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Monday, November 14, 2005
Henry is lying on the floor of BJ's wine cellar, trapped by a large blond woman. "If I'm dreaming, please don't wake me," he says. "Is no dream. Why you make so much noise?" she asks. "'Cause I'm trapped in a wine cellar without a corkscrew. You don't know why I'm down here? You mean, you just heard me yelling and you came a-running? You angel, you," says Henry, standing up and moving towards her. "No touching Olga!" says the woman, backing away. "Olga. That's such a strong, memorable name, Olga. I'm Henry. Henry Coleman," says Henry, reaching out to shake her hand. Olga merely looks at him. "No touching Olga. Right. You can't be too careful. I don't blame you. You have no idea what could be lurking down here in a wine cellar. But me, I'm harmless, Olga. I wouldn't bruise a grape. Not that there's anything wrong with that," says Henry. "Olga go now," says Olga. "Wait, wait, but you just got here. And I'm just so -- I'm so happy to see you. Here I thought I was gonna be trapped down here forever, and then you came and rescued me. You have rescued me, right?" asks Henry. "Olga keep you safe and sound," replies Olga. "Oh, Olga, that's music to my ears, it really is. Now, I've got a little bit of business I need to transact. A certain fellow who's up to no good. He's bad, actually. He's very, very, very bad. He's going to dispose of someone. As in take a long hike off a short pier, you know?" explains Henry. Olga doesn't understand. "Your credit is no longer good ever, anywhere," tries Henry, to no effect. "Kaput?" says Henry. "Oh, kaput. Ja," nods Olga. "Ja, ja, ja, ja. But thanks to you, I think I might be able to stop him," says Henry.
"You know, Olga, I've enjoyed our little chat, and maybe after this is all put to bed, so to speak, we can meet on a mountaintop somewhere? Or a fjord?" suggests Henry. "Olga no like fjord. Too damp," says Olga. "Mountaintop it is. Until then, auf wiedersehen, baby." Henry tries to step around Olga but she steps in front of him. "Wow, frisky. I like that in tall blondes, I do. But you know, Olga, life is all about timing, don't you think? And unless I get out of here, B.J. is going to hurt someone who means a lot to me, and I can't let that happen. So, as much as I'd like to take a little roll on the cement, I'm afraid I'm just going to have to pass." Henry tries to leave again; this time, Olga pushes him back. "Whoa, hey! Hey, ho, easy. What happened to safe and sound there? Look, I've been known to sit up and beg, especially for the right woman and a shaker full of martinis, but no touching Henry!" "Then Henery be good," orders Olga. "Olga, I don't think you understand. I have go to get out of here," pleads Henry. "No let Henery go," insists Olga. "You work for B.J.?" asks Henry. "Of course! What you think?" replies Olga. "I think that I have had a misunderstanding with B.J., and it's something that I need to resolve sooner rather than later. You see, he thinks I overheard something. Something about disposals, and I understand now he was talking about garbage disposals. He's doing some remodeling on this wonderful beachfront property he has. It's lovely. But he thinks I misunderstood everything, and now he's scared I'm going to go to the police," explains Henry. "Olga don't like police!" says Olga. "I don't like them either, Olga. I hate the police. Why would I ever rat him out? I wouldn't do that. B.J.'s given me a job, he's given me a home. He's going to put my kid sister through college. I don't mess with that. I'm sure that you, as a fellow employee, can understand my urgency. So if you don't mind, I'm just going to pop on upstairs and I'm gonna talk to Mr. Green, all right?" says Henry. "No go upstairs," says Olga. "Okay, but I feel like we've turned a page here. We're on the same vibe, right? So why don't you -- do you have a cell phone?" asks Henry. "No," replies Olga. "Okay then, we can just call him from upstairs, huh?" suggests Henry. "No! No go upstairs!" repeats Olga. "Olga, I have got to get out of here," says Henry. "Sorry, Charlie," says Olga.
"You're not the boss of me," says Henry. "Mr. Green is boss," says Olga. "Yeah, he is. And I'm afraid I'm going to have to report you for insubordination. And belligerence above and beyond your job description," threatens Henry. "You are cute, Henry. Not much muscles, but you are cute," smiles Olga. "I'm sorry, excuse me, what did you just say to me? Not much muscle? What, are you kidding? I'll have you know I wrestled in college. I would have, if they would have let me on the team. Look, you ask any woman I have ever dated. You're not going to pin Henry Coleman down, okay? Because I float like a butterfly, baby. I sting like a bee," says Henry. "That is boxing, not wrestling," says Olga. "And you would know that, wouldn't you, Olga? Listen, sweetie, I'm going to put this to you straight. I've got to get out of here because B.J.'s going to hurt someone who used to consider me a friend. I'm not going to let that happen. I'm a man on a mission. So I don't want to have to hurt you, but it may come down to that. And all the whimpering and crying and blubbering isn't going to stop me," warns Henry. "Olga is more worried about Henery," says Olga. "Don't you worry about me, Olga. I've got a black belt," says Henry. "In karate?" asks Olga. "In my closet. And I know how to wear it. So step aside, you blonde goddess, you. This is Henry Coleman coming through." Henry moves to walk past Olga and she grabs his arm and flips him onto his back. "Oh! Ow!" cries Henry, writhing in pain.
"Toes are moving?" asks Olga. "Toes, Olga, are at the end of my legs, which hurt. Hurt," says Henry from the floor. "Sorry Henry, but Olga have orders," says Olga. "Do those orders include helping me up?" asks Henry. BJ enters the cellar and says, "No. They don't. Nice work, Olga." "Thank you, Mr. Green," says Olga, leaving them alone. "Where did you find her? A snow bank somewhere? Easy, easy, easy!" says Henry as BJ helps him up. "I'm glad you're here, B.J. I think I needed to explain something to you. I think you thought I heard something, and I didn't. But even if it did, why would I go with the cops? What have they ever done for me? Nothing. Are they going to put my little sister through college? No way! So I want you to know. I want you to know, from the bottom of my heart, you can trust me," Henry assures BJ. "Henry, I believe you," says BJ, hugging Henry. "You do? You do. Of course you do, that's good. Because I'm as loyal, Beej, I'm loyal as an eagle scout. Great. I'm glad we had this talk. I'll be talking to you soon. You're not going to let me go, are you? Look, I think you need to understand that people are going to notice that I am gone. I'm a memorable guy. My barstool at the Lakeview goes empty for even a couple of days -- people are going to know something's up, you know?" says Henry. "People are already starting to notice. Your little sister, she's asking questions," says BJ. "If you've laid a finger on my little sister..." "Henry, Henry, relax. I am not interested in Maddie. Although I could be, if you don't cooperate," threatens BJ.
Meanwhile, Maddie is at Java telling Casey how worried she is about Henry. Her cell phone rings - it's Henry. "Henry, where are you? And what happened to your cell phone? And why was your shoe in the filing cabinet?" asks Maddie. Behind Henry, BJ says, "Convince her you're fine, or I just may have to pay your sister a little visit." "Hey, I had to go on a little business trip. Very last minute. B.J. Insisted. I'm in Palo Alto," says Henry. "But why didn't you call me?" asks Maddie. "You know Palo Alto, it's near wine country?" hints Henry. "Yeah, in California, like B.J. said," replies Maddie impatiently. "Oh now Maddie, quit your whining. I called you as soon as I could," says Henry pointedly. "I'm not whining," says Maddie, confused. "Whine, whine, whine, I never do enough for you. I'm always in the cellar as far as you're concerned," says Henry. He catches BJ's eye and says, "I've gotta go, my cell phone's breaking up." "But you don't even have your cell phone, I have it. I found it under the table," Maddie reminds him. "Oh, isn't that a miracle, I thought it was gone for good," says Henry. "Say goodbye, Henry," orders BJ. "Goodbye, Maddie," says Henry obediently. "Wait! Tell me where you are. What's your phone number?" asks Maddie. "I love you, Maddie, don't you ever forget that," says Henry. "That was very stupid," says BJ, grabbing the phone from Henry.
"I always tell Madeline I love her before I hang up. If I hadn't, she would've been suspicious," says Henry. "Do you always tell her to stop whining?" asks BJ. "When she is whining," replies Henry. "You know, I could have you disposed of right now. Just one word to Olga," threatens BJ. "Olga wouldn't hurt me. Olga's fond of me," bluffs Henry. "Olga!" calls BJ. "Okay, okay. No, wait, wait, wait. I'm sorry if you misconstrued my attempt to mollify my sister. But as I'm sure as you are aware of, Madeline can be very persistent. I need to make sure that she believed me, which is why I kept her on the phone an extra minute or two so that she could know without shadow of a doubt that I'm alive and well," explains Henry, as BJ tightens his tie. "Well, just one more stunt like that and you'll wish you were dead," smiles BJ, patting Henry on the cheek and leaving him alone in his cell.
Today’s episode was directed by Jennifer Pepperman and written by Elizabeth Page.
Transcripts from TVMegasite Henry: If I'm dreaming, please don't wake me. Olga: Is no dream. Why you make so much noise? Henry: 'Cause I'm trapped in a wine cellar without a corkscrew. You don't know why I'm down here? You mean, you just heard me yelling and you came a-running? You angel, you. Olga: No touching Olga. Henry: Olga. That's such a strong, memorable name, Olga. I'm Henry. Henry Coleman. No touching Olga. Right. You can't be too careful. I don't blame you. You have no idea what could be lurking down here in a wine cellar. But me, I'm harmless, Olga. I wouldn't bruise a grape. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Olga: Olga go now. Henry: Wait, wait, but you just got here. And I'm just so -- I'm so happy to see you. Here I thought I was gonna be trapped down here forever, and then you came and rescued me. You have rescued me, right? Olga: Olga keep you safe and sound. Henry: Oh, Olga, that's music to my ears, it really is. Now, I've got a little bit of business I need to transact. A certain fellow who's up to no good. He's bad, actually. He's very, very, very bad. He's going to dispose of someone. As in take a long hike off a short pier, you know? Your credit is no longer good ever, anywhere. Kaput? Olga: Oh, kaput. Ja. Henry: Ja, ja, ja, ja. But thanks to you, I think I might be able to stop him. [ Henry chuckles ]
Henry: You know, Olga, I've enjoyed our little chat, and maybe after this is all put to bed, so to speak, we can meet on a mountaintop somewhere? Or a fjord? Olga: Olga no like fjord. Too damp. Henry: Mountaintop it is. Until then, auf wiedersehen, baby. Wow, frisky. [ Henry growls ] I like that in tall blondes, I do. But you know, Olga, life is all about timing, don't you think? And unless I get out of here, B.J. is going to hurt someone who means a lot to me, and I can't let that happen. So, as much as I'd like to take a little roll on the cement, I'm afraid I'm just going to have to pass. Whoa, hey! Hey, ho, easy. What happened to safe and sound there? Look, I've been known to sit up and beg, especially for the right woman and a shaker full of martinis, but no touching Henry! Olga: Then Henery be good. Henry: Olga, I don't think you understand. I have go to get out of here. Olga: No let Henery go. Henry: You work for B.J.? Olga: Of course! What you think? Henry: I think that I have had a misunderstanding with B.J., and it's something that I need to resolve sooner rather than later. You see, he thinks I overheard something. Something about disposals, and i understand now he was talking about garbage disposals. He's doing some remodeling on this wonderful beachfront property he has. It's lovely. But he thinks I misunderstood everything, and now he's scared I'm going to go to the police. Olga: Olga don't like police. Henry: I don't like them either, Olga. I hate the police. Why would I ever rat him out? I wouldn't do that. B.J.'s given me a job, he's given me a home. He's going to put my kid sister through college. I don't mess with that. I'm sure that you, as a fellow employee, can understand my urgency. So if you don't mind, I'm just going to pop on upstairs and I'm gonna talk to Mr. Green, all right? Olga: No go upstairs. Henry: Okay, but I feel like we've turned a page here. We're on the same vibe, right? So why don't you -- do you have a cell phone? Olga: No. Henry: Okay then, we can just call him from upstairs, huh? Olga: No! No go upstairs. Henry: Olga, I have got to get out of here. Olga: Sorry, Charlie.
Henry: You're not the boss of me. Olga: Mr. Green is boss. Henry: Yeah, he is. And I'm afraid I'm going to have to report you for insubordination. And belligerence above and beyond your job description. Olga: You are cute, Henry. Not much muscles, but you are cute. Henry: I'm sorry, excuse me, what did you just say to me? Not much muscle? What, are you kidding? I'll have you know I wrestled in college. I would have, if they would have let me on the team. Look, you ask any woman I have ever dated. You're not going to pin Henry Coleman down, okay? Because I float like a butterfly, baby. I sting like a bee. Olga: That is boxing, not wrestling. Henry: And you would know that, wouldn't you, Olga? Listen, sweetie, I'm going to put this to you straight. I've got to get out of here because B.J.'s going to hurt someone who used to consider me a friend. I'm not going to let that happen. I'm a man on a mission. So I don't want to have to hurt you, but it may come down to that. And all the whimpering and crying and blubbering isn't going to stop me. Olga: Olga is more worried about Henery. Henry: Don't you worry about me, Olga. I've got a black belt. Olga: In karate? Henry: In my closet. And I know how to wear it. So step aside, you blonde goddess, you. This is Henry Coleman coming through. Oh! Ow!
Olga: Toes are moving? Henry: Toes, Olga, are at the end of my legs, which hurt. Hurt. Olga: Sorry Henry, but Olga have orders. Henry: Do those orders include helping me up? B.J.: No. They don't. Nice work, Olga. Olga: Thank you, Mr. Green. Henry: Where did you find her? A snow bank somewhere? Easy, easy, easy! B.J.: I'm glad you're here, B.J. I think I needed to explain something to you. I think you thought I heard something, and I didn't. But even if it did, why would I go with the cops? What have they ever done for me? Nothing. Are they going to put my little sister through college? No way! So I want you to know. I want you to know, from the bottom of my heart, you can trust me. Oof! B.J.: Henry, I believe you. Henry: You do? You do. Of course you do, that's good. Because I'm as loyal, Beej, I'm loyal as an eagle scout. Great. I'm glad we had this talk. I'll be talking to you soon. You're not going to let me go, are you? Look, I think you need to understand that people are going to notice that I am gone. I'm a memorable guy. My barstool at the Lakeview goes empty for even a couple of days -- people are going to know something's up, you know? B.J.: People are already starting to notice. Your little sister, she's asking questions. Henry: If you've laid a finger on my little sister -- B.J.: Henry, Henry, relax. I am not interested in Maddie. Although I could be, if you don't cooperate.
[ Cell phone rings ] Maddie: Henry? Henry: Maddie? Maddie: Henry, where are you? And what happened to your cell phone? And why was your shoe in the filing cabinet? B.J.: Convince her you're fine, or I just may have to pay your sister a little visit. Henry: Hey, I had to go on a little business trip. Very last minute. B.J. Insisted. I'm in Palo Alto. Maddie: But why didn't you call me? Henry: You know Palo Alto, it's near wine country? Maddie: Yeah, in California, like B.J. Said. Henry: Oh now Maddie, quit your whining. I called you as soon as I could. Maddie: I'm not whining. Henry: Whine, whine, whine, I never do enough for you. I'm always in the cellar as far as you're concerned. Henry: I've gotta go, my cell phone's breaking up. Maddie: But you don't even have your cell phone, I have it. I found it under the table. Henry: Oh, isn't that a miracle, I thought it was gone for good. B.J.: Say goodbye, Henry. Henry: Goodbye, Maddie. Maddie: Wait! Tell me where you are. What's your phone number? Henry: I love you, Maddie, don't you ever forget that. B.J.: That was very stupid.
Henry: I always tell Madeline I love her before I hang up. If I hadn't, she would've been suspicious. B.J.: Do you always tell her to stop whining? Henry: When she is whining. B.J.: You know, I could have you disposed of right now. Just one word to Olga. Henry: Olga wouldn't hurt me. Olga's fond of me. B.J.: Olga! Henry: Okay, okay. No, wait, wait, wait. I'm sorry if you misconstrued my attempt to mollify my sister. But as I'm sure as you are aware of, Madeline can be very persistent. I need to make sure that she believed me, which is why I kept her on the phone an extra minute or two so that she could know without shadow of a doubt that I'm alive and well. B.J.: Well, just one more stunt like that and you'll wish you were dead.
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