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Thursday, November 16, 2006 From one damsel in distress to another - Henry is now helping Katie win Mike back. Again. Today’s episode was directed by Sonia Blangiardo and written by Susan Dansby.
Transcripts from TVMegasite [ Doorbell rings ] Katie: Oh, please god, please let that be Mike. Please let him still love me. Henry: Hey. Katie: Hey. Henry: Writer's rage? Katie: I hate that computer! I never want to see it again. Henry: Obviously, it's thrown out there in the cold. Don't you have some book pages to finish though? Katie: I don't care about the book. Henry: Well, you're going to care when Lucinda takes back her advance. So, I'll tell you what. I'll see if I could get this thing to work. How long was it out there? Katie: Since Mike threw it out. Henry: What are you talking about? Mike won't throw this out there. Katie: He left me! Henry: You're kidding. You're not kidding. What happened? Did you have a fight or something? Was it about the computer? Oh sweetie, you didn't write something incrimination about him again? You know the last time you did that, you almost ended up in jail. Sorry, I'm sorry. Here, I'm just so sorry. I know it was an accident. That Mike almost went to prison. I understand that you didn't mean for that to happen, and I'm sure whatever happened this time was just an accident. And that we will fix it. What did you write? Katie: Nothing, really. Just a few choice words about how I accidentally slept with Simon.
Katie: One minute I was arguing with Simon, and then next minute, I was kissing him. Then it was over, and I realized what I had done. Henry: You left out the part about the sex. Katie: Because the sex -- it wasn't about the sex, Henry. Henry: Why did you do it? Katie: I don't know. It just happened. It was so wrong. Nothing like it is with Mike. I mean with Mike, I feel what he feels for me. Every moment is special because it's about something bigger than just ourselves, you know? It's about our future. And the family that we're making. Henry: Yeah, so during this passion with Simon, were there any random unexpected feelings? Katie: No. I just told you. Henry: Uh-huh, and afterwards? Katie: Afterwards, I realized how much I love Mike. And I just wished to god that I could take it all away. I mean, I was really confused. Henry: And you didn't have your old pal Henry to lean on, right? Okay, what's your next move? Katie: Just wait and see, I guess. I don't know. How could I have done this to him? Henry: I don't know, sweetheart. I think the bigger question is though, are you going to do it again? Katie: No. Henry: You got to be sure here, Katie. Because if you still have feelings for Simon, if you're not -- Katie: No, I'm over Simon. It's done. I'm finally cured. Henry: Yeah, that's what Emily said about pail, and it's so not true. Katie: I am over Simon. Henry: Why is it my constant plight to be involved with women who are in love with other men? Katie: It's because you're the best friend a girl could ever have. Henry: Thank you, always the bridesmaid, never the bride -- Katie: It's a good thing -- Henry: Okay, all right, all right. Okay, I'm going to help you out. Katie: How? Henry: I'm going to help you get Mike back.
Henry: Do you want Mike back or not? Katie: Of course, I do. But I've tried everything already. I chased him practically all over town trying to get him to come home. Or at least go to someplace quiet so we can talk. He would barely even look at me. Every word I said made him even angrier. Henry: Katie, Katie, Katie, have you learned nothing from my tutelage? The man has an achilles heel. He is in love with you. And I plan to focus in on that little weakness and we'll get your man back. Are you with me? Katie: Henry -- Henry: Are you with me? Katie: Yes. Henry: Katie Kasnoff, are you ready and willing to go after that man with every little twisted idea in our collective bag of tricks? Katie: Yes. Henry: I can't hear you! Katie: Yes, sir! Henry: All right, then let's get to work.
Henry: Ow, ow, ow! Katie: What happened? Henry: Ow -- I smashed my thumb with the hammer. Here, take a look at this. Katie: Whoa, hold on. Is it bleeding? 'Cause if it's bleeding, I see and I'll faint. Henry: Oh, really? Why risk fainting to come to the aid of the man who's trying to save your marriage? Katie: Well, if it's not bleeding, I'm all good. I'll even kiss it and make it better. Is that Mike's t-shirt? Henry: Yes, I was handkerchief-less. I had to improvise through my pain. Katie: You okay? Henry: Yes, I'm okay. It'll be fine, thank you. How's the backdoor coming along? Katie: It's done. Henry: Uh-huh, and the basement? Katie: Don't you think this is a little extreme? Henry: Yeah, I do. That's why it's going to work. All right, now, we have to plot our positions carefully. Because if you're in the wrong place -- well, Mike will bolt. And if I'm in the wrong place, then Mike will kill me. He will. Katie: I just wish he would call. Henry: Mmm -- Katie: Did you hear the phone ring? Henry: No, I was outside hammering, remember? Not Mike? Katie: No, it's Lucinda. She wants the new material for the re-release of "Oakdale Confidential." Henry: When does she want it? Katie: Yesterday. But that's not going to happen. I can't care about the book right now. It's brought me nothing but trouble. Henry: And oodles of cash, but that's a worry for another day. Katie: What? Henry: Uh, I don't know. You're a little splotchy from crying, your hair's a mess. Katie: No, it's not. Henry: Yes, it is. Get upstairs and make yourself irresistible. My brilliant acting can only carry us so far. Katie: Whatever happens, Henry -- thanks. Henry: You're welcome. Move. Think vixen.
Henry: Hey, Mike, it's me. I'm at the cottage. Mike: If you're calling to tell me that Katie's upset, I already know that. Henry: No, no, she's not here. But there's a pile of papers here by the fireplace. It looks like she's about to start a bonfire. It's probably nothing, but they look kind of important. Official. Mike: It sounds like some of my construction stuff from work. She's not gonna burn that. Not in a million years. Henry: Well, normally, no, but it looks like she's been drinking. Are you sure you don't know where she is? Mike: She probably went to Margo's or something. Henry: Oh, okay. Well, just think about it for a second here, Mike. If she's distraught and she's been drinking, and she's out there driving -- Mike: All right, I'll call Margo. Can you wait there for her, in case she comes back? Henry: Yeah, but she'll probably just leave or kick me out. Anyway, what about these papers? I really think you should come take a look at this.
Henry: Hey, have you talked to Margo? Mike: She hasn't heard from Katie. I didn't want to upset her. When did Katie start drinking vodka? Henry: I guess you must be out of wine. Anyways, these papers, do you need these or not? Mike: Yeah. I mean, I don't know why Katie would set them on fire? I mean, I mean she's not happy about me leaving, but to try to put me out of business, she wouldn't do that. Henry: She's not herself. Mike: Right. Look, will you stay here and wait for her? Let me know the second you hear from her. But don't tell her we had this conversation, okay? Henry: You're not staying? Mike: I just want to get my things and get out of here. I don't want to take any chances of running into her. Henry?
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