and I like being threatened just as much as I like the police. Henry: You know what we could do? We could just back up a few hours and it'll be a great big do-over? What do you say? B.J.: You brought this on yourself, okay? And now, you're paying the price for your indiscretion. Henry: What price? What's the currency exactly we're talking about? Dollars, euros -- fingers, toes? B.J.: I'll decide that after I've finalized my plans, and that could take a while. Henry: Great. I'm glad to hear that, because maybe I can turn this whole mess around. Give me another opportunity here, B.J. I will prove to you that I can be trusted. B.J.: Henry, I've offered you a deal before and you refused it, so -- it's time to pay the piper.
Henry: Believe me, boss, I have learned my lesson. The mickey you slipped me is hammering it home right now. B.J.: Do you really think a little headache can pay for what you've done? Henry: What have I done, really? Let's talk about that for a second. It was a slip of the tongue. It was a minor indiscretion, a little mistake. I didn't mean any of it. B.J.: I can't trust you anymore. Henry: I -- I have always been loyal to you. Until today. When you were wooing Katie, did I not keep my mouth shut? Did I not lock Mike Kasnoff in this very wine cellar? B.J.: Yet, somehow, on Halloween night he managed to escape. Henry: I have no idea how that happened. It had nothing to do with me. And the point is, I knew all about your plans, and I didn't tell a soul. B.J.: Maybe you were just storing it all up for the cops. Henry: Wha -- no! I wouldn't do that. Well, until I heard something vaguely about disposals, I got a little case of the willies. But how do I even know what disposal means? Really. You could be talking about trash collecting on some new beachfront property that you're buying up. I couldn't go to the cops with something as flimsy as the disposal, they'd laugh me right out of the station. I'm not your enemy, B.J. My lips are zipped and the zipper is broken. B.J.: Wow, you sure can talk a lot for somebody who supposedly has a zipped lip. Yes? Henry: Please let me go. B.J.: I will. Right after I do what I need to do without you or the police interfering.
Henry: Help! Somebody help me down here! Help! Ow! Pull yourself together here, Coleman. Maddie needs you. Maddie needs you. Maddie is probably worried sick about you. Yeah. Okay. Hey! Hello? Hey, I'm down here! Hello? Can you hear me? I'm down here. Help! Help!
Henry: Help, somebody help! Somebody help me please. Thank you, thank you, thank you, whoever you are. You've just saved my life. And I love you, I really do! You're a miracle! I'm saved. I'm redeemed. I'm, at your mercy, madam.
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